Weekly Wrap 17/11

And just like that, it's Friday again.

This week I decided enough was enough and started eating well, exercising and tracking my food. I kept saying that I would start again in the new year, but why?  What's wrong with now?  I could continue to complain about being time poor, tired, and grumpy but there's no point unless I do something about it.

So I did.

It's only been 5 days, but I'm keeping myself honest and accountable.  It's a step in the right direction.

See what I did there?

It should also be recorded that tonight we had homemade pumpkin soup and I didn't eat any bread. That's right.  No bread.  I deserve a fucking medal.  Obviously I've lost 35kg already...

Mushroom and I continue to butt heads as whilst I wouldn't say he is a badly behaved child, I'm struggling to keep my temper when I have to repeat myself 17000 times. And I know that yelling doesn't solve anything but it actually feels like the only time he'll listen!

We had a little chat this afternoon and I apologised for being cranky and yelling and he apologised for not listening, but let's be honest, it'll stay in his brain for 2 seconds and he'll be back to ignoring me again.  I think it's more about not wanting to do what I'm asking him and being totally distracted by everything around him... like his father.  I did tell him that life is mostly just doing things that you don't want to do and he looked at me with his cute little face and said I don't wanna do that life.  I may have been shook.... What is it about 5 years old being so profound?

And yes I just said shook.  Total trendite.

Telling me that I'm wrong... again!

He's also an insufferable know it all which drives me absolutely bonkers.  I have this disorder where I can't just let people be wrong and feel that I have to correct them (sorry Tara!) but Mushroom literally yells at me and argues his totally incorrect point.  I could let it go but clearly I'm right and he's wrong and that will never ever happen in this universe.  I mean honestly, pick your battles Jess, but I just can't seem to let the little turd have the last word.

Obviously we both need to do some work in these areas but he needs to start paying attention and listening so he can set a better example for his sister as she's always copying him.... Speaking of Molly, let's talk about her for a second because at present it's like this:

"OH MY GOD Molly!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Molly has morphed into total toddler terror!!  Mushroom was bad, but I'm pretty sure Molly has him trumped. I don't remember him being this turd-like.  The Santa parade was at Willows yesterday and I just couldn't bring myself to take the kids because trying to deal with her in those crowds was just too much for this Mama to handle!

Her latest MO is getting all the tea towels out of the drawer and draping them over things saying "BANKET" (blanket).  Apparently the coffee table, step stool, and a half eaten apple need a blanket.   I didn't even know that owned that many tea towels!

I have given up tidying after her as she's a bloody tornado.  There are tea towels everywhere.  And lego.  She loves Mushroom's lego, especially the little lego men. She likes taking their hats/helmets/hair off and putting them back on.  Cute but standing on a tiny lego space helmet is not fucking cute, let me tell you.

"Mushroom, can you please pick up all this lego?"
"It wasn't me, it was Molly!"
"I know, but I asked you to do it..." and then I whisper to myself, "as if she's going to clean it up FFS!"

Who could stay mad
at that face? 

Molly has also taken to throwing food all over the floor.  Every. Single. Meal.  We eat outside on the patio alot now because at least the birds will come and clean that up.  I can't even deal.  I find bits of food EVERYWHERE.

"Please stop doing that Molly, please don't throw food on the floor. Food is for eating, if you don't want it, please put it on your plate.  Please Molly, PUHLEASE!"

And then she takes my request, processes it, looks at my face, takes her food, swings her tiny arm and throws that shit on the fucking floor. And then she laughs in my face.

BISH!!!!

She finds Max's markers and draws on the floor, our bed, the chairs, the bloody WALLS (they're washable but so not the fucking point)!

Bedroom carpet - defaced

"Molly, floors are not for drawing.  Walls are not for drawing.  Mummy and Daddy's bed is not for drawing. What do we draw on?"

"Pwaper"

Continues to scribble on pantry cupboard door.

*throws hands in the air*

All she wants to eat at present is cake, strawberries or mango.  I mean, I hear you sista girl, all those things are super delish, but in no way is that a balanced diet.  Of course when I say no she throws herself on the floor and body cries.  You know, the type of crying where your whole body shakes because your life is over.  Because your Mum wouldn't let you eat the second punnet of strawberries that cost her $4.50. I wish I had her problems...

Other news this week, I ordered matching cheesy Christmas outfits for the children, some douche threw a chocolate milk out of the window of his car and it went all over mine, I started researching the possibility of having surgery in Brisbane, Veronica Mars started streaming on Stan today, I finally did the floors but Kmart's mop bucket is total shite, and I have my work Christmas party tomorrow night!  Yeow!

Oh and today marks our 4 year engagement anniversary!  Maybe we'll get married soon!  Can't rush these things....

Sharing a Room

Just yesterday, the Mushroom announced that he'd like to sleep in the same room as his sister Molly so they both won't get scared.

He's currently going through some stuff.  Spiders, mice, darkness... you name it, he's scared of it.  He has a night light, mouse spray, spider spray, constant reassurance from us that there is no need to be scared of anything that is one hundredth of his size... (don't make me do Math, my head hurts) but you know what the rationale of a 4 year old is like...

Now I can count on one hand, how many nights Molly has woken up in the last month at night and I can count on one finger how many nights that Mushroom has slept in his own bed in the last 8 months.

WTF

I am opposed.  Vehemently.

Juffin thinks it's a good idea so we can turn one room into a play room and we can get all the f-ing toys out of the lounge room.

Between you and I, we know that the statement above will never happen.

So let's go through my reasons for not wanting to do this:

Mushroom has a night light
Molly is still in a cot
Mushroom still needs someone to sit with him when he goes to bed (Yes.  It's fucking ridicuolous.  Don't even get me started!)
Molly is a light sleeper
Mushroom is a nutcase and wakes multiple times at night and creeps into our bed, if we take him back he becomes hysterical and WILL wake another child who would be SOUNDLY SLEEPING in the same room
Molly is a fantastic sleeper and I literally cannot cope with one child in my bed let alone two.  I'm too fat.

Now I don't care that they're opposite sex, they're kids.  I think it's sweet that he wants to share a room with her.  I just don't think that my girl will enjoy having a room-mate.  She's a very independent little thing and I think she likes her own space. She is still breastfed before bed and literally says, nigh night Mummy when we put her down and she rolls over and goes to sleep.

Oh if the first born would do that!  We'd be in HEAVEN!

I guess we could trial it and if it's shit, go back, but will that stuff the good sleeper up forever?  I like my three hours of unbroken sleep!  I need it!!

What's your advice fellow parents?  What would you do?

Their hair is almost exactly the same colour!  

Snark

Today the Mushroom told his Grandmother to 'shut her water hole'.

When she asked him what that meant he said, STOP TALKING.

Seriously.  That actually happened. I got a text message with the above and nearly spat out my drink.

I felt like I had to defend myself and reiterate that I have never said, shut your water hole, in my entire life.  But she blamed other kids anyway.  She really thought it was me though, I know.

She took some Lego off him as punishment but she was floored.  I think she believes that I make up his bad behaviour.  Like I'm exaggerating because it makes for a funny story.  He's literally never misbehaved for her before in almost 4 years of her looking after him so it's well overdue.

When I called her son to tell him what our delightful child had said to his Mother he cracked up and we both laughed for about 3 minutes.

Shut your water hole.

Honestly, you can't make this shit up.

Gold.

Phonecall

Apologies in advance, this blog is quickly turning into a bit of a downer!  Yesterday I got a call from kindy telling me that the Mushroom had high temps so should probably go and get him. It was 2pm.

Because I'm a bad mother my first thought was fuck, I haven't done the floors yet.

Yep, I'm a bad mother.  My son is sick and I'm worried about the floors.  Let me just explain, I wait to do the floors when  Mushroom is at daycare or the MIL's so they at least stay clean for a couple of hours.  Have you seen what kids do to your house?  Your floors?  It's a trail of destruction.  There's food, toys, objects that cannot be identified... I usually do them first thing in the morning but I was fighting with my daughter to get her to go to sleep and it just didn't happen.

Remember my daughter? The one who used to sleep really well.  Ugh, you know the story, babies like to keep you on your toes.

I call Juffin and tell him I have to pick up the little one due to high temps.  We're both baffled as he seemed fine in the morning.  I'm still thinking about my floors when I get to the kindy 10 minutes later.  And there he is, my first born, curled up on the mat in the foetal position.

My heart.

His little face is tear stained and he's clearly very unhappy.  When I reach down to cuddle him, he's so hot to touch that I gasp.  And he just wants me to pick him up.  But I can't because I'm holding my daughter.

My heart.

I decide to put my daughter on the ground and I cuddle my son.  We get his bag and he wraps himself around my legs and we limp out of there.

At home he cries.  A lot.  I administer paracetamol and a lemonade iceblock.  He curls up on the couch and shudders.  He won't drink, he won't get in the shower.  His temp doesn't move.  I make him drink some hydrolite by telling him it's juice.  He'll always drink juice.  I attempt to pu the baby down for a sleep but she laughs in my face, sleep!  Who needs it?!  I tell Mushroom it's ok if he does want to have a sleep but he says he feels too sick.

The boy wants constant cuddles, the baby wants boob.  I'm dealing with a clingy sick preschooler and an overtired maniac of a baby.

Thankfully Juffin gets home relatively early and right on cue there is spew.  I can't deal with spew.

He puts Mushroom in the shower to rinse off and I clean up.  Please God, I pray, please let there be no more spew.

I put the TV on and we have cuddles on the couch.  Juffin has an optical appointment.  I am mad but try not to show it.  Of all nights, honestly.  I try to feed Molly and cuddle Mushroom but it's not working.  I jump in the shower with Molly and start the process of putting her to bed.  Max is in his pjs and he's ready but wants to wait for Dad. We administer more drugs to try and bring his temp down as he's still burning up.  He says his head hurts inside his noggin.

I am worried.  His temperature doesn't seem to be moving and I don't know what to do.  I'm bracing for an emergency room dash and keep thinking we're in for a big night.  For once, luck is on our side, and we get off relatively scott free.  Mushroom woke around 3.30am with temperatures still soaring but on wake up this morning he is fine!  He's eating, he's laughing, his temperature is fine.... Seriously, WTF?  What's with kids and their mysterious illnesses that just appear and then disappear just as quickly?!

Last night it took 2 hours to get my daughter to sleep.  She had had 20 minutes sleep from 2pm to 8pm.  Seriously.  That's fucked. This morning she's had 20 minutes from 7.30 to 12.30.  Again. Fucked.  At least she's not crying.

She thinks she can crawl already which is probably why she can't sleep.  Too many things going on in her little brain.

Slow down baby girl.

And just because it's been a week since I finished my antibiotics, left boob is sore again.  So you know, time for another Doctor's visit.

I promise the next post will be more positive.  Hopefully I'll find a million dollars in a shoebox buried in the backyard and all my problems will be solved!

/All smiles this morning

Four

This post is a bit of an update post because my daughter is already four months old.  Four whole months!

Huh?!  Four Months!!  

Even worse, the Mushroom is turning four in October. That's four YEARS old!!

It seems ridiculous.  Unfathomable even.  Time is literally evaporating in front of my face and my kids just keep getting bigger.

Molly moved into her own room over the weekend.  Unlike the Mushroom, there was no decision made.  There was no discussion, no umming and ahhing.  I just put her in there for day sleeps to see how she went and when that was successful, decided to pop her down in there one night and that was that.  She's gone from two wake ups to one.

I haven't taken the hammock down yet.  That seems too final.

Unlike Mushroom, I am not keeping track of the time as closely.  I think little Miss is 19 weeks tomorrow.

Molly has started rolling.  When she can be bothered. And loves laying in the middle of the lounge room, nappy less, kicking herself around so she can see what her brother is doing.  You know, pushing up with her legs and wiggling along on her back.  She's pretty fast too.

She likes chewing her fingers, her rubber fish, blankets, Mummy's clothes.... She drools a lot but there's no sign of any teeth just yet.

Sleeping is hit and miss.  We swing from 3 hour day sleeps to 40 minute power naps, and there's no rhyme or reason with how the day will go. We have learnt to just go with it.  You may remember some stress on my part regarding sleep with my son and while I worry that she's not getting enough sleep sometimes, she's  generally a very happy little girl.  Ahh the lessons I have learnt!

We have lots of smiling but still no laughter.  Juffin, Mushroom and I are trying our very hardest but all we can muster is a squeak.  She's very, very close!

Unfortunately for Juffin, I think Molly is going to be just as chatty as Mushroom and myself.  If I leave her line of sight there is major attitudal squawking, and as soon as I return, big cheeky smiles.  She burbles and gurgles to herself non-stop and loves yakking away with Mushroom who likes telling her big bullshit stories.

No idea where he gets that trait from...

We haven't started solids yet and probably won't for another month or so. We did baby led weaning with the Mushroom and I'd like Molly to be able to support herself sitting before we try real food. She seems very interested in dinner time and we make sure she is right next to us so she can see what's going on.

I'm still breastfeeding exclusively and we haven't tried a bottle yet.  Stupid I know but it felt like there was plenty of time to try and now we've entered the 'fuck it's going to be a shit fight' stage so too hard basket.  I know that she'll take one if she's really hungry... We've also been too broke to go anywhere anyway so really no need to attempt bottle feeding, hah!

At her four month check up last week Miss Molly weighed in at 5.25kg, and measured 58cm in length.  Only 100cm more and she'll be as tall as me!  We're still in 000 for clothes but not sure we will be for much longer, especially over her cloth nappy bum.  Can you say teletubby?!

So here we are, two kids, both in bed sound asleep, me in bed, not far from sleep, a kitchen which needs cleaning and a partner who's focused on his maths homework...

Sidenote; Juffin commenced university study a while ago and is fucking killing it.  I'm so proud of him.  He's the bees knees when it comes to maths and science!

This guy!  Heart eyes!

Anyway, I knew that life would change going from one to two kids, but I didn't realise how much.  I thought I would have time to study, to exercise, to play.  But it seems that I don't have much time at all, despite not working.  The endless cycle of cooking, cleaning and washing doesn't seem to stop.  My attempts at exercise have been feeble at best and walking with a 4 year old on a balance bike who likes to stop dead in front of you every 20 seconds is frustrating as fuck!!

Molly's face!

I barely speak to my partner without little ears listening these days and most of the time we end up texting each other during the day so we don't get interrupted, or I try to stay up late so we can have a proper adult conversation.  I know you're supposed to make time for each other for the sake of the relationship but that seems nearly impossible at this point. We're doing okay though, and even though I miss him a little bit, I know that he's working hard for our future.

If I'm not preparing food, I'm cleaning up after the eating of food and then preparing food for the next meal.  I shit you not.

We do cloth nappies, which means there's always washing.  Hanging, taking off the line, folding, putting away... Molly is a bit of a chucker so there's her multiple outfits everyday and my spewy tops.  The other day she spewed on my shirt and because of the angle it wasn't anywhere near my face where I could smell it, so I just didn't bother getting changed.  I wore that spewy shirt for the rest of the afternoon.  That's real life right there.  At least I've trained the Mushroom to put his clothes away now, that's one male in the house who does....

So life is a bit hard of late, and the money thing is stressful.  I worry that I don't play enough with the kids, that I yell at Mushroom too much, that I give in too easily when faced with coffee, chocolate and/or tantrumming three year olds, but I know that we're lucky and that's all that matters.

Where it all started... 

Swimming

Sometimes you have to admit defeat, and today, was one of those times.

Mushroom has been going to swimming lessons since he was 13 weeks old.  That's 3.5 years of swimming lessons, and since having a new sister, he has lost the fucking plot.

I have to force him into his swimming togs, on a Monday morning no-less, whilst he whinges about how he hates swimming and doesn't want to go. I talk it up, how fun swimming is, how Mummy loves it, how the pool is nice and warm (probably full of pee...) And he gets in the car without complaint.  He even jumps out and walks to the lesson without complaint.  It's only when we get poolside, that's when the drama starts.  He hides behind my legs, he cries, he screams, he won't get within a metre of the pool's edge.

Last week I just put him in as I had to go to the toilet and I could hear him screaming from the bathroom.  Cuddle cuddle Mummy, cuddle, CUDDLE!

If I force him to get into the pool he has a complete meltdown.

If I sit on the side of the pool and put him in front of me, meltdown.

If I just walk away and ignore him, bigger meltdown.

My son  has gone from swim school superstar to total shit that no-one wants to deal with.

To be honest the instructors at the swim school have been pretty pathetic about it and I'm left standing by the side of the pool wondering why the fuck I wasted a hundred odd dollars on lessons where my son refuses to get in the bloody water.

This morning I did the whole routine and then thought fuck it, grabbed our shit and walked out.  It was only 9.07.  I was sick of the sympathetic shrugs from instructors and all the other parents looking on as I try to wrangle 15kgs of hysterical boy child and a new baby who should be going down for a nap right on the start of his lesson. Being on the verge of tears and feeling pretty fucking angry every Monday morning is not a great start to my week.

After we'd gotten him out of his semi wet togs and into clothes, I had calmed down enough to ask the front desk to see what we could do, maybe I could get my money back.  

Guess what, no-one had even fucking mentioned that Mushroom was having a hard time!  The booking guy was astonished and asked when this had started.  I said it had been going on for months and he was genuinely surprised.  I tried not to get too annoyed and he gave me a few options for a different day or time.

Now I was sick a few weeks ago with a migraine and Juffin had to stay home, and guess who went to swimming and had a fabulous time?!  Unbelievable!  That's right!  Goes with his Father and has a stellar lesson, smiles all round and Juffin thinks I'm full of it.  So we have booked in for Saturday morning and Juffin and Mushroom can have a Daddy Son swimming date.

We came home and I made a plunger of coffee and a batch of cheese scones, of which Mushroom and I ate too many of, and breathed a sigh of relief.  No more rushing around on a Monday morning and dragging a baby who needs to sleep out of the house and a pre-schooler who hates being there with me.

Please let this be the end of the drama and my son go back to loving the water.  We live in a house with a pool for F's sake.  He has to like swimming.  No if's or but's about it!!

Our day started nicely....

Apology

I just wanted to take this opportunity to apologise to my parents, my siblings, my friends... All the people I lived with, Megan, Sara, Aimee, Ron, Kym.. Have I missed anyone? Oh, and my fiancé, Justin.

Over the last three months I have been subject to non-stop chatter from the Mushroom. I'm talking ENDLESS jibber jabber. Yes, endless. The kid could talk underwater.

As you all know, I can talk. A lot.

So I guess karma really is a thing because dear God. My head hurts.

Here's a video of my son yakking on and on about a crocodile who's about to eat him.

This was after hours of nonsensical rubbish about rockets and 'bloosters'.

Note how I'm laying on the couch totally fricking exhausted.

Ps I know he's super cute but damn, I don't even listen to music anymore, when the baby is asleep sometimes I just lay there on the couch soaking up the silence.

I'm sorry everyone I've shared a home and workspace with. Hopefully your ears have grown back. Mine are currently at 32%.