tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-815756355088575882024-03-13T21:04:18.166+10:00The Mushroom, J & MeMotherhood Musings, Relationship Rantings and Online Emotional Outpourings.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.comBlogger235125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-87476171754100227132019-04-08T21:05:00.003+10:002019-04-08T21:08:13.028+10:00StruggleLife has been getting me down lately. I've been having a pretty tough time, and I can't seem to get outside my own head.<br />
<br />
So today I took the time to speak to someone.<br />
<br />
Because I can't rely on others to fix me. I have to do it.<br />
<br />
And write about it.<br />
<br />
Obvi.<br />
<br />
You see, I loathe myself. I have no faith in my abilities. My ability to parent my kids, which I think I'm shit at and which is kinda why I don't blog anymore because I don't want people to know how bad I am at this parenting gig. Today my son told me that he just wants me to play with him. Heart fucking broken.<br />
<br />
My job, my lack of skills, my inability to move forward. I've been doing the same job for 11 years. But it's my fault. I've had no increase in pay. No advancement. Nothing. It's fucking depressing. Every time that I think that I'm good at my job, I question why I'm still there. Why am I still doing the same thing? Maybe I'm just not that good at anything. Not everyone is clever and talented and good at things. Maybe this is exactly where I need to be and this is it. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say but the fact remains that I'm still doing the same thing 11 years later. Speaks for itself really.<br />
<br />
The fact that we are broke 99% of the time. Living paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by and unable to do things on weekends with the kids as we literally can't afford the fuel. Last weekend I used various gift cards that I found in my purse to buy fruit and bread for my kids to eat.<br />
<br />
I don't know where I'm going wrong.<br />
<br />
I was exercising, I was feeling happy, and then I wasn't. And I started eating junk food all the time and my clothes got too tight and I looked in the mirror and just wanted to vomit. I don't want to have sex with my husband because I don't respect anyone who would be attracted to this. I can't look at myself in the mirror. I feel angry alot. I resent my husband's carefree attitude, my kids getting everything done for them, everyone else for being happy and succeeding in life, buying homes, getting good jobs, having well-behaved children...<br />
<br />
Last week I was feeling so bad that I wanted to run away and leave my family and never come back. But I didn't want my kids to be sad. And miss me. And hate me. Because mother's don't leave their kids unless they're awful scum of the earth human beings.<br />
<br />
Right?<br />
<br />
I was going to apply for a position today that I'm woefully under qualified for, but the thing is, that I could do it!! I could do this job! And I would love it!<br />
<br />
But I was sick and scared and I didn't do it.<br />
<br />
It closed this afternoon.<br />
<br />
Which I guess is why I am where I am today.<br />
<br />
Because I'm not willing to take risks and feel even worse about myself when I ultimately fail. The perennial pessimist.<br />
<br />
Is it any wonder that I feel as shit as I do?<br />
<br />
Yes. I'm working on it.<br />
<br />
Yes. I know that this is irrational and I'm obviously having some sort of episode.<br />
<br />
Yes. I'm a drama queen for sharing all this on my blog.<br />
<br />
No. I'm not going to kill myself. I wouldn't even know where to start. And I'm way too scared to attempt ANYTHING remotely self-harming unless you count eating multiple bags of potato chips and chocolate chip cookies in one sitting...<br />
<br />
I just need a stern talking to and to let go of my bullshit. I just don't think I can dig myself out of that on my own at this time. And that's why we should always speak up and talk to someone if shit gets too much. <br />
<br />
It's not weakness.<br />
<br />
It's ok to not be ok. <br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-85412049451654346942019-01-23T21:58:00.000+10:002019-01-23T21:58:58.354+10:00Road Trip We're one child down!<br />
<br />
Wooohoooo!<br />
<br />
Last Friday, we made the long drive to Womba (this is what my kids call the mining town where the in-laws live) and dropped off the first born.<br />
<br />
By long drive, I really mean long. Long drives suck at the best of times, long drives with 2 year old's is next level.<br />
<br />
In the first 2 hours of the journey I think we heard 'Are we at Meme's yet?' 14675 times.<br />
<br />
She also dropped things constantly.<br />
<br />
<i>M: Mummy!</i><br />
<i>Me: Yes Molly.</i><br />
<i>M: Mummy! </i><br />
<i>Me: Yes Molly?!</i><br />
<i>M: Mummy!</i><br />
<i>Me: YES MOLLY?</i><br />
<i>M: MUUUUMMMM! </i><br />
<i>Me: OH MY GOD YES MOLLY WHAT IS IT?! </i><br />
<i>M: My dropped my doll. Can you get it? Get it. Get it Mum. Get it. My can't reach it. Get it. GET IT MUM! GET IT!</i><br />
<br />
FML kill me now!<br />
<br />
The constant demands for food, toilet stopping, food, picking things up, food, toilet stopping, is enough to make a Mum lose her mind. About two hours in, I honestly thought we'd be flat out making it by nightfall, if at all. They were literally screaming whenever they saw a tree/cow/blade of grass. Juffin had to have some stern words because I use stern words all the time and everyone just ignores me.<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
Mushroom was a peach in comparison to his sister and the point when they both fell asleep was a bit like heaven. <br />
<br />
Hats off to those who drive big distances with little ones. <br />
<br />
You guys are fucking crazy.<br />
<br />
Or well stocked with the tech because our kids have none. <br />
<br />
Of course despite offering numerous times to drive, I was not given a chance behind the wheel so I read my books and dozed and assisted in dispensing snacks, picking stuff up and ignoring everyone.<br />
<br />
Ahh. The joys.<br />
<br />
I don't know if it was just the novelty of the initial trip or the fact that her brother was missing on the return journey but Miss almost 3 slept most of the way home, only waking just outside of Bowen when we stopped for fuel.<br />
<br />
Sidenote, halfway between Collinsville and Bowen our fuel gauge went blank and it appeared that we were almost empty. Being the thrillseekers that we are, we forged on. As soon as we saw the service station we pulled in and filled up. We got 57 litres. It's a 60 litre tank. We were inndeed running on fumes.<br />
<br />
Life on the edge man, yeow.<br />
<br />
We made it. 1100kms or thereabouts in 2 days. Just over 12 hours of driving so my little big boy could spend his last week of holidays with the grandies.<br />
<br />
I tell you what, it's bloody quiet without him. Molly is missing him the most in the afternoons but I think she's enjoying having us all to herself. <br />
<br />
And Mushroom is being spoilt, loving being the centre of attention and having a grand old time giving them heaps for a change.<br />
<br />
I miss him and his crappy attitude.<br />
<br />
Only 2.5 days to go...<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I didn't even know that that light was on for hours... bloody kids!</td></tr>
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-21631323765891730812019-01-01T21:38:00.000+10:002019-01-01T21:38:26.567+10:00Hello 2019! Friends, acquaintances, fans, stalkers, haters, Happy Friggin New Year! Thanks to all of you for being here and reading my silly little blog. It means the world. <br />
<br />
As you know, it was a massive year for me and mine, and whilst I feel like every year of parenting brings new challenges and successes, 2018 was bigger than any other. <br />
<br />
I wish I had some gems, some words of wisdom to share but I honestly don't know how it's January already and another year is over.<br />
<br />
Mushroom started school, Miss Molly turned 2, Juffin and I finally got hitched, we celebrated my sister's wedding to an amazing man, both of my parent's hit the big 6 0, we bought a new car, and I started increased hours at work. <br />
<br />
I'd like to say that I kept my fitness up, my healthy eating and hill walks but that went to shit mid-year. It's probably the longest that I've kept to a fitness routine and I'm disappointed in myself because I really enjoyed feeling strong and healthy and I actually felt happier. Of course there's no point in wishing that I'd not given up at all so all there is to it, is to start again. So I have. Losing weight is a just a bonus to feeling good.<br />
<br />
I'm working more hours so I need to be super organised. Juffin and I have had many arguments which centre around me having to carry the load, making sure the kids have lunchboxes every day, bananas that dinner is ready at a reasonable time, the washing's done, the kids have all the shit that they need for various activities. <br />
<br />
With Mushroom at school I have to remember what folder needs to be in the bag for which day. Library day, sharing day, sport day.. of course for some reason remembering these things fall to me. Which is bullshit. Hence the arguments. Juffin definitely pulls his weight but why do I have to remind him? I wish that he'd take the lead and just get this stuff done without me asking. Maybe 2019 will be the year that this will finally happen?! I won't hold my breath but he knows my position so fingers crossed we can make it work. <br />
<br />
Which brings me to my new year's resolution. Yeah I know, who the fuck has new year's resolutions anymore? Why put that pressure on yourself? But this is good. I promise.<br />
<br />
This year I will be a nicer person. <br />
<br />
To my husband. To my kids. To my parents. To my friends. To my colleagues. <br />
<br />
I will make a concentrated effort to listen. To respect others and as a result, I will be kinder to myself. <br />
<br />
You see I'm a bit of a fraud. I don't actually believe that I deserve good things and obviously that's bullshit because everyone deserves good things, but for some reason, I don't believe that I do. <br />
<br />
I'm really hard on my husband, I say nasty things to him and I often put him down. He will rarely, if ever, say anything nasty to me in return. <br />
<br />
I yell at my kids, and don't do enough with them. I make excuses to not to take them places because it stresses me out when they misbehave in public. <br />
<br />
I feel disconnected from my friendship groups and wish that we spent more time with other families but feel exhausted by week's end. I feel like my kids are missing out because I'm too lazy and can't be fucked. <br />
<br />
I could go on, but that's not constructive so I won't. <br />
<br />
I AM going to be more positive.<br />
<br />
I am going to be the best version of myself that I can be. <br />
<br />
So here's to saying yes. To making the time. To priorities and team work. <br />
<br />
And when my husband doesn't hang the washing out because I didn't ask him to, I'm going to bite my fucking tongue and ask him nicely to do it. <br />
<br />
Because it's one small thing and who the fuck cares? <br />
<br />
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Thanks again for being here and I hope that your 2019 is full of peace, love and lollipops. The way it should beJesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-5048287803271992152018-12-04T20:55:00.000+10:002018-12-04T20:55:03.529+10:00BreakSometimes you need to step away.<br />
<br />
Away from the potato chips, the chocolate, the wine bottle... social media.<br />
<br />
So that's what I did.<br />
<br />
Not the wine bottle but everything else.<br />
<br />
You see I share so much of my life online. This blog is just a snippet. I would post on facebook daily, instagram could be a few times a day and when I started doing stories, it blew out of control.<br />
<br />
I was always on my phone. <br />
<br />
And I do mean always.<br />
<br />
I had to charge it in the afternoon because I was on it so much the battery would run out.<br />
<br />
I don't know what changed, but I was walking around one afternoon and I noticed that no-one even looks up anymore. Their phones are glued to their hands in front of their faces. They're literally wandering around with no awareness of what's going on around them. And if they're anything like me, they're not even reading anything! Just scrolling through crap, mindless drivel. Shares of stupid meme's, fake news, buzzfeed quizzes.. ok buzzfeed quizzes are awesome, but you get my drift. I barely even saw any pics from my friends in my newsfeed anymore, it was just rubbish!<br />
<br />
So I logged out.<br />
<br />
I thought I'd do facebook first and maybe last a few hours but then I decided to do instagram as well. Because that one was turning out to be the real problem. <br />
<br />
In late September, I put up a post and then I logged out. I probably should have deactivated my account but I never imagined that I'd be off for two whole months. Me. Not on facebook or instagram for two whole months.<br />
<br />
But it's been two whole months.<br />
<br />
And I think I could probably do without it. I just logged back in and honestly, 99 out of 100 notifications are people tagging me in competitions and facebook telling me something is for sale in one of the selling groups I'm in. <br />
<br />
Clearly I've missed a lot! <br />
<br />
Don't get me wrong, I miss people's updates, their news, the photos of the kids and the funny updates. I really do miss that stuff, it's just all the other shit that I can't stand.<br />
<br />
Am I now a guru who has all the answers? Doubtful. I don't know what the solution is. <br />
<br />
I just know that I've read 11 books in that time, my washing has been up to date, I'm exercising again and I'm in bed and asleep before 10 most nights. My phone battery lasts all day and I actually watch the TV when it's on and engage with my children. Which is really what this is about I guess. <br />
<br />
I have realised that I'm actually not missing out on anything by not being on facebook. People still message me. They talk to me. They ask me about my life.<br />
<br />
Will I delete my account? No. But I won't be a slave to it like I once was, and if it gets too much, goodbye facey! I'm not going to be all I'm a saint and social media is awful, but if it's a problem for you, do it. It's refreshing to see people and not know what they had for dinner last night. <br />
<br />
So what did I miss? What have you been up to? And the big question, did you even notice? Did you miss me?<br />
<br />
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-89735998564060722132018-09-24T20:32:00.002+10:002018-09-24T20:32:59.524+10:00HangoverOn Friday I accidentally got stupidly drunk.<br />
<br />
I know what you're thinking, how can a 37 year old woman accidentally get drunk?<br />
<br />
Well, she drank lots of wine, didn't eat any dinner and forgot to drink water, soooooo...<br />
<br />
I did this at book club. Not wine club. Book club. We don't generally even drink at book club but hey, that didn't stop this dickhead.<br />
<br />
My lovely friend gave me a lift so I could have a vino or two, or twelve, but who's counting? It wasn't me! <br />
<br />
I was actually having an amazing time, laughing, sharing, chatting about all the things and I remember thinking to myself, aren't I lucky to have all these wonderful women in my life followed directly by, you need to eat some more food and drink some water Jess. <br />
<br />
Then I woke up fully clothed on my bed at 5am and I thought I was going to die. <br />
<br />
So that was good.<br />
<br />
I actually think it was mere moments after having the above thought that I shut my eyes at the table, everyone cottoned on that I was maggoted and my friend carted me home.<br />
<br />
Because I can't remember.<br />
<br />
The next day I apologised to all the girls and everybody said I was fine.<br />
<br />
Thank god.<br />
<br />
But fuck, I was not feeling fine.<br />
<br />
I was actually ok until I had to move. And move I must. My kids had a playdate and it had literally been months since we'd seen one friend as they've moved away and weeks since we saw other friend because life. <br />
<br />
And I love Mushroom that we were going to see his mates so yeah, couldn't get out of it.<br />
<br />
I showered. I drank some water. I swallowed some paracetamol. I pulled my shit together, got in the car (yes, probably shouldn't have driven, well aware, it was 12 hours later and I thought I was ok...) and drove to the Strand.<br />
<br />
I had to stop on the way to dry retch.<br />
<br />
I then bought coffee and gelato for the kids and lay on the ground groaning inwardly whilst my friends laughed at me and the kids had the best time ever.<br />
<br />
And then comes my mother of the year moment, are you ready? It's good.<br />
<br />
I vomited in public on the strand. <br />
<br />
It gets better, whilst I'm doing this, my two year old daughter comes over and pats me on the back repeating, "it's ok Mummy, it's alright" in soothing tones. I thanked her profusely whilst thinking that I'm probably the worst mother in the history of the universe, but also not, because I told her to get on the other side of me because it was windy and I didn't want to throw up on her.<br />
<br />
Yep.<br />
<br />
All time low.<br />
<br />
I really am the best mother ever.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Finest moment in recent history and also my best angle...</td></tr>
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PS do you ever really learn not to do this dumb shit? Because it's been 20 years and I'm still a dickhead...<br />
<br />
Photo credit to my GF Amanda. No birthday present for you!<br />
<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-34475074021937047632018-09-17T21:30:00.000+10:002018-09-17T21:30:01.963+10:00September Does anyone else feel like they should be doing all the things? But not even getting one thing right? <br />
<br />
Because, little old me over here, I feel like I'm doing a pretty shit job of most things.<br />
<br />
I want a career, to focus on work, challenge myself, make more money, use my brain, be successful at what I do but I can't seem to make it happen. I'm not sure if people just don't believe in me or I just don't believe in myself and I'm not doing enough to put that across. <br />
<br />
But then if I focus on work, where does that leave my kids? How do I serve myself and support them at the same time? How do I spend time with them if I'm racing them out the door to daycare and before and after school care and then racing home to cook dinner and fold clothes and read books and play and pick up all the toys and not be cranky and tired and present?<br />
<br />
And how do I keep my house clean? And stay on top of the shopping and the cooking and the cleaning and the never-ending washing... and let's not mention the walls and the cupboards and the windows and the fans. All the big things that should be cleaned regularly that just don't get done because frankly I'm flat out mopping the damn floor let alone wiping down the fucking walls. And why is it my job? Who made me the person in charge of house cleaning? Just because I work less hours, I'm the chief cleaner or is it because instead of a penis, I have a vagina, which obviously means that I do 95% of the housework? Please explain. And, yes, Juffin does clean. He cleans the bathroom, the toilet, does the dishes every night, wipes down counters etc I just get fucking annoyed that I have to ask him to hang out the washing or bring it in. How fucking hard is it?<br />
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Speaking of, when do I get to spend time with my husband, quality time, where we don't just argue about money or who didn't put the dishwasher on, or who let the kids eat too many snacks before dinner so they don't eat it and then serve them yoghurt? We have no family here any more, no free babysitter on tap and I wish my village was bigger but I feel so awful because I can barely find the time to see my mates now, and I only know what's going on with them because of fucking facebook and I need to put my relationship first because that shit is important but it would be nice to see more of my friends and spend quality time with my husband but there's only so much that this Mama can do... <br />
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Then there's the self care. The exercise, the eating well, the hairdresser, the leg waxes, the down time on your own... I like sleep but it's rare that I'm in bed before 11. Because it's the only time that I can be alone. And have you tried dragging yourself out of bed, after you've woken up at 2am with a cold arse because it's hanging off the side of your queen size bed as there's two males taking up most of the room and your daughter is trying to use your head as a pillow and you have to move down the end of the bed to get some room and then you get kicked and/or chatted to for hours until your alarm goes off at 5.15 and you think fucking hell, exercise is the last bloody thing I feel like doing and you roll over and get one hour of good sleep before your bladder is turned into a trampoline for one very exuberant 2 year old on? Well, have you?<br />
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I feel the pressure, the load, the weight of my fat arse and all these things that I'm not doing well, if at all, and it's no wonder that most of us are suffering under the weight of our own failed expectations.<br />
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Where do these feelings come from? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves? Why do people pretend that life is fucking perfect? I just can't buy into that bullshit. Today I saw a story on instagram and this woman was showing us her immaculate kitchen with shiny, clean surfaces, no clutter, no mess and was doing that self-deprecating bullshit where she goes, 'oh don't mind the mess'... FARK YOU LADY! Your giant, beautiful, AMAZING kitchen, which is bigger than my living room, is showroom perfect. You probably spent HOURS cleaning it. HOURS. And if you didn't, WELL FUCK YOU! BECAUSE MY KITCHEN LOOKS LIKE A BOMB HIT IT MOST OF IT THE DAMN TIME! <br />
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Do you guys feel like you're doing shit wrong too? Let's stop pretending everything is peachy. Let's share the shit. And I don't mean like "Today sucks, FML" let's be honest. Like last week, I was home with my son who had conjunctivitis and I let him watch TV all day whilst I read my book in my bed and I ate a whole block of roast almond chocolate that I hid from him so I didn't have to share...<br />
<br />
Yep.<br />
<br />
I'm a fat pog.<br />
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And this is my life.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sausage Morel's</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-66771226438472841022018-08-30T21:48:00.000+10:002018-08-30T21:52:50.892+10:00AugustI've had a hectic few months. <br />
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To say the least. </div>
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Just to recap since June I have been to Brisbane 3 times. </div>
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I eloped. </div>
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I helped celebrate my Mum's 60th by being the drunkest person there and writing myself off in spectacular Jess fashion. </div>
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I had my 20 year high school reunion.<br />
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I spent a week in Brisbane with my beautiful sister and her fam bam. </div>
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My sister got married to the boy next door, whom we have been friends with for 25 years. It was a moment. </div>
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I travelled alone with Molly Maniac and survived. </div>
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I came home and took a few days and had the best spa experience of my damn life. </div>
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And now we're here!</div>
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I bought a dress online for Amy's wedding that was a shift dress. I tried it on when it arrived and it was fine. I mean it wasn't anything like my usual style and I didn't think I looked stunning in it but it was pretty and I liked it. When I tried it on for the boys, Juffin loved it but Mushroom said I looked like a hairy bird... hmmmm. Anyway, fast forward a few weeks, ie days before the wedding, and I thought I'd better try it on again. I'd done zero exercise and eaten all the foods and the shift dress that looked ok before, now looked like a floral sausage casing... FML. How could this happen?! Why do I have no stamina? No self control? FFS I was going to have to buy a new bloody dress! As luck would have it, I'd bought myself a new dress from a vintage style shop a week ago and took that with me just in case I was just having a fat day, not just fat. </div>
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Alas. Fat. </div>
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Wore the vintage style dress and didn't match my family at all but hey! At least I didn't look like a floral encased sausage. </div>
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Lesson learnt. Stick with what you know suits you! </div>
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My kids have been pretty great through this tumultuously busy time. I have been away a fair bit, and not exactly present when I have been around and this is something I need to work on... enough with the insta stories Jess! They have trooped on regardless with very little bad behaviour, well no more than usual, and lots of disruption to routine and sleep. We've been back to our regular scheduled program the last two weeks and they're still a bit hit and miss in the sleep department but bribery is working a treat. Hooray for bribery, an essential in any parent's arsenal. </div>
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Molly highlights include: falling in love with her cousin Rubie, and her new uncle Shiney, killing it on the plane and not carrying on at all, having the time of her life at the wedding dancing and creating burger ring angels on the floor, loving Amy's dog Obi to death, rocking her flower girl dress, telling everyone that she's a 'dancing queen', staying up til 10 most nights and still waking at 6am when we were on holidays, remembering a million people's names after only meeting them once AND talking a million miles an hour to all and sundry. </div>
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Mushroom has also been going great guns. He got his first award at school. Which I fucking missed because they didn't let me know in time but let's rise above. He wore his first suit and rocked it, got up early with Dad and went to before and after school care every day that Mum was away, has started putting all his clothes away without me having to ask him 45 million times, getting ready for school with no yelling from Mum, first school excursion and they took the BUS, and he's graduated from basic paper plane construction to aeronautical engineered marvels and my house is full of them. Aside from all these things he is generally the funniest, cuddliest, cutie pie on the planet and I love him to bits. This school thing has been such a huge adjustment for him and has made me realise how much I'll miss my baby boy when he's big. </div>
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I felt really bad that I didn't have him with me the whole time that I was in Brisbane but I didn't want him to miss that much school and Juffin didn't have enough leave left at work to be with us... I don't think he noticed but it would be nice to holiday with my fam more often so the kids can hang out more. I miss being close to them. </div>
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My new husband and I have been like ships in the night. Work, uni, travel, housework, a lack of effort and connection on both sides... I know we just got married but we have been together for 10 and a half years. You forget that you still need to make time for each other, talk, cuddle, make out in the kitchen. I will put my hand up and say that since having kids I don't initiate intimacy very much at all, and I guess that takes it's toll. I'm working on it. We are both trying harder, being nicer, touching. Whatever it is, it's working. It's nice to feel loved and sexy and do nice things for someone who appreciates you. </div>
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Wow. I'm a cheeseburger. Can you say lame?! </div>
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Here we are, it's almost September and I feel like I blinked because it was February 5 minutes ago. Obviously my attempt to blog weekly got left by the way side months ago but hey, I tried. I honestly don't think that my life is interesting enough to write about weekly anyway. You can follow me on insta if you want bullshit updates on the daily cos I post some serious shit on my stories over there. Like for real. Last night I decided to treat everyone to a dazzling rundown on my skincare regime and selfies after exercise. </div>
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See? I'm the LAMEST. It's riveting stuff.... </div>
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Till next time xo</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My world</td></tr>
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-11850793549216449462018-07-18T22:28:00.000+10:002018-07-18T22:28:06.862+10:00Week, wait, what week is it? Well I think it's safe to say that my poor blog has fallen by the wayside. <br />
<br />
Just like my commitment to healthier living.<br />
<br />
Ugh.<br />
<br />
Why you so shit Jess?<br />
<br />
We just finished school holidays here in Qld and Juffin took a few days off, so I didn't have to and Mushroom only had to spend one day at Vacation care. Brilliant. Molly went to daycare as usual as I worked my normal 3 days and Juffin spent some time with Mushroom on his own. Doesn't happen very often anymore the poor little one! He was thrilled to have his Dad all to himself. They watched Star Wars, played Minecraft, went to the movies, ate junk and didn't do any cleaning. <br />
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<br />
Of course, as fate would have it, both children took ill during last weekend and I had one vomiting all over the show and the other clinging to my legs whingeing constantly.<br />
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Fun times.<br />
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So the day's I didn't take off during the holidays didn't really count for much as I was stuck at home with two sick, painful AF children for two very long days. I packed them both off today thinking it would be fine, but got a call just after 2.30 to get Molly who's temps were getting higher and the paracetamol that I'd provided eon's ago had expired. Of course it had.<br />
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At least I got to work most of the day right?<br />
<br />
RIGHT?<br />
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Ugh. Hopefully she's ok tomorrow. The bigger one was fine. Pretty sure he just didn't want to go back to school but fingers crossed he settles in better this term than the last one!<br />
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I went to a birthday party with Mushroom over the weekend (BEFORE he got sick) and I got a lump in my throat watching him play by himself. He didn't really interact with the other kids. He took off on his own, or stood by and watched everyone else play. I don't know what's going on. His teacher said that he has heaps of friends but we've never been invited for a play at anyone's house, not that I've asked anyone over for a play either, but I don't know if that's a sign of him not really connecting with someone or me being a douche. On the last day of school, they had a fairytale day, and I watched as he sat by himself , he sat a few metres away from the group, and he ate his morning tea. I urged him to move but he was happy where he was and after Molly and I left, I cried. He didn't seem phased and always talks about playing with this person or that person but it just makes me sad to see him like that.<br />
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I'm sure I'm just being a dickhead. Parenting is killing me.<br />
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Being poor is also killing me, so we've had a bit of a chat about reversing our work roles, with me maybe working full time and Juffin picking up some part time work so he can focus on uni and the kids. It's been 5 years of me working part time now and I'm ready for a challenge, a change, I just don't want the Mummy guilt that will inevitably follow. Nothing's set in stone, but we know that we can't continue as we are as Juffin is working his guts out for peanuts and not getting any study done and we're barely making ends meet.<br />
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Has this arrangement worked for anyone else? Pros, cons? How do you deal with the guilt of missing out? I feel like I still miss out most of the time due to work and the inability to take a two year old along to school things or Molly missing out because on my days off I rush around like a mad thing trying to get shit done.<br />
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-15047160562869153152018-06-25T21:26:00.003+10:002018-06-25T22:05:20.132+10:00We ElopedFor those that aren't on my socials, I got married this weekend. Like I ran away, with my lover, my best friend, my baby daddy, and I married him.<br />
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<br />
I took this as a sign that we were doing the right thing.<br />
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Eloping is kind of a big deal. Especially in this day and age.<br />
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Obviously Juffin and I have been together for a long time. Ten and half years actually, and we'd been engaged for nearly five. However, we'd been talking about marriage for nine of those years.<br />
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Juffin has been married before. Yes. He's very old... not. The first time, he got married young, and it didn't work out and that's what happens sometimes when people are young and in love and reach that point and think fuck it, let's get married. I'm not saying that it's wrong, it just doesn't work out for some couples and that's ok. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. We talk about it now and he has no regrets. Neither do I. We both had to be where we were for things to work out. Otherwise they wouldn't have.<br />
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I digress.<br />
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Can you tell that I've had some vinos? Haha<br />
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We'd had numerous discussions about getting married. <br />
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Married in the Daintree with our closest friends and family, booking a whole place out for a weekend. <br />
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What about an 'engagement' party surprise wedding in the backyard? <br />
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Then it was literally going to be visiting the registry office and spending the night at a hotel, but that wasn't an option in Townsville anymore. <br />
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We just liked the idea of eloping... We'd talked and talked and TALKED and nothing came of it. People stopped asking when we were going to get married. They just stopped.<br />
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And then a few months ago, shit got real. We'd talked about going to New Zealand, going to Tasmania, going somewhere different, exotic, far away, and then we thought, why? Why not just go somewhere close, but not too close, and do it? We had some money, for once, we could afford it. What part of the world did we love? Where had we spent amazing times? Why not just get this shit done?<br />
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So we set a date and we started the wheels in motion. <br />
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I looked up how much notice we needed, one month. I googled celebrants. I googled accommodation. I googled my little heart out.<br />
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And can I just say here that this is why eloping is hard.<br />
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YOU CAN'T TALK TO ANYONE!<br />
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If you want to elope properly, which we sort of did, then you can't talk to anyone! I'm a sharer, a talker. Keeping this fucking secret was HARD!<br />
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We booked a celebrant, we bought our rings, I bought a dress, we ummed and ahhed over locations.<br />
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In May we told our parents because we knew that we'd need someone to watch the kids for the weekend and whilst I thought my Dad would be ok if I told him I'd eloped, I'm not sure my Mum would have. They were so happy to be involved, so excited to keep a secret. Juffin rang his Mum and Step Dad and again, there was nothing but love. We're so lucky.<br />
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I booked accommodation, got my dress altered, kept looking for the perfect shoes.<br />
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On that home stretch I may have fibbed a little. I told people that we were going away on our own for a weekend, child-free to a wedding on the Tablelands.<br />
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I just didn't tell them that it was ours.<br />
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I didn't really talk about it at all as thought my face would give it away.<br />
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I told my friend we were going away on her birthday and she laughed and said we should elope. I thought I was going to die but managed to laugh it off. I thought for sure that she knew what we were up to but she didn't say another word about it.<br />
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Juffin bought his suit, we finally locked in on a location, we wrote out vows, I decided to get my hair and makeup done and frantically looked around for someone to do it.<br />
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We were a week out and that's when I thought we might actually get away with this, it might actually happen.<br />
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I started telling random strangers. When I managed to find the perfect shoes, I told the lady in the shoe shop that I was eloping on Friday.<br />
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When I got my legs waxed on the Tuesday before, I told the random 22 year old that I was getting married on Friday.<br />
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On the Wednesday night before we left, my mummy friend asked me where we were going. I'd been vague, which is unlike me, and said we were going away to a wedding. She outright asked me if Juffin and I were eloping, to which I just replied with laughing emojis.<br />
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I nearly had a panic attack.<br />
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I wanted to surprise everyone, yet wanted someone to share it with and Juffin was being a typical male who was like, yeah, it's great, what's the big deal?!<br />
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UGH!<br />
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Then it was Thursday and we were leaving and it was actually happening.<br />
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We stayed in Cairns on Thursday night. We met with our celebrant, the amazing Amy @ <a href="https://www.themerrimentcocairns.com/">The Merriment Co Cairns </a> and had a chat about what we were hoping for, if it was any more casual, we'd probably all be asleep, lols. Then we went out, had some Pho and saw Solo - A Star Wars Story.<br />
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I couldn't marry a man who'd never eaten Pho before.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Converted</td></tr>
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<br />
And then it was Friday. Our wedding day. <br />
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The hair and make up wizard came to our B&B in Cairns and made me look pretty before we left. Danielle from Cairns Bridal Makeup was so beautiful and professional and amazing. You can find her <a href="https://www.cairnsweddingmakeup.com.au/">here</a> if you need someone in that area...<br />
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We left Cairns an hour after we'd hoped, almost 1.30pm, and we'd been hoping to get to our location by 3pm, at this rate it would be almost 5pm!<br />
<br />
Me being me and Juffin being Juffin meant that there were a few hysterics and alot of nonchalant whatever's.<br />
<br />
I'll let you guess who was doing what.<br />
<br />
And then we got to our treehouse and it was magic.<br />
<br />
We got dressed.<br />
<br />
We hopped in the car and we drove to the Curtain Fig tree where we met Amy, and we got married.<br />
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<br />
I cried when Juffin read his vows.<br />
<br />
I cried when I read my vows.<br />
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I cried so much that snot came out.<br />
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I wiped the snot off.<br />
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We had dinner in Yungaburra at an amazing restaurant. Drank too much, ate too much, went back to our treehouse and pretended that we were childless for a few days.<br />
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<br />
And now that's how we eloped.<br />
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Married after ten and half long years.<br />
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And we both lived happily ever after.<br />
<br />
The end.<br />
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-78238988492994367732018-06-17T22:14:00.002+10:002018-06-17T22:14:34.148+10:00Weeks Twenty Two and Twenty ThreeWell I didn't even make it halfway through the year before I missed a week. And not just one week, two! <br />
<br />
Useless.<br />
<br />
I think that when I decided to blog weekly I thought that my life was more interesting. Turns out, it's really not, and I'm not sure that me whingeing weekly about my life is as exciting as just sharing funny or exciting events on the blog.<br />
<br />
Does that just sound like I'm trying to get out of blogging weekly?<br />
<br />
Because I am.<br />
<br />
Hah.<br />
<br />
Leading up to last weekend Molly and I had some little chats about no longer breastfeeding. We were still having a bedtime feed, and I know that MANY people have things to say about breastfeeding past a certain age but I don't give a flying fuck. My child, my business. <br />
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I was going away for my sister's hens weekend in Brisbane and I think that she's too old for bottles, I wasn't going to express and frankly I was sick of it. Breastfeeding a two year olds is hard work and she was starting to jump around and try and take me with her. Um no. Hell no. So we had a few chats and then I did the bad mother thing and ran away. For three nights. <br />
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When I had a chat to Juffin about it, he said that she didn't notice. She didn't ask about it, she didn't even mention it. She didn't even seem to notice that I was gone. <br />
<br />
RUDE<br />
<br />
I got back on Sunday, bedtime as normal. As was Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday... When I say normal I mean still a shit fight but absolutely no mention of breast milk.<br />
<br />
Then on Thursday, she has an hysterical meltdown because she wants boobie milk.<br />
<br />
Seriously.<br />
<br />
A week later.<br />
<br />
That afternoon, I'd listened to her kindy educator tell me how intelligent and clever she is. Ummmmm, are we talking about the same child because clearly this girl is a little slow on the uptake. I mean I get it, I wasn't around so she didn't notice, but I'd been home for over 4 nights! Unbelievable. <br />
<br />
I was actually feeling sad that she didn't notice, now I just felt bad for taking it away from her. But I didn't give in. Because I'm a mean Mummy and breastfeeding two kids for two years each is enough. And now it's over. Forever.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNBVCanIrR-2TOz98Q2wz74MFK0BdxJ5VyQKqtthoqabphjyaPM2WbNlf5esXmtN2FhIRNuHXNpz2Sr9OUXD3O0Y-kKSsYk-rDTdqIk_ckBFzHnoz5aQmfzbVCEjQ0nKpjyQDeGlzS59g/s1600/DSC_0050.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNBVCanIrR-2TOz98Q2wz74MFK0BdxJ5VyQKqtthoqabphjyaPM2WbNlf5esXmtN2FhIRNuHXNpz2Sr9OUXD3O0Y-kKSsYk-rDTdqIk_ckBFzHnoz5aQmfzbVCEjQ0nKpjyQDeGlzS59g/s320/DSC_0050.JPG" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Will never have to boob in the car again!</td></tr>
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<br />
I left my kids for a few days and went to Brisbane. On my own. I drank alot, I ate alot, I managed to get my flight home and wasn't in some kind of death state.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The only selfie I took.. who even am I?!</td></tr>
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<br />
<br />
A bad cold ripped through work and because I never get enough sleep, and I'm too busy trying to get everyone else organised, I ended up having a day off work as all the snot and the constant cough finally caught up with me.<br />
<br />
Boo to bad health.<br />
<br />
I've been very lax in the fitness department and bad habits die hard. I wish I could say that I'd made mostly good choices but that would be a big fat lie. I thought I'd be further along my journey by now, but sadly, I'm not. No-one to blame but myself.<br />
<br />
Mushroom has been doing much better at school and though his behaviour isn't exemplary, I love that he's a cheeky shit sometimes. I'm not supposed to say that am I? It's hard not to laugh when he's mimicking his father or myself. The no picking up of toys is actually driving me insane though and today I nearly lost my shit and threw everything in the bin. I have to start enforcing the pack up before you move on to the next thing. There's stuff everywhere!<br />
<br />
Today I said that they could watch a movie, which is rare these days, and they ended up tipping the popcorn all over the damn floor. So this happened:<br />
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<br />
I am over cleaning up other people's messes. It's not my job. And I have to do this for at least 15 more years. I'm not sure my head won't explode before then.<br />
<br />
Can I just throw out all of our stuff?! <br />
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-69776854341796346992018-05-28T23:29:00.000+10:002018-05-28T23:29:58.044+10:00Week Twenty OneWhat a hectic week! <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Monday saw me finally admit defeat and I had to come home from work as my voice was barely audible, I couldn't make or take calls because people didn't need to be dealing with that squeak and my head was starting to get fuzzy. I must have had an addled brain as I still exercised but barely being able to breathe is not cool. Despite feeling like shit, I still did washing, cooked dinner, made up lunchboxes and generally kept up my usual duties. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Like Mother's are wont to do. </div>
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<div>
On Tuesday Molly and I took my broken glasses back to Specsavers and I was astonished when they said they're still under warranty, AND WILL BE REPLACED FREE OF CHARGE! The hinge of the arm was broken, I thought they'd replace that, I was happy to pay for it, did not even think my glasses would be replaced. Win! We also went to the chemist where I picked up some new lippies for HALF PRICE and onto the park before coming home for a nap. </div>
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Sadly our visit to the park included pee pants, a skinned knee and blood on my new dress and my favourite bangle breaking... after such a great morning, I couldn't help but feel like someone was having a laugh at my expense! </div>
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Wednesday rolled around and Juffin started his descent into sick town as I was still pulling myself out of it. </div>
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Is there anything worse than a sick male? </div>
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Answer: No. </div>
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Ugh. </div>
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I upped my salad game, popped my vitamin c and ignored him. Sometimes you just have to rise above. </div>
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When I opened my eyes on Thursday and squinted at the clock and it said 6.45, I immediately rolled over and punched sicky in the arm. He swore and jumped out of bed and then proceeded to cough up a lung I told him to call in sick because no customer wants to be confronted with a spluttering, squeaky mess. Eww. He was adamant he was going to work but after 10 more minutes of that bullshit he gave in and made the call. </div>
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Honestly. </div>
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Then I had to endure getting everyone and myself ready for kindy, school and work whilst he lay around feeling ill. </div>
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INSERT POKER FACE EMOJI HERE</div>
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Of course, he had to drop me off so he could have Shirley, just in case he needed to go somewhere AS THERE AREN'T TWO OTHER REGISTERED VEHICLES HERE FOR HIM TO USE. </div>
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I made him go to the Doctor. If you're that ill you can go to the Doctor. </div>
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Friday is Molly and Mummy day and we always go to the fruit shop, get a baby cino, grab a steamed dim sim.... it used to be enjoyable until madam turned into a tantrumming toddler and now I need to bribe with donuts and stickers and she still turns into a nightmare. It's hectic and I can't believe that I actually forgot that this is what they're like at this age. How could I forget? It goes on forever too. Then we got home and she refused to sleep. Like flat out refused. I have the builder here repairing the bathroom and I couldn't just leave her in her room to scream. Which I usually do. Yep, mother of the year. So at 2.30 I gave up and we had something to eat and then went to pick up Mushroom. </div>
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Amazing news! Mushroom had made it to 'FABULOUS JOB' at school for doing exceptionally well in reading groups! HUZZAH! Maybe our hard line at home is working. Either way, stoked! And glad that I'd thought to buy him a little lego set to put away for these small wins as a reward. </div>
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Hooray! </div>
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Our weekend was hectic! We had another birthday party, housework, washing, I let the kids paint and make a mess, hill on Sunday morning for me and some Daddy time for the kids. </div>
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Over the last few weekends, at breakfast, we've had a very friendly, beaky visitor and this Sunday, he got a whole lot friendlier. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRbKbtIRiZso-Etetju465sE8eTkwTFdBNd5LIjeLrxGlM8NcRBeFZd0XXt6WRGBquo1wvOHPmf4wBxsQdvBdaazU2C5FhGQAYQWAGeD_xYuCa_W9YInx5mqBpB7M8dQU26Vt-0Qx1Ehs/s1600/20180527_090214.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRbKbtIRiZso-Etetju465sE8eTkwTFdBNd5LIjeLrxGlM8NcRBeFZd0XXt6WRGBquo1wvOHPmf4wBxsQdvBdaazU2C5FhGQAYQWAGeD_xYuCa_W9YInx5mqBpB7M8dQU26Vt-0Qx1Ehs/s320/20180527_090214.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Can you believe that shit?! I spoke to a friend who has experience with the feathered folk and she believes that he must have been hand raised, as literally had no qualms jumping on Mushroom's head! I don't know if he is a boy, but I'm just calling him him. The kids don't have a name for our friend yet, and I'd just like him to fuck off forever as his beak is way too sharp for my liking and he landed on my head as well and I nearly died, but if he comes back I'll have to be nice to him for the kids sake.... </div>
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After all that excitement, Mushroom was lucky enough to go over to the neighbours place to play for the rest of the day and Juffin took Molly to Bunnings and hung out with her so I could get my bake on and pull out this masterpiece. </div>
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I didn't eat it, but traded it for a new pair of sneakers so feeling pretty comfortable with that exchange. </div>
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If you have something I may want, I may be interested in a trade.. haha! </div>
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Sadly my Sunday didn't end well and I gave in to a borderline migraine and hit the sack at 8.30. Sometimes you just need to say fuck it and go to sleep and worry about getting shit done the next morning. </div>
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Have a great week everyone! </div>
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-89507105178492747502018-05-22T22:13:00.000+10:002018-05-22T22:13:29.961+10:00Week TwentyI'm getting later and later with these bloody posts. First it was Sunday, then it was Monday, and now here I am on Tuesday night thinking shit, I didn't post my blog yet. I am clearly committed.<br />
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Last week marked our second in a row of no TV. <br />
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Yes. <br />
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We stopped turning on the TV. Even on the weekend.<br />
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The kids have actually been fine. It's beautiful weather here in sunny NQ and they've just been playing outside, drawing, making lego messes and generally entertaining themselves.<br />
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To say I'm shocked would be an understatement. <br />
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I thought we'd have major issues and so far, none. <br />
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They did watch a movie on Sunday after we got home after an outing on Sunday<br />
but compared to the months past, where the TV was on more and more, it's a vast fucking improvement.<br />
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BUT what about their behaviour I hear you ask?<br />
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WELL Mushroom's teacher did remark that he was very much improved! There are a few other changes that we've made, sticker charts, removing items for bad behaviour and basically increasing our position re discipline and what's expected of him and it's been pretty good. Like I don't feel like a shit parent 99% of the time, maybe only 70% now, so woo! <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi3D8KIm2vPb9NWb19tlGmfK1zsKxk5FOoyIPkmQH8Nrfst0c9rgND-DzfIKLYG6QE_jgIW8hgo48A01x_8tJD2xA3Ccj_yj9n6tw1LTmb6OTxUr4QrY0wnfGPX_9zvYzWNVAYdT8hcP8/s1600/20180522_213917.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi3D8KIm2vPb9NWb19tlGmfK1zsKxk5FOoyIPkmQH8Nrfst0c9rgND-DzfIKLYG6QE_jgIW8hgo48A01x_8tJD2xA3Ccj_yj9n6tw1LTmb6OTxUr4QrY0wnfGPX_9zvYzWNVAYdT8hcP8/s320/20180522_213917.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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We've had a few hairy mornings where all the boy's stickers have been removed from the chart and he's had to start from scratch but once he knew that we meant business, he's been much better! Not sure that the 2 year old understands what is going on but she seems to like putting stickers on the chart and the threat of no stickers has succeeded thus far. It may be too early to say it's been a total success, I mean let's not count our chickens, but there's been a marked improvement. This parenting gig is fucking hard work.<br />
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This also happened....<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjowSKK76KV__urAFc0InhIAV_Divvyko-YDqyKm6MW_xYfFTQshLtnRo-nCEIKkZN9Rid28LSX-XUZCcaC6B739igYu4FHvnS8Smw4UsaOBXbIEVqX4FoU58Qpf602cZww7-zc8dWqmCQ/s1600/20180516_174804.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjowSKK76KV__urAFc0InhIAV_Divvyko-YDqyKm6MW_xYfFTQshLtnRo-nCEIKkZN9Rid28LSX-XUZCcaC6B739igYu4FHvnS8Smw4UsaOBXbIEVqX4FoU58Qpf602cZww7-zc8dWqmCQ/s320/20180516_174804.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Yes! We got a new car! Well new for us. Juffin went to the auction and picked up a bargain. We're a bit stoked. It's older, and has more kms than we wanted but it is SCHMICK and it's a vast improvement on my old bomb so huzzah! And I tell you what the best thing ever is! Listening to my own tunes and rocking the F out!! I can STREAM from my phone! It's amazing! I can now listen to podcasts on the go and do the bluetooth thing. Feel like I've been jettisoned into the 21st century and have no idea what any of the buttons do like a proper old person but whatever. <br />
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SCHMICK!<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibSTumkvASNk3VYRQG3ZSniNgN1reFCZ_dbJuUX1fCglRjgwpN2hslSkTAFtnvzMqgW5o0oTUjanpExOtdmGIiu7AnUqugTAeOf83h2jRjU4rFG44pPZLb8EjxACzYwrLW0Sf5hL8iXEM/s1600/20180509_175127.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibSTumkvASNk3VYRQG3ZSniNgN1reFCZ_dbJuUX1fCglRjgwpN2hslSkTAFtnvzMqgW5o0oTUjanpExOtdmGIiu7AnUqugTAeOf83h2jRjU4rFG44pPZLb8EjxACzYwrLW0Sf5hL8iXEM/s200/20180509_175127.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF_q1woTQmIpcyP5ZHMO8va8O2aSKzamnxsnTVaIy7m9lTobhZB7kMtNeK2eOC22xq9rx8LRTDgBMjtUMIlJPswH88bxVahINpRkxerx_LL0Q5OkkfKfdE6NkNy7x3E9o4OwGsYXF9J2Y/s1600/20180515_155827.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF_q1woTQmIpcyP5ZHMO8va8O2aSKzamnxsnTVaIy7m9lTobhZB7kMtNeK2eOC22xq9rx8LRTDgBMjtUMIlJPswH88bxVahINpRkxerx_LL0Q5OkkfKfdE6NkNy7x3E9o4OwGsYXF9J2Y/s200/20180515_155827.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">During</td></tr>
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Molly had her first haircut as well! It was a big week. I took her to my beautiful hairdresser and she's just the best. Molly was good for the first 4 minutes and then I had to utilise Peppa Pig via you tube to get it done. Still has fluffy tentacles but at least they're not hanging in her eyes and hindering her toddler vision, which is shit at the best of times.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEius7rGeqTmDLCF4FzEm6vROo2lg-RfXW87QXWId1qCw30s4Kuhtsso8my_KO2B6BYd7XsqX1xgFYq362YmjiYumFtSuM7dijIBexwG_9Ce-uYiIIDzrsvFKnXnm69r9GdAVLISPeIXzp0/s1600/20180515_161113.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEius7rGeqTmDLCF4FzEm6vROo2lg-RfXW87QXWId1qCw30s4Kuhtsso8my_KO2B6BYd7XsqX1xgFYq362YmjiYumFtSuM7dijIBexwG_9Ce-uYiIIDzrsvFKnXnm69r9GdAVLISPeIXzp0/s200/20180515_161113.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After</td></tr>
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Other things of note to record from last week include eating too much at stupid work morning tea (zero self control these days!), starting and finishing book club book, rediscovering my love of dancing in the kitchen, the royal wedding and being really and truly happy for Megs and Harry, mastering the lemonade scone and our first little outing in Shirley the pearly girly! <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIAncVAS9qbNFOQ8oltygNCONxVe-mYvTX-qP4LmSe3hxudaMHWf2nn48j6M8mYXZbOwgTgb-k1-xn_QKa4sV3xH2gwDrsx5TIWkDl6pnzV5aQ9Dsw_ISOFCeyj9RdQy0mmcu7lwDMZmE/s1600/20180520_095052.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIAncVAS9qbNFOQ8oltygNCONxVe-mYvTX-qP4LmSe3hxudaMHWf2nn48j6M8mYXZbOwgTgb-k1-xn_QKa4sV3xH2gwDrsx5TIWkDl6pnzV5aQ9Dsw_ISOFCeyj9RdQy0mmcu7lwDMZmE/s400/20180520_095052.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How's the serenity?</td></tr>
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-13045720784130558192018-05-14T22:54:00.001+10:002018-05-14T22:54:18.702+10:00Week NineteenDo you follow the fabulous Busy Phillips on Insta? If you don't, you should. She gives me life.. 'YOU GUYS...' She listens to fab music which she shares with us, talks a mile a minute, loves her kids to bits and is generally a super amazing down to earth celeb who I love. Busy and Anna Paquin are my absolute fave famous ladies at present. I almost comment on their hilarious posts but feel like a stalker. <div>
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Why is that? They're just sharing snippets of their lives like I do, but I don't know, creeping on people you don't actually know or haven't met before seems 'rude' or weird to me. </div>
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I know! I have ISSUES! <div>
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Why am I talking about this? Because I do share lots of my life online. My health, my life, my job, my relationships and my kids. I know that in this day and age that it's maybe not so wise. I guess I'm feeling a little guilty about it. My kids never gave me permission to share every thing they do with all and sundry. I don't want my kids to grow up and see what I shared and be humiliated or embarrassed, or hate me for sharing things about their lives that they never consented in me sharing... </div>
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Obviously all these things make me think twice about blogging in general and I'm now questioning what I've already written. Things online never truly disappear so even though I could delete my blog but it wouldn't guarantee that it would disappear. It would still exist somewhere, in the online universe, never really going away. Which sucks. </div>
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I know that teenage Jess would hate to have read online all about her shitting in her pants at 2 or eating bubblegum off the road when she was 4 years old, I'd be absolutely mortified. But older Jess, Jess now, I love hearing those stories, I'd love to read anything my Mum wrote back then so I could hear how she coped, what happened, what her day to day was like. Because now that I'm a mother, I'm interested and I can relate. And time passing has this funny habit of removing all those shitty, mundane details so you can never really remember all the little things. </div>
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So what should I do? I have to admit that I never asked Juffin if I could write about him in this way too and whilst I don't share too much re our relationship, I do say some not so nice things about him from time to time. I don't even think he reads my blog. </div>
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It's too late to be asking these questions right? Like duh Jess, probably should have thought about this shit 5.5 years ago. Am I overthinking shit as per usual? Not that many people even read my stupid blog so not sure why I'm even worrying about it. Hardly going viral over here. Just thinking about privacy and how I've been remiss, especially when it comes to the kids!</div>
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Is it time to shut this shit down? Would anyone even miss it?! It's not really the point though because I like doing it, for me. As my little online diary. So I know what was happening at the time and I can go back and read it and laugh at myself. </div>
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-14853088995778663042018-05-08T22:09:00.001+10:002018-05-08T22:09:59.344+10:00Week EighteenIt's May! May! WTF<br />
<br />
I feel like I repeat myself which this shit weekly, but guys, it's fucking May! It's week 4 of term 2 already, and we're hurtling towards mid year... What in the world?!<br />
<br />
Things I achieved this week:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Washing Queen</li>
<li>See amazing portrait paintings for Percival Prize</li>
<li>Car research</li>
<li>Sheets washed and changed</li>
<li>Juffin application writing</li>
<li>Sister chats</li>
<li>Hill walking</li>
<li>Fit into dress haven't been able to wear for 3 years</li>
<li>Floors</li>
<li>Flash child free dinner</li>
<li>Quality family time</li>
<li>Not die after alcohol consumption</li>
</ul>
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<br />
Mushroom is still carrying on for school drop off and citing various reasons for his bullshit behaviour. Have had a few chats with his teacher who's all over it so crossing fingers this is yet another phase and school will improve again. This morning was more to do with being jealous because Molly and Mum were staying home and he wanted to as well so he could play lego and watch TV. Don't blame you there mate. We had a good chat about it, school being his job now etc and obviously life means doing things that may be hard but you'll get to your goal in the end. And his current goal is become a Scientist, "so I can do 'speriments' all the time". Brilliant. Not so brilliant is his behaviour at school because basically he thinks it's fucking social hour over there and talks to anyone who will listen, like will not stop talking. To anyone. Teacher included. And, I'll be really sexist here, like a typical man, cannot seem to multitask and work at the same time so is not getting any work done as a result. None. <br />
<br />
Ugh.<br />
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I know that you all think that this is hilarious given my particular fondness for chit chat. Talk about chip off the old block! Seriously though, if he doesn't start focusing soon, I will lose my shit. Juffin and I had a chat tonight and we've decided to limit the TV time to the weekend. We're both guilty of putting it on when we need some down time and that's a bullshit cop out so we're both going to work on being more present, spending time outside and actually playing. I will need to hit Kmart for some crafting supplies and we'll set up a little activity corner for them so they can go nuts. Yes, the cleaning up will suck but maybe they'll have longer attention spans as a result. One can only try these things but something has to change. My boy is clever, he just needs to stop talking and focus.... god that feels like karma at work right there! Haha!<br />
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My folks came to visit for the weekend and it was so lovely having them here. I'm blessed with parents and parents in law that actually want to spend time with their grandchildren. They happily babysit, even during the week, and luckily we've had a few sleepovers as well. I know that they've already raised their kids, but they're only too happy to help out when we need. Some are not so lucky and it's just really sad. Working full time is exhausting, I get that, but helping out your kids by taking care of your grandkids for a day or two over the school holidays, picking them up from school or daycare, taking them for a night over the weekend so they can get some sleep, that's not too much to ask is it? Apparently for some it is. And that fucking sucks.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Art</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Best of a bad bunch! Kids did not participate well in photo taking</td></tr>
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Exercise has been non-existent after a few late nights trying to get applications done (Juffin), hens party planning, dress shopping, flight booking, finance sorting, washing... it never ends. We're looking at getting a newer car soon and had to get all our ducks in a row, so fingers crossed we'll find what we're looking for shortly. To be perfectly honest, my piece of shit car may not survive that long, and it's pretty embarrassing clunking around town in it. On the positive side, I've yet to be carjacked and can leave it unlocked anywhere I go and no-one even attempts to take anything. Probably jinxed myself now... <br />
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I did get the hill done with the rents over the weekend, but haven't done an actual work out in almost a week. I really do just need to get out of bed earlier but my constant late night's lately hasn't helped me there. I've also been plagued by headaches and I think it's directly related to my lax attitude to sugar, namely lollies, and carbs in the last few days. I almost attempted hill walk with Molly today but couldn't bear to listen to the whingeing.. which really is redundant as listen to her whingeing all day every damn day... ahh 2 year olds, aren't they the best?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Worth the slog up there for this view!</td></tr>
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-75751386523622517582018-04-29T20:06:00.001+10:002018-04-29T20:06:44.124+10:00Week SeventeenI remember when I was a teenager, I went on a ski trip to NZ with my school mates. I think I was in grade 9 or 10. Anyway, I bought all my family presents, except my Mum. I literally didn't even think about getting her something until we were in the airport on the way home, so I got her some shitty soap and some other crap.<br />
<br />
My Mum was so upset. She'd paid for my school trip, organised my bags, dropped me off at the bus, yada yada yada, and I was the ungrateful arsehole who didn't even THINK about buying her a present until we we almost at home, let alone, appreciate all the things that my Mother had sacrificed to send me on that damn trip. I mean, I bought myself Docs on that damn trip. What an arsehole.<br />
<br />
It always makes me super sad and I think about it a lot. Especially because obviously I loved my Mum, but I guess I didn't like her very much. I was a teenager, she was kind of a hard arse and I felt so misunderstood. I thought I knew everything and she knew nothing. Clearly that is totally wrong. My Mum is amazing, hilarious, smart and strong, and so generous. Not only do I love her now, I like her heaps. She's the first person I call if I need someone. I was just 14 and I thought I knew it all and she couldn't possibly understand what life was like for me. The fact that I didn't even think about her is clearly the most devastating piece of info above. Obviously I was a totally selfish bitch. To be forgotten, not thought of at all, that's the most hurtful thing about it I think.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"My want Daddy"</td></tr>
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So why am I writing about this now? Because my kids don't like me very much. They prefer their Dad. I'm the mean Mum who makes them clean up, who yells all day because they won't listen, who makes their food and makes them eat it. I wash their clothes and make them put them away, I say no when they want to watch TV or a movie, I say no when they want to eat junk, I say get down, when they're using the couch as a launching station... Obviously Juffin says no too, but I think they just hear me saying it all day every day and that makes me the bad guy. And I'm fucking sick of it and my kids are only little, so I have years and years and YEARS of them hating on me and I feel emotionally scarred already.<br />
<br />
Tonight I sat on one side of the table as the kids fought over who sat next to Juffin. He ended up sitting in the middle whilst they sat on either side.<br />
<br />
Yesterday I got home from being out and there was no-one waiting to greet me at the door but whenever Juffin returns from anywhere there is DADDY! DADDY'S HOME! DADDDDDYYYYY! And hysterical jumping and loving. Me returning home, Hi everyone! Silence.<br />
<br />
Bastards.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spoilt</td></tr>
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I was doing sight words with Mushroom tonight and the word 'Dad' came up. He goes "Dad's the best and Mum's the poopest" and then laughs hysterically.<br />
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I wanted to smack him in his laughing face.<br />
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I know that this is all normal. I know that there has to the favourite and the other one, and I know that my kids love me, but damn, it doesn't feel good to be the other one. It doesn't feel good at all.<br />
<br />
I'm sorry Mum. I wish I could take back that crappy soap and whatever other stupid thing I gave you. 14 year old Jess needs a smack in the chops.<br />
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It's been a hard week culminating in a beer induced migraine last night and I'm feeling just a wee bit flat. I missed my workout yesterday, I didn't do the hill this morning, I ran out of time to bake and I'm now a day behind with my washing. Molly has been getting progressively harder to handle and Mushroom's behaviour has not improved. I can't help but feel like I'm a crappy Mother and when they prefer their father over me, it feels like that's just proving the point. Especially when you are the one who organises their entire lives. <br />
<br />
What's the solution? Suck it up Jess. Get over it and get used to it. Which I will. But I've come here to vent about it in the meantime. Being a Mum is fucking hard. Bring on Monday and a fresh outlook. This week was crap.<br />
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-59978913548524091642018-04-22T22:03:00.000+10:002018-04-22T22:05:39.224+10:00Week SixteenMy kids are driving me batshit crazy. They feed off of each other and the oldest one is so defiant. Won't listen, talks back, yells, riles his sister up, runs amok... I'm ready to pack in the towel. I just walk around with the wooden spoon in my hand wielding it atop my head, ready to strike at a moment's notice. <br />
<br />
Fuck. My. Life.<br />
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Several days ago, Tuesday, Wednesday, they're all the same, I threatened, on a whim, to remove everything from my son's room except his bed. Toys, books. lego, puzzles.. you name it, the whole lot. Now I think I'll actually have to follow through and there's so much stuff in his fucking room that the whole thing was a bullshit idea and I really am the worse Mum ever. I should never have said it in the first place but I can't take it back.<br />
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Why is it when our kids are misbehaving, that we feel like we're the worst parents in the world? I thought I was an okay Mum but lately, not so much. One must soldier on...<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"GO WAY MAX!"</td></tr>
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School went back this week, can I get an AMEN?! I totally didn't know about the pupil free day on Monday until the last week of holidays so had to do some begging to the MIL. I think she was relieved to only have one.<br />
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Mushroom seems to have settled back into school quite well but doesn't seem keen on his fave friend from last term anymore. He won't tell me what happened, just that they're not friends anymore. The boy in question still says hello every morning and seems keen to talk to Mushroom, but he's being stone cold. It really does break your heart when you see/hear this shit but obviously it's just life. I've explained to him that you can have lots of different friends and even if you don't play every day, you can still be mates. I mean, they're 5. He doesn't seem short on friends so far, so hopefully he'll muddle his way through.<br />
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He had his Fun Run this week, it was postponed due to rain from last term. Of course I was there in my giant sun hat, and no-one else in stupid Nth Qld was wearing one. What's wrong with people?! Anyway, they had to run 650m and watching their tiny little legs run that distance was exhausting. Mushroom didn't come close to winning but I think he ran most of the way, and he was pretty stoked with his ice block afterwards. His house did actually win on the day so he was telling everyone he won which wasn't a blatant lie.... my son the storyteller. No idea where he gets that from?!<br />
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Molly has taken to removing her nappy after sleep time and then defecating on her bed. Yes. She shits on her bed. It's happened twice now in 3 days and it's a veritable shit show.<br />
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Why is she doing this? Why now? We're almost bloody toilet trained FFS<br />
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She's killing me.<br />
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At least Juffin was home to deal with the aftermath today. And she doesn't play in it. Just squats and poops. Good God.<br />
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We went to the park on Tuesday so I could wear her out, and I managed to get her off the swing for 3 minutes in total.<br />
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Any other Mum's just spend all their time pushing the damn swing?<br />
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I've been doing well with my exercise again this week but food has been hit and miss. Need to tighten the reigns, so to speak, and start being strict again. I'm nowhere near where I should be after all this time due to bad food choices. At least I seem to have gotten into a groove with the exercise thing, small mercies!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hooray for fitting into smaller pants! </td></tr>
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My new salties arrived, along with my much needed new work shoes, but I still have to buy some decent walking shoes. Who likes buying practical things?!<br />
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I discovered how to use Insta stories and have spammed all my friends and followers ceaselessly over the weekend.<br />
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I would apologise but I'll probably keep doing it. I love the socials. Total social whore.<br />
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Aside from attending a million birthday parties, and watching my kids ingest an abhorrent amount of sugar, the shoe thing, and starting a new book, I don't have much else to report. We're busy trying to get a few ducks in a row here, hoping to make a big purchase soon, so fingers crossed that all works out and goes smoothly.<br />
<br />
Now that I've talked about it, you know it won't.<br />
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Ugh.<br />
<br />
And on that note, I'll end with this astounding fact, my rents celebrated their 39th wedding anniversary yesterday. 39 years! They also really like each other and hang out and do stuff together all the time. It's a bit cute and sickening. Happy Anniversary Muzz and Colls. Love you!<br />
<br />
<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-27149685791766134172018-04-16T22:28:00.002+10:002018-04-16T22:28:35.280+10:00Week Fifteen <u><b>Monday</b></u><div>
Alarm goes off early but I'm shattered after staying up too late watching Call the Midwife. I hit dismiss and roll back over. </div>
<div>
Kids come in and crawl all over us, I have work at 9 so I get up, make breakfast and coffee, shower, make-up, facebook, realise the time, freak out and leave...</div>
<div>
Work </div>
<div>
Finish work at 4.30 and rejoice that it's my only work day of the week however the alternative is staying home with demanding children and yelling... </div>
<div>
Get home and house looks like bomb hit it, Juffin cooking sausages (it's meat free Monday) and there crap everywhere. Too tired to yell. Get dressed and do my work out, almost die. </div>
<div>
Dinner turns out to be chilli sausages so everyone has a shit fit. I think they're delicious but Juffin is blaming me for not telling him that there were chilli sausages in there.. I totally forgot. Whoops. </div>
<div>
Get kids into bed, tidy up kitchen, folding washing... </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<u><b>Tuesday</b></u></div>
<div>
Kids in my bloody bed again for half the night</div>
<div>
I don't have to be anywhere so I do my work out whilst the kids watch TV </div>
<div>
I give in and make pancakes as they keep nagging</div>
<div>
Hang washing out</div>
<div>
Realise at 9.30 that I will murder children if we don't get out of the house so spend 45 minutes packing food and locating hats, shoes and sunscreen to go to the fucking park </div>
<div>
No sunscreen</div>
<div>
Stop at chemist warehouse on way to park, transfer dollars into account but account is overdrawn so card won't work. Kids are yelling about wanting jelly beans and pulling shit off the shelves. Transfer more money onto a different card whilst hissing at children under my breath. Card works. </div>
<div>
Pack kids back into car and fight with insane toddler who has started planking when entering car seat and screaming at top of lungs. Ready to pack it in and go home without even visiting park. Realise that I haven't had coffee which is affecting my ability to cope but have just wrangled kids back into car and don't want to repeat experience. Macca's coffee it is. Card wont' work again. </div>
<div>
Use other card. Juffin going to kill me. </div>
<div>
Get to park! Finally! </div>
<div>
Extricate bikes, bags, hats, put shoes back on toddler, apply sunscreen, unload scooter and children, converge on park. </div>
<div>
Managed to get table sit down, yelled at by Mushroom who wants to sit elsewhere, have to stop myself from telling him to fuck off and eat a bag of dicks and instead smile sweetly and tell him that he's welcome to sit wherever he likes... he stomps over and throws helmet onto table knocking over my untouched coffee and spilling it all over me and the floor. </div>
<div>
I almost cry. </div>
<div>
He apologises. </div>
<div>
Again I have to stop myself from telling him to fuck off. </div>
<div>
My friend and her kids come and join us. It's glorious. It would be better with coffee. </div>
<div>
Her Dad does a coffee run. Day improves immensely. </div>
<div>
Leave park around 12.30 and head home</div>
<div>
Small child slept well, big smaller child chilled and watched TV. I got organised with dinner for family as I was heading out</div>
<div>
Went out for dinner with friends. Had korean food. Was amazing. Love girlfriends, love cocktails, wish I could drink more of them... got home after 11.30. Totally shagged. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><u>Wednesday</u></b></div>
<div>
Molly is back at daycare, huzzah! </div>
<div>
Up at 6.30 and get organised, pack lunchboxes, and get sorted for the day. Mushroom and I are off to do the hill. He has dressed himself and filled his camel pack with cold water. He can be the most adorable human. </div>
<div>
Drop Molly off and head to hill. Whingeing starts 2 mins in but as soon as we hit the track he's fine and literally running rings around me. The track is not as bad as I think it will be until we hit the last 600m which consists of neverending stairs. Stairway of death. Manage to survive but not sure how. </div>
<div>
On way down it starts raining and we get a bit wet but it's so nice to hang out with my little big boy, he's hilarious. </div>
<div>
We get home and he refuses to shower but I definitely.do. We get changed and I drop him off at his mates place for a few hours whilst I get some shopping done. </div>
<div>
I wait for 25 minutes for a coffee that is too hot to drink for 30 minutes. </div>
<div>
I wander aimlessly around the shops looking for inspo to buy for my daughter for her birthday. Nothing looks good. </div>
<div>
Think about having lunch at shops but can't justify spending the money so I buy a piece of steak and bananas (always bananas) and head home.</div>
<div>
Mushroom is having a ball so I eat my lunch and then possibly fall asleep on the couch for an hour and a half. </div>
<div>
When I wake up, I make cupcakes for my friends' daughter's birthday on the weekend and Molly's kindy birthday the next day. It's already 4pm so I go and pick up the kids and head home to make dinner. I'm feeling lazy so make fish cakes with a tin of tuna and leftover mashed potato and pair it steamed vegies and cheesy pasta for the kids. It's a big hit. Sometimes you have a win. </div>
<div>
Bring washing in, fold and put away, vow to clean the floor tomorrow, frost Molly's cupcakes and clean up my baking mess and pack Molly's lunchbox. Tell Juffin to put the dishwasher on before he goes to bed, fall asleep before 10. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><u>Thursday </u></b></div>
<div>
"It my Birthday today Mum? My birthday?"</div>
<div>
No Molly, not today.... poor darling has no concept of time. It's not even 6am... </div>
<div>
Juffin drops Molly off so I put Mushroom to work and we pick up all the shit from the floor and I vacuum. Ok. I used the movies as bribery but it totally worked. We don't have time to mop before I leave but at least I can see the floor again and there aren't toys covering every visible surface. It's a rush to get dressed, locate shoes, and then fight about wearing appropriate clothes that aren't stained, or holey, or both... must do wardrobe clean out and get out the door on time. </div>
<div>
Get to cinema only to be told that there is a vacation group in our session and seats are limited. I'll be damned if I have to sit down the front so I race in and nab seats next to another Mum and her daughter. Movie is dry and hilarious and very British. Goes straight over Mushroom's head. Worst ways to kill 90 minutes. </div>
<div>
We hit the shops and get lots of stuff for Molly. Mushroom is savvy shopper and assists by pointing out all the things he'd like for himself and pleading with me that he really needs them right now. Realise again that I've left the house without coffee and wonder who the fuck I have become. We get sushi and coffee and stuff our faces. Manage to get home by 2 and have a little down time before going to pick her up. I get the mopping done and hang the rest of the washing. </div>
<div>
Pick Molly up. Get home, start dinner, consider getting takeaway but decide to be good, and we have taco's. I love Taco's. </div>
<div>
Stay up late with Juffin and Mushroom wrapping presents and getting organised for the big girl's day. Message my friend to see if she wants to meet for gelato, and so glad that she does. </div>
<div>
Crawl into bed some time after 11. Realise that I haven't done any exercise today </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><u>Friday</u></b></div>
<div>
The birthday! </div>
<div>
Molly is up at the crack of dawn and is the most excited cherub ever. </div>
<div>
Can't believe we've had her for two whole years. Can't believe time has flown by. Get emotional and wish she could be a baby forever but love her walking, talking, sassy self. </div>
<div>
Make pancakes for breakfast, dress children, fight with Mushroom about wearing appropriate footwear. Can't be bothered fighting. Too tired. Realise that it's raining and washing still on line. Don't care. </div>
<div>
Miraculously, remember to take chicken out of freezer. </div>
<div>
Pack up snacks and jump in car, late, head to the Strand for gelato. Molly insists on bringing her new doll and pram so have to walk at snails pace across the road with small child pushing doll in pram. People think she's adorable. I think she's a pain in my arse. </div>
<div>
Meet friend for gelato. Strand is beautiful, kids relatively well behaved. Head down to the park and spend a blissful two hours soaking up the sunshine and not yelling at children. </div>
<div>
Head home and birthday girl falls asleep en route. Senior neighbour comes straight over when I get home to return borrowed books and bring present for Molly. She is adorable. </div>
<div>
Transfer birthday girl to bed and put a nappy on her, locate more books for neighbour, thank for the present. </div>
<div>
Turn TV on for Mushroom and eat some lunch. Fall asleep on the bed for god know's how long. Wake to Mushroom yelling at me that he's going to poo. </div>
<div>
Put roast chicken in oven at 4pm. Whip up vegan chocolate cake for tonight. Take kids down to shop to get milk and bread and, you guessed it, bananas. We also need potatoes for roasting. Children are quite well behaved considering and I let them ride the unicorn out the front. They are shit and don't even go up and down. Rubbish. </div>
<div>
Get home and put vegies on, do dishes. Go and check clothes and they're still wet. Wash some more clothes and hang out nappies. </div>
<div>
Juffin comes home and is greeted with cheers and affection. This never happens to me. </div>
<div>
He has alcohol so he is my favourite person today. He entertains children whilst I finish dinner. We eat and have cake. My kids are happy. My daughter is ecstatic. Chocolate cake is her favourite thing in the whole wide world. I still can't believe that she's two. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><u>Saturday</u></b></div>
<div>
"It my birthday Mum?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Fuck. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-8967552889547824962018-04-08T22:24:00.000+10:002018-04-08T22:24:32.721+10:00Week FourteenI did it you guys! I did 30 minutes of exercise for 30 damn days in a row! I'm amazing! <br />
<br />
What is amazing is that how amazed I am at myself for even managing to stick to that shit.<br />
<br />
Look at my dumb, sweaty face! <br />
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<br />
<br />
And guess what?<br />
<br />
I lost and gained 2.5kg in 30 days. <br />
<br />
Hahahahah<br />
<br />
What a rort!<br />
<br />
BUT<br />
<br />
I feel better. I look better. My fitness has improved. And I think I'm less cranky.<br />
<br />
Though after this weekend, Juffin and the kids may disagree...<br />
<br />
We had an up and down week. Juffin had a few days off due to school holidays and I had my usual days off and I think that this messed with the kids and their routine a little bit. That and succumbing to illness as soon as the holidays hit. <br />
<br />
Both have had high temps, coughs and snotty noses. Juffin took them both to the Dr on Wednesday and it was the usual undisclosed virus. What can you do? Nothing. They seemed to rally quite quickly but we still have snot.<br />
<br />
And coughs.<br />
<br />
And attitude. <br />
<br />
Molly had holiday days off from daycare also so we've all been in each other's faces all week. Aside from Tuesday when I took them both to their grandmother's house so I could do the floors and lay on the couch. <br />
<br />
She's has stellar days with the toilet training and has zero accidents and then follows it up with pissy pants all day long! I don't understand it! We will persevere and hopefully things will click soon. I'm sick of washing damn nappies.<br />
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<br />
Here she is having a moment in the trolley on Friday. It was a tough time for everyone. Shopping with two children is really my limit. I struggled to keep my shit together and they mostly didn't. <br />
<br />
Fun times!<br />
<br />
I had fun with Mushroom making slime. Our first batch wasn't awesome, but the next batch was more than satisfactory. I think I'm a bit awesome now. Just saying...<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
It's actually really relaxing playing with it. I kinda like it.<br />
<br />
Caution, period talk coming up... Since having the mirena in. I've had my period twice. In a month. Which is a bit shit. It also lasts for over 10 days. Which is majorly shit. I'm trying to be positive and trust the process, so fingers crossed this bullshit doesn't carry on for 6 months. I'm pretty sure that my body is a bit stupid however, as I had no breaks from periods after child birth, despite breastfeeding both my kids on demand, and when I started taking the mini pill again, my periods were all over the show for months. <br />
<br />
What I'm trying to say, is that it's normal and I just have to trust that it will all settle down and sort itself out.<br />
<br />Woooosaaaaaa. <br />
<br />
In preparation, I've gorged on chocolate, eaten potato chips and pasta, as I officially start another workout plan tomorrow. Except this one is 90 days. <br />
<br />
Fingers crossed I can do it! <br />
<br />
Getting Juffin to take measurements tonight, as didn't do that before the last one and make sure the alarm is set.<br />
<br />
In other news, Juffin has pink eye, and blamed me. However my eyes are shiny white and not at all itchy. I told him his body is trying to tell him something, ie don't stay up late studying all week and then play video games until 2am on the weekend and not expect to pay for it somehow. I mean, I know that I definitely need to work on going to bed earlier, but he's an absolute shocker. Last night, he watched a fucking movie that I wanted to watch with him, without me. I almost kicked him out of the house. Who does that?! <br />
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<br />
Ps my little big girl is 2 on Friday.<br />
<br />
W T F (insert crying eyes emoji here)Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-58120397350515988472018-04-02T23:03:00.000+10:002018-04-02T23:03:51.324+10:00Week ThirteenHappy Easter my friends!<br />
<br />
I'm all messed up due to extra days off and excessive chocolate consumption and only just realised tonight, that I probably should have posted this yesterday... whoops!<br />
<br />
Last week already seems like a lifetime ago!<br />
<br />
Work was beyond hectic, and I mean beyond. I spent my work day's trying to convince people to keep their ever increasing health insurance product, whilst thinking to myself, what's the fucking point? Don't get me wrong, I believe in health insurance, I just don't know how we can continue to pay all the costs. It's insane.<br />
<br />
Mushroom finished term 1 with a bang. He can read things now. And write his whole name. Yes. He can write Maximilian and spell it correctly with the right amount of l's and everything. Astonishing stuff. He managed to leave his tupperware drink bottle behind in the classroom, which I was super pleased about, and skin his toe upon leaving after school care. Winning.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKGFH1kEjoDQ7IxF_YzxVDR1WuYxK2vI2bQkkHjcCjq8XWb9Z3fozolhl2jw1uPg3qd4ZNcHeD_cugX9wTBIO07tcZ4KzKs3tK-7hL9gfa0n2VkNAruc8qveZCkeo_gzzS8jpuzaoI2Vg/s1600/20180329_191323.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKGFH1kEjoDQ7IxF_YzxVDR1WuYxK2vI2bQkkHjcCjq8XWb9Z3fozolhl2jw1uPg3qd4ZNcHeD_cugX9wTBIO07tcZ4KzKs3tK-7hL9gfa0n2VkNAruc8qveZCkeo_gzzS8jpuzaoI2Vg/s320/20180329_191323.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fake Smile with eggcellent easter hat!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I'm just glad that I don't have to make lunchboxes every day for the next two weeks.<br />
<br />
I know.<br />
<br />
First world problems.<br />
<br />
I decided to give that other supermarket's online shopping a go again and it was a bit of a shit show. I think my biggest complaint is that you actually have to go into the store and pick up from the service desk. At the other place you just reverse up to the back and they help you load it into the car. Semantics. But it's fucking fabulous. So I go in, speak to the ladies, let them know I'm there, and then I wait for 20 minutes. 20 minutes is a long time! I know it's Holy Thursday and people are going mental because the shops aren't open for one day and they'll probably die, but 20 minutes! When it did finally come out, everything was fine and it was good. It just took so freaking long. And I didn't buy that much so could have probably picked up everything I needed in the time it took for them to bring it out to me.<br />
<br />
I haven't shopped online at that supermarket for a long time, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and try them again, but I tell you what, that pissed me off. Because I waited so long, by the time I picked the kids up and got home, it was 5.45! I finished work at 4.35! That's insane. Thankfully it was breakfast for dinner night, and we smashed it out, but damn, I was a bit peeved!<br />
<br />
Molly's latest is not sleeping at nap time and destroying her bedroom. Since last Wednesday, she has not managed to lay down and go the f to sleep even though her eyes are hanging out of her head and she's behaving like The Wicked Witch of the West. Her antics include pulling all of her shorts out of the drawers, removing her nappy and putting them on, throwing all the books around the room, removing her bedding (sheets, doona, pillows) throwing them on the floor and then jumping on the bed, pulling her dresses off the rack and putting all her stuffed toys in the laundry basket and spinning them around. <br />
<br />
She's too little to not have a sleep so I don't know where this bullshit is coming from but it's making me pretty fucking cranky.<br />
<br />
I like to get stuff done when she's sleeping, like exercise and clean the floors, have a shower without answering a million questions or watch violent not-appropriate-for-kids, crappy TV so she needs to sort her shit out.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5sOwFstiqkW64773EQaszsWCQ8ScmYyzVyMZcHMwqX-u_9ArAgHuSJlCtquI7gcBD7DqEktP5Z0oSjP3ceYJ5YGgjK2LPVwmU194p98gq8s_9eiacDTMHfS69TOch-fFfEdyATv5pvMI/s1600/20180329_180341.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5sOwFstiqkW64773EQaszsWCQ8ScmYyzVyMZcHMwqX-u_9ArAgHuSJlCtquI7gcBD7DqEktP5Z0oSjP3ceYJ5YGgjK2LPVwmU194p98gq8s_9eiacDTMHfS69TOch-fFfEdyATv5pvMI/s320/20180329_180341.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hard to be cranky when so fucking CUTE!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
This week the kids decided that they like fighting each other too. So there's that to enjoy for the next 75 years.<br />
<br />
They push, kick, trip and hit each other.<br />
<br />
It's fucking delightful.<br />
<br />
I know that all kids do it but damn! It's awful to watch and listen to. They're so loud. It's obviously karma.<br />
<br />
When they're not fighting, they do love each other and I'm ever grateful for the forced age gap between them. Mushroom is so helpful with his sister and her biggest cheerleader with toilet training and life in general. It's pretty gorgeous. Today Juffin snapped them holding hands in the car.<br />
<br />
Cute.<br />
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<br />
<br />
And finally, I'm on day 29 of my 30 day workout challenge and, wait for it, I HAVEN'T MISSED ONE!! I've exercised for 30 minutes EVERY DAMN DAY FOR THE LAST 29 DAYS!<br />
<br />
I am exercising Queen!<br />
<br />
Here I am in my new flamingo skirt.<br />
<br />
Because flamingo's.<br />
<br />
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-85053342299456090942018-03-25T22:37:00.000+10:002018-03-26T05:47:13.404+10:00Week TwelveI was just sitting here on the couch thinking, damn I'm tired, I need to go to bed, and then I realised that I haven't blogged about my week yet.<br />
<br />
12 weeks down, 40 to go! What the actual?!<br />
<br />
I had Mushroom's parent teacher interview this week. I stuffed up the time of course, and thought it was Wednesday, it was actually Tuesday, and then Juffin couldn't make it so we made it Thursday and then he still couldn't make it... grr! Anyway, all is well. He's a 'character', which I think is a nice way of putting shithead, but seems to be tracking well re reading, writing and all the other stuff. Huzzah! He's a chatterbox, loves learning, has trouble focusing and hates being wrong.<br />
<br />
Not my child at all!<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
Hah.<br />
<br />
My hairdresser has returned from maternity leave and I stuffed up my appointment and booked something else in on the same day.<br />
<br />
Are you sensing a theme here?<br />
<br />
Anyway, because she's the best, we managed to sort it out and my hair has never been more grateful. I swear. I feel so much better after having a cut and colour. I was starting to look like my hair was washed in a toilet bowl.<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
Molly continues to challenge me daily with her tantrums and sass. Her go-to response to all questions is a stern 'NO WAY' which she follows with vigorous head shaking.<br />
<br />
To be honest, she's doing my fucking head in, and I'm finding it hard to remember that this stage will pass soon enough as well because whilst you're living it, it's fucking hell.<br />
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<br />
<br />
Last night she woke up at 2am and refused to go back to sleep. I totally lost my shit and started yelling at 4am because I just wanted some damn sleep and she told me to stop.<br />
<br />
Deep breaths Coleman.<br />
<br />
I ended up putting her in bed with Juffin and Mushroom, who'd already invaded, and going to Mushroom's room to sleep. Suffer all of you. I could hear the two kids looking for me at 7.30 and I just burrowed down and pretended I couldn't hear them.<br />
<br />
Bastards.<br />
<br />
Work has been nuts but makes my day's disappear faster than I'd like. Some days I look up and it's 4.15 and I don't know exactly what I've achieved that day but it must have been something because my head hurts and I need wine.<br />
<br />
Juffin has been studying his arse off and staying up until all hours doing things with numbers that I can't comprehend. I mean good on him but stop being a grumpy jerk. It's like living with two of me at the moment and that's not cool man. I'm the grumpy one, there's no room for more!<br />
<br />
We had two bloody birthday parties this weekend. After yesterday I said I was only taking one child to the next one as I may have murdered people. Or Juffin would have to come. Of course Molly was sleeping so guess who got to take the child to the birthday party? I can count on one hand how many fucking birthday parties that man has been to in his son's life. Ugh.<br />
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<br />
I hit my 21st day of my 30 mins for 30 days today and I swear I've never stuck to a fitness plan for this long in my entire life. 3 whole weeks. I don't even know who I am! I missed the hill this morning due to Miss Molly's disruptive bullshit but still managed to get my stretch/yoga session in this evening so obviously I'm the healthiest, most dedicated fit model to ever walk the planet.<br />
<br />
Jokes.<br />
<br />
Obvi.<br />
<br />
But fuck I am good for doing 3 weeks without missing a damn day.<br />
<br />
I feel like rewarding myself with a new pair of tights.<br />
<br />
In a smaller size.<br />
<br />
Boom.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-73180993305297271892018-03-18T22:29:00.001+10:002018-03-18T22:35:00.411+10:00Week Eleven I don't know how I and the children survive the week. For some reason, I struggled to keep my temper and lost my shit a number of times.<br />
<br />
At one point I called my son an idiot. I felt really bad about it until he pushed his sister over and shouted in my face that he wouldn't put. HIS. SHOES. ON!!!<br />
<br />
Everything runs smoothly until it's time to put shoes on. Then everything falls apart.<br />
<br />
I probably said for fuck's sake about 7964 times.<br />
<br />
On Tuesday.<br />
<br />
Mother of the Year over here.<br />
<br />
I don't feel very good about it. Believe me. I wish I didn't shout and yell and scream. I really wish calling my kids names didn't happen. The words just come out of my mouth I'm trying. I really am. I'm just not patient, or loving, and my tolerance for constant whingeing and bullshit is really low.<br />
<br />
Not an excuse. I know.<br />
<br />
And yes. I apologised to him. He said it was ok. I hope he doesn't become a serial killer now.<br />
<br />
So I have the big one talking back and pressing all my buttons and the little one throwing tantrums, crying and whingeing from dawn to dusk. Her favourite saying at present is NO WAY and 'What you doing Mum? What you doing? Mum. What you doing?' Repeat ad nauseam for 17 hours a day.<br />
<br />
Interspersed with crying.<br />
<br />
They were sent here to destroy me. I swear.<br />
<br />
Hopefully I don't fuck them up too much!<br />
<br />
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-53606534094721179392018-03-11T21:21:00.000+10:002018-03-11T21:21:15.037+10:00Week TenIt's the 11th of March already! That means in a mere month my baby girl turns 2.<br />
<br />
Disorganised much? <br />
<br />
I've decided to bite the bullet and buy her a pram and a baby because it's all she really loves to play with. I don't know why I have a problem with it, I just do. But I have to get over it because everything is bubba, even poor Batman, so let's just give the girl what she wants!<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-IAyaaHvcq-xwKTlGOdkiQE4Q6WpphlgSZx2FaLTWfOgYa5UNKWSxjmYi5PHZCHWhl2ac8G8HxoAYK6ZYggg5bU_VHEsbe9QdkB0bgbsvQLGfCcI5foR5-m-3od_mbcI0Mm5Du9ugWE0/s1600/20180311_113503.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-IAyaaHvcq-xwKTlGOdkiQE4Q6WpphlgSZx2FaLTWfOgYa5UNKWSxjmYi5PHZCHWhl2ac8G8HxoAYK6ZYggg5bU_VHEsbe9QdkB0bgbsvQLGfCcI5foR5-m-3od_mbcI0Mm5Du9ugWE0/s200/20180311_113503.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My do poo's Mummy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I had my heart set on a timber pram but they're so expensive so I'll see how my online shopping goes. Anyone with the hot tips, hit me up! <br />
<br />
We've started being a bit more pro-active with the toilet training now that we've over our upset tummy from last week.<br />
<br />
She is really keen on the potty but does need some encouragement of the sugared variety.<br />
<br />
Lollies have been working a treat.<br />
<br />
Yes. I'm that parent.<br />
<br />
School has really ramped up the ever increasing passage of time.<br />
<br />
We're going into week 8 next week, have to pick times for Teacher Parent interviews, school photos and Mushroom is writing actual words on paper and reading things. <br />
<br />
Like really. Today he's been drawing ghosts on everything and running around 'scaring' people. He then wrote 'gost' on a piece of paper because he just sounded it out and he "just worked it out Mum". <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj23IZZpk_MU-3u-g6FUw2s6FO31j2yX5-f1fyIXPjaSSb-MLRS-okVjLZf4H_JZZ4037B94K7z9JHj3g1_PB7ZtVjxxohScumunCKXqrJHboBjb_AbzaUSn4B1SipgbxWKAoTcj9Bshps/s1600/20180311_210735.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj23IZZpk_MU-3u-g6FUw2s6FO31j2yX5-f1fyIXPjaSSb-MLRS-okVjLZf4H_JZZ4037B94K7z9JHj3g1_PB7ZtVjxxohScumunCKXqrJHboBjb_AbzaUSn4B1SipgbxWKAoTcj9Bshps/s200/20180311_210735.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Genius</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I was, and am, equal parts flabbergasted and chuffed.<br />
<br />
He's clearly a genius.<br />
<br />
Later on I told him all about the silent h and showed him how to spell ghost properly but he was so excited and proud and quickly rewrote it so it was right. <br />
<br />
Proud Mama right here. <br />
<br />
Mushroom also had his first school disco. I'm not sure I was prepared for the level of screaming that I was privy too, nor the headless chicken running around that they all did, but it was hilarious and fun and I got to meet Mushroom's little friend's mum. Who seems really lovely. And normal. <br />
<br />
Bit disappointing really. <br />
<br />
Hahah. Just kidding! It's great that Max has made such a nice little mate. It was my worst fear that he would be unhappy and have no-one to talk to. <br />
<br />
Unfortunately they're going away for school holidays so no play dates there, but hopefully Juffin will find things for them to do. He's taking some holidays so I don't have to.<br />
<br />
The disco was hilarious and I almost got out of there without having to buy one of those stupid light up noisy toys but alas 10 minutes before home time he found out that they were selling them at the tuckshop and I couldn't say no because I'm a sucker. <br />
<br />
Work has been quite trying this week. It always is at this time of year. Health insurance goes up and people get angry. I get it. I'm angry too. I have it and wonder, just like you, what the point is, but what's the alternative? I waited for 18 months to have a hernia repair. Which was probably minor to start with but ended up being major surgery and I had to have 6 weeks off work. I couldn't drive. I couldn't pick up my kids. I couldn't do the bloody washing. My Mum had to come and help and it was actually a blessing that Juffin wasn't working at the time otherwise we would have been screwed. <br />
<br />
I mean I had a fucking drain in my guts for 4 weeks. Talk about nightmare. If we'd had the money, I would have had that damn operation privately whilst I was still on maternity leave. And therein lies the problem, the Medicare Scheduled Fee is too low and the Dr's charge heaps more and unfortunately the person left paying that gap is the patient. It sucks. I wish I knew what the answer is, but I don't. <br />
<br />
I guess what I'm trying to say is that just because we work in the industry, doesn't mean we don't understand what you're going through. Our premium is going up too. Not our wage. Those wait times at the public hospital are not made up or fear mongering, they're long. It's fact. If you are calling to compare, then have some info ready so the people on the other end of the phone can assist you. Like the name of your cover, the cost, the rebate level you're on, the things that you're interested in being covered for. All this info helps out that person immensely. You have no idea!<br />
<br />
Juffin started back at uni this week. He's been buying text books and whingeing about our shitty internet for a week now. Only 11 more to go! <br />
<br />
Lols<br />
<br />
I started a 30 mins for 30 days workout challenge that I found on youtube and tonight made 7 days straight! I did the hill this morning but the video for today was just a stretch/yoga session. It was the perfect end to a hectic week and made me realise how inflexible I am! With practice I'll get there. I am 36 after all. Bonus is that now I can actually see the difference in my body and am keener than ever to get fitter, stronger and healthier! Hooray for feeling good about myself and finally looking after my poor, neglected temple.<br />
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-27052083311965732792018-03-04T21:10:00.001+10:002018-03-04T22:21:05.772+10:00Week Nine Ahh gastro. How I loathe thee!<br />
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Mum friends and I have talked about what we'd prefer in terms of shit or spew and I can tell you hands down, that I'd prefer shit any day.<br />
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I know.<br />
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What kind of fucking things do you and your mates talk about Jess?! But seriously, when you're a mother of small children, this shit comes up.<br />
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Literally.<br />
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Hah.<br />
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This week nearly made me change my mind. Thank goodness we only had the back end going and not the top as well. That would have been a special kind of hell.<br />
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Poor Miss Molly lost the bet and ended up with a pretty upset stomach. I got a phone call on Monday from the daycare asking if they could administer paracetamol, of course, no problem. Didn't hear again. Upon pickup she was crying because she'd just done a poo and wanted it changed. She's getting to that age. Yes, we are attempting to toilet train, no, it is not going well.<br />
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When they popped her up on the table to change, dear GOD! THE POO! It was like a mudslide in there. DisGUSTING. We were all gagging. I was looking around fanning my face thinking, fuck me child, what did I put in your damn lunchbox?! They put it down to the paracetamol but pretty sure paracetamol has never made anyone shit like that in the history of its existence.<br />
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What followed was a pretty shitty night.<br />
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Pun intended.<br />
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We went through nappy, after nappy, after nappy.<br />
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To coincide with this awesome event, it had actually decided to start raining here after years upon years of a pretty serious drought.<br />
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I know. <br />
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Stellar. <br />
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Not particularly good timing when your child has gastro and you use cloth nappies. Literally the definition of FML.<br />
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So we're elbows deep in shit nappies, it won't stop raining, Molly's fucking miserable, and I have no dryer... you know what happened don't you? This cloth nappy Mama had to buy disposable nappies.<br />
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Tuesday night was even worse. There was shit in the bed FFS. We went through six nappies that night, and two sets of sheets.<br />
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I shit you not.<br />
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Are we over the puns yet? L O L S!<br />
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Juffin took one for the team and took carers leave. He gets that now. <br />
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He took Molly to the Doctor, washed the nappies, bought the disposables (like I could be seen buying nappies!) and changed and cleaned the river of crap that was my daughters bum hole.<br />
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Poor girl.<br />
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Poor Juffin.<br />
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I went to work. Woo!<br />
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Thankfully Molly was the only one who was affected.<br />
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There is a God.<br />
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This post is long enough already, but to keep myself accountable, I'll be honest and let you know that I've well and truly fallen off the health and well-being wagon. I got my period yesterday and I spent the week prior eating shit and feeling sorry for myself because I knew it was coming. That and I celebrated my 10 year anniversary at work and realised that I have achieved very little in that time... real talk!<br />
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BUT my period and feelings of inadequacy should not be a reason to reach for the nearest deep fried food stuff!<br />
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Menstruation is not a reason to fill my emptying uterus with chocolate!<br />
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Begin shame cycle....<br />
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I know that beating myself up about it is pointless and counter productive and dwelling on it will not fix anything BUT THIS IS WHY I AM THE WAY I AM!<br />
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So I'm choosing to keep going, instead of giving up like I usually do. I had a bad week. I ate some crap. I got a migraine and I couldn't do my hill walk today and I felt awful that I let my friend down but I also felt bad for missing it! I can totally do this because it's about making my life healthier, and being a good example for my kids.<br />
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Bring it.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5iye9mnhFYvFNenT05FzTR3hoVPEu8uUmZTQZ9SIKB4NAcchVvejgLQqICVrexU1JDL_k8L73pCdytLHYoKc9dGYYIIF2V6RbPj_mBWH0uev1UaBDEMa1PYfO8oiXbBfdDAnEF9BGSrc/s1600/20180228_165307.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5iye9mnhFYvFNenT05FzTR3hoVPEu8uUmZTQZ9SIKB4NAcchVvejgLQqICVrexU1JDL_k8L73pCdytLHYoKc9dGYYIIF2V6RbPj_mBWH0uev1UaBDEMa1PYfO8oiXbBfdDAnEF9BGSrc/s320/20180228_165307.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hooray for rain!!</td></tr>
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-74940313605618439982018-02-25T22:28:00.000+10:002018-02-25T22:28:00.085+10:00Week EightI've become Queen of the Lunchbox. <div>
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I've always been awesome at lunchboxes, but seriously, the amount of people who contact me for lunchbox ideas... </div>
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I don't think what I do is that hard, but I'm pretty serious about two things, budget and unnecessary packaging. Our oceans are full of shit and we put it there because we love wrapping things in mountains of fucking plastic. </div>
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Don't even get me started. </div>
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Anyway, I have reusable containers, sandwich wrappers and a can-do attitude. I usually do a big bake up on Sunday for the week.</div>
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Some of our favourite lunchbox fillers include: </div>
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Corn Cobs</div>
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Banana Choc Chip Muffins</div>
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Zucchini Slice</div>
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Pizza</div>
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Cheese and Salami</div>
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Crackers </div>
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Sausage Rolls</div>
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Carrot Sticks </div>
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Mini Croissants</div>
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And this week we added sushi to the repertoire! Mushroom is STOKED! They weren't eating sandwiches so I asked him what he wanted and he said sushi. After watching a youtube video, I became a total expert. </div>
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As you can see, I'm awesome and pretty much the best Mum ever.</div>
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Molly has continued to be a pain in the arse at bedtime, asking for more cuddles, drinks of water, medsen (medicine) as she's 'sick'. Anything you can think of, she tries it. Juffin falls for her bullshit every time of course, but he can usually manage to settle her whereas I get frustrated AF and start yelling, only exacerbating the situation. At least I can recognise my failings. I may Queen of Lunchbox but I'm definitely not winning any awards in the patience department. </div>
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It's been raining on and off here for almost a week which is fabulous but hell for a cloth nappy mama with no dryer. We've strung laundry up all over the place but it's so humid, things are not getting properly dry, especially my nappies. There was a break this morning and we managed to get some sheets and towels dry but rain started again around lunchtime so we had to make a mad dash back under the cover. </div>
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I went out last night for a mate's birthday and had a fabulous time. I love the margaritas. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gorgeous</td></tr>
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Clearly I was looking beautiful and behaved like a lady. </div>
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I assumed I'd have a hangover this morning. I mean look at it. But I dodged the proverbial bullet. Sometimes I'm arsey like that. Those times are few and far between now that I'm on the wrong side of 35.</div>
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I ran into my beloved hairdresser who is currently enjoying mat leave and not doing hair at all. Which is why mine looks so amazing at the moment. I may have tackled her to the ground and held her and her baby hostage until she agreed to do my hair. </div>
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Just kidding. </div>
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I did think about it though. </div>
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<br />I freaking love my hairdresser. </div>
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She messaged me that night and we're on for March. I'm so freaking excited, I can barely contain my shit. </div>
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I had a week off from exercise and food tracking after another week of not losing. I'm annoyed that I let the weightloss plateau get to me so much. I know it's normal, I know that movement on the scales isn't a true indication of how my body is changing. I know that my clothes fit better, people have noticed, I can see it in my face. I just let my head get munted. I had to give myself a break. </div>
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And a crunchie. </div>
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I bought myself a new sports bra and tomorrow, I'm back on the horse. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BOOOBBBS<br /></td></tr>
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I had a conference call with some school buds and we locked down the details for our TWENTY year highschool reunion. Yes my friends, TWENTY FUCKING YEARS! I am so AGED! One of our school mates said he couldn't make it because it's his daughter's 18th that weekend. I mean, Jesus! I'm actually old enough to have an 18 year old child! </div>
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I have no idea where those 20 years went but I am clearly exceeding expectations. I'm fat, broke and still not famous but I don't think I've ever been this happy. My kids are healthy, my man is lovely, I have great friends, a good job, my Mum and Dad are fab and my siblings are kicking goals all over the show. </div>
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Life is good. </div>
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81575635508857588.post-22866137724261022172018-02-18T16:08:00.000+10:002018-02-18T16:08:00.854+10:00Week SevenIt's been hotter than the ninth realm of hell here this week.<br />
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Like apocalyptically hot.<br />
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I've been doing my evening workouts after 9pm because in the afternoon it's still over 30c and I can't seem to get my butt out of bed before 6 on a weekday.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr8UU5gG8rN_YSEsbWzlZuBpnqBwDii9x6mr0cucBt4CbatzVdPY-sfQ6Ow0UcH3XTSdh4h3j4SDUbVWF9DZrJrJ_a75cdIsH2rlyWol6k-FbebJrGv7KqTESr-cXrQIHh7pTN-COcI-g/s1600/20180217_132444.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr8UU5gG8rN_YSEsbWzlZuBpnqBwDii9x6mr0cucBt4CbatzVdPY-sfQ6Ow0UcH3XTSdh4h3j4SDUbVWF9DZrJrJ_a75cdIsH2rlyWol6k-FbebJrGv7KqTESr-cXrQIHh7pTN-COcI-g/s200/20180217_132444.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Inside crafting activity-facial hair<br /></td></tr>
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When it's this hot, life is infinitely harder and whilst I love taking my kids outside and getting to the park etc, it feels like actual torture. So we've been cooped up inside watching movies, playing with playdough and drawing.<br />
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Suddenly my kids love drawing.<br />
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It's really bizarre. <br />
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I bought them both some cheap scrapbooks from Kmart and they've filled the pages with all sorts of pictures. Molly's don't have much form, big circles and squiggles but Mushroom has been drawing people, objects and lots of different animals. This week for show and tell they had to draw an animal and explain what it needs to survive. He drew a lobster. <br />
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For real.<br />
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This is it.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Masterpiece </td></tr>
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Did you know that lobsters have teeth but they're inside their stomach? Fuck. Neither did I. I had to do some research re lobsters because other than being a crustacean I had no fucking idea. <br />
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Having a child at school is teaching me things.<br />
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He seems to be loving school now, though it can be a bit boring Mum, so hopefully the love affair continues.... bahahaha. Is anything in parenting stable? <br />
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Also on school, who's kid is in the yellow house? <br />
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Seriously.<br />
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The yellow house should be banned from being a house colour at schools. They should only have dark colours. <br />
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Purple, black, blue, green, red.. these are fine. Yellow? No fucking way.<br />
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You should see the state of his shirt and he's only worn it 4 times. It's absolutely impossible to keep a yellow shirt on a five year old clean.<br />
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He wears this shirt once a week and look at it.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguKSeOUEhRYVZTSzWkmpa75UUV8_LwLy0AYBr4Atby0dioDbEXzaJxXZRVl1_vPqd4QSUfOSJ4xmu7hvzyQzDkxi0N4_JeKqskEn8Z0anxqQGRgnxKwxHRbR33MIX0gf3-SjEKYNkDyc0/s1600/20180218_153231.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguKSeOUEhRYVZTSzWkmpa75UUV8_LwLy0AYBr4Atby0dioDbEXzaJxXZRVl1_vPqd4QSUfOSJ4xmu7hvzyQzDkxi0N4_JeKqskEn8Z0anxqQGRgnxKwxHRbR33MIX0gf3-SjEKYNkDyc0/s320/20180218_153231.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Ban Yellow House!</td></tr>
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Just LOOK! <br />
<br />
I soak this fucking thing in napisan, spot treat it and it still looks like this! I'm not letting him wear it anymore. I know that it's cooler than the polo but legit looks like he just rolled around in dirt in it and that's straight out of the washing machine. <br />
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And don't even get me started on the white socks! O M G!<br />
<br />
What do they do? Roll their ankles around in the mud?! <br />
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I changed up our menu at home a bit this week and made mongolian beef, which everyone gobbled. It's nice when you don't get I don't like it, this is yuck Mum, after you slave away for 40 minutes trying to find something that four different people might enjoy eating, that isn't pasta. <br />
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I also tried changing up the lunchbox snacks and made apple muffins last week and that's been a big fat fail. Everyone enjoyed them warm from the oven but nobody seemed fussed in the lunchbox so guess what, banana fucking muffins it is! <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNTp41YVmVtId8Uxk7MEPruqnJ0i79T2O8LYPlrAVUCZN2by6O1FqsQdFF1uOpEzofqNRqKo-GDMXfcUXiSdr4GxPwcA-_EAArhG1xKS3V1uItIDKRNProD4YUwJlF6iDBhJXp5rhLz0I/s1600/20180213_112903.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNTp41YVmVtId8Uxk7MEPruqnJ0i79T2O8LYPlrAVUCZN2by6O1FqsQdFF1uOpEzofqNRqKo-GDMXfcUXiSdr4GxPwcA-_EAArhG1xKS3V1uItIDKRNProD4YUwJlF6iDBhJXp5rhLz0I/s200/20180213_112903.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Healthy snacks </td></tr>
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I prepped myself some bean dip and some hummus and have kept on track with the snacks this week, although I keep forgetting to buy lettuce or baby spinach so my salads have been a bit light on... hahah. I don't seem to have the capacity for memory anymore and missed an appointment at Specsavers despite receiving a reminder text on my phone the day before.... brain is clearly fried and probably due to my girl child. </div>
<br />
Molly has been all over the place with her night time sleeping the last week or so and I am missing shut-eye desperately. I had to have a nap today. <br />
<br />
Last night was probably the worst night in a while and it didn't help that I went out and got home late and that's when she started. We administered drugs but she took ages to calm and then, of course, the other one woke up so I had to go and deal with him before getting back to bed to spend a restless night listening to her sobbing in her sleep and trying not to roll over on top of her.<br />
<br />
My alarm went off at 4.45am to do the hill and I felt like vomiting but I made myself get up and go. Everyone was sleeping quietly when I left but I teed up some more drugs in case she woke up again.<br />
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I don't cope well with being tired but Juffin, Juffin is a million times worse. He woke up this morning, saw that I was gone and decided to ring me on the hill to yell at me for leaving him all alone to deal with our sick daughter and wouldn't it be nice to get a good night's sleep in the spare bed.... I was flabbergasted. I didn't sleep in the fucking spare bed at all! I settled Mushroom and went back to our bed where I also dozed in and out and got kicked in the guts by the sobbing tiny girl that we made together.<br />
<br />
Funny that men don't remember these things. <br />
<br />
I wish I'd slept in the fucking spare bed.<br />
<br />
I may have said some choice words. <br />
<br />
Ok definitely said some choice words but Jesus. If she was that sick, I wouldn't have done the damn hill. <br />
<br />
I got home and she was still pretty miserable but shovelling banana into her face so I wasn't convinced that she was really that ill. I called house call doctor, apparently he tried but was just on hold for ages... (no fucking comment). I sorted kids out, told cranky guts to go back to bed, and had a shower and a much needed coffee. I then had my smashed avo and feta on sourdough which Molly decided to get in on, and then played dead on the couch whilst the kids watched ABC kids and we waited for the Doctor.<br />
<br />
Doctor finally arrives, checks her over and says there's nothing obviously wrong with her and she's now been napping for nearly 4 hours.<br />
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Tonight is going to be F U N! <br />
<br />
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13920663363131406335noreply@blogger.com0