Bed

Foreword - This post is not for the squeasmish. 

I'm writing this post from my sick bed.

Yes, you read that correctly.  Sick bed.

Again.

For goodness sake.

I have been struck down with the dreaded diarrhoea.  Or as Juffin likes to call it, the arse pissing.  Delightful I know, but strangely apt.

Last night I felt fine.  I watched my fave shows, MKR and Downton, and then I went to bed.  Channel Seven has not paid me for this post but they should.  I love MKR and Downton.

I was woken abruptly by the Mushroom crying outside our room trying to get the door open around 1am.  I got up and let him in and baby Beet started jumping around.  I lay on my side for a while as I got crampier in the guts and thought, maybe I just need to fart.

Instantly realised that I definitely didn't need to fart and I made it to the toilet just in time.

Also I should note here that our ensuite toilet is not working at present so I had to dash down the hall to the main toilet.

Heavily pregnant hallway dashing at 1.23am is fun ya'll.

So began my long night as my bowels evacuated themselves in a torrent and, in some sort of sick coincidence, the heavens also opened up and we got buckets of rain.

This morning it was ongoing and I can tell you something, I'm fucking over it.

Hydralite, water and a potato are all that have passed my lips and I still feel twisty and gross.

Weird thing is that on Saturday night I took myself to bed early as I was having stabbing pains in my nether regions and my vjayjay felt like it had been kicked by a mule.

On Sunday morning I felt an overwhelming urge to scrub our ensuite from top to bottom on my
hands and knees with a toothbrush.  In the nude.  As attractive as that imagery is, it's prudent to remember how much I hate cleaning.  Like so much hate.  Is this nesting?  Already?  Because it's way too fucking early for that shit.  (You should see the ensuite though, sparkling!)

24 hours later, it's the diarrhoea.  Bowels spontaneously evacuating themselves can also be a sign of pre-labour.

Now let's not jump to any hasty conclusions, but I am so not ready for this baby.  It cannot in no uncertain terms come out yet.  I still have three weeks of work left and 6.5 whole weeks of baby growing left!  I haven't washed anything!  I haven't put up the hammock or the change table.  I haven't washed the carseat or installed the new one.  I haven't settled on middle names and I am not ready to do this ALL OVER AGAIN!

Also, my midwife is on holidays until Easter.

This baby is staying in there until then.

Can someone please tell the baby that?

I'm freaking out.

Freak out Face

Sleep is everything

I went to pee this morning and I came back to this...

Really?!  Really REALLY?!  Look at all that room!  And you choose to lay on my side hogging my $150 pillow and spread your tiny body the whole way across the bed?

I was re-reading my posts re the Mushroom and his sleeping and I'm proud to say that he's not that bad now.  Of course, now that I've talked about it, it'll all go to shit.  Sleep is everything.

We've worked really hard to get the Mushroom to stay in his bed at night.  What is it with small children and wanting to be near you all the time?  I love that he loves us.  I love that he wants to sleep with us.  I mean he's adorable, however, I do not love his wriggly sweaty head on top of mine all night.  I do not love his bony feet kicking me in my back/bum/face.  I DO not love clinging to the edge of the bed at 3.28am thinking homicidal thoughts.  Sleep is everything.

So if he comes in before 4am, we put him back.  Sorry, correction, I put him back.  I'm the mean one.  I scoop him up and cart 14kg of sweaty toddler down the hallway and plop him back in his bed amid muttered protestations and half-arsed attempts to stay awake.  At first, he would come back in half an hour later.  I just persisted.  My bed is mine.  Sleep is everything.

The Mushroom is so clever that he soon clicked that it was his mother who put him back in his bed.  If he could get in on Daddy's side and not wake up Mummy then he could stay in the bed because Juffin gets out of bed for nothing.  As in nothing at all.  He would literally have to be on fire before he'll get out of bed.  I envy him.

So here we are with a sneaky toddler and Juffin, aka Sleeping Beauty.  Most nights Mushroom sleeps through and sneaks in around 5ish.  This I don't mind.  I also don't mind if he sneaks in earlier on Juffin's side and I have no idea.  Because I'm asleep and sleep is everything.  I just don't want the kicky feet and the sweaty head crush.  Because... say it with me, SLEEP IS EVERYTHING!

I'm already in mourning for when my boy inevitably stops wanting to be close to me as our morning cuddles are so wonderful, Those little hands about my head and that breathy 'it's morning time Mummy' is so gorgeous my poor ol heart can barely take it!  I just wish he would stay still and lay in the correct posish.  I get up to pee and he goes all horizontal and eagle like. I just wanted five more minutes because SLEEP IS EVERYTHING!