Hide and Seek

My son is both adorable and awful equally at the same time.

On Friday last week we were playing hide and seek. He loves hide and seek. Who doesn't love hide and seek? I love the look on his face when he's been searching for me for ages and he's starting to get a bit panicky and I jump out and scare the crap out of him. Mummy moment.

Anyway we were playing for ages but we'd run out of good spots so it was getting a bit boring, when I heard Molly wake up. I told him to go and talk to her while I peed quickly. I go to the main bathroom and when I'm finished I walk into my room to find him pushing his NEWBORN sister UNDER MY BED.

He had taken her from the middle of my bed, CARRIED her BY HER SLEEVES, put her on the floor and then using two hands pushed her by the bum under the bed.

My heart nearly stopped.

Mushroom looked at my face and his face fell.

'Its alright Mummy. I was berry gentle, Molly's juss hiding'

I scooped up my daughter, who was perfectly fine, cooing and smiling, flapping her sleeves around and I took a deep breath.

I smiled/grimaced at my son.

'Please darling, don't pick Molly up, she's only very little and if you drop her you could really hurt her.'

'My know that Mummy! She juss wanted to play hiding and seek as well!!'

Dear Lord. Give me strength.

Butter wouldn't melt

And my phone camera has stopped working so I can only take selfies at the moment.  It's ridiculous. 

Rain

Today dawned as a rainy day.

I had an early victory because as we were drifting off to sleep last night I was sure that I smelt rain and I told the Juffin to bring his work clothes in off the line. Of course he refused, so I got an 'I told you so' in before 7am.  I rule. 

My good feeling vibes quickly disappeared when I realised that a rainy day, whilst most welcome because it's a dry and dusty dirt bowl around here, is actually a stay at home parent's worst nightmare. 

Seriously. 

I'm not even kidding. 

I nearly had a mini panic attack.

Monday's are shitful as it is.  Since having Molly the Mushroom, who has been swimming since he was 3 months old, has turned into a complete nightmare during lessons and clings to the side of the pool crying hysterically for 35 minutes.  After several weeks of this bullshiz, I decided to call in sick today as honestly, I just can't deal with that and rain and a newborn. 

So here we are, Stuck inside.  All day.  

Torment level - Expert

This morning I have already had to deal with not wanting to take his 'sleeping jockies' off, waking up his sister, squashing his sisters face because she wasn't looking at him, the sneaky consumption of two bananas because he couldn't wait for five minutes for me to finish breastfeeding, and, my favourite activity, watching a 3.5 year old poo because 'you have to watch me Mummy, did you hear the poo Mummy?  Are you ACTUALLY WATCHING ME MUMMY?'

These are just snippets.  There's also the constant jibber jabber of nonsensical rubbish and the clinging to my arms and legs and then there's his face in my butt.  

Look Mummy!  

Yes, you read that correctly, he sticks his face in my butt. Gross.  

I wonder what this will look like at
the end of the day?! 

In hindsight, calling in sick to swimming was probably a stupid idea, but I'm sick of sitting there stiff as a board with a fake smile pasted on my face whilst the Mushroom screams and cries hysterically disrupting the whole class and setting my already frayed nerves on edge.  At least swimming would have tired him out. 

We're now in his room playing trains whilst I 'work' on the computer.  

I know, I'm a bad mother.  

I am attempting to keep the TV off until at least 1pm but let's face it, it's not looking good. I'm still in my nightie.  Is it too early for wine?