25 Jun 2018

We Eloped

For those that aren't on my socials, I got married this weekend.  Like I ran away, with my lover, my best friend, my baby daddy, and I married him.

I took this as a sign that we were doing the right thing.

Eloping is kind of a big deal.  Especially in this day and age.

Obviously Juffin and I have been together for a long time.  Ten and half years actually, and we'd been engaged for nearly five.  However, we'd been talking about marriage for nine of those years.

Juffin has been married before. Yes.  He's very old... not.  The first time, he got married young, and it didn't work out and that's what happens sometimes when people are young and in love and reach that point and think fuck it, let's get married.  I'm not saying that it's wrong, it just doesn't work out for some couples and that's ok. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. We talk about it now and he has no regrets.  Neither do I.  We both had to be where we were for things to work out.  Otherwise they wouldn't have.

I digress.

Can you tell that I've had some vinos?  Haha

We'd had numerous discussions about getting married. 

Married in the Daintree with our closest friends and family, booking a whole place out for a weekend. 

What about an 'engagement' party surprise wedding in the backyard? 

Then it was literally going to be visiting the registry office and spending the night at a hotel, but that wasn't an option in Townsville anymore. 

We just liked the idea of eloping... We'd talked and talked and TALKED and nothing came of it.  People stopped asking when we were going to get married.  They just stopped.

And then a few months ago, shit got real.  We'd talked about going to New Zealand, going to Tasmania, going somewhere different, exotic, far away, and then we thought, why?  Why not just go somewhere close, but not too close, and do it?  We had some money, for once, we could afford it.  What part of the world did we love?  Where had we spent amazing times?  Why not just get this shit done?

So we set a date and we started the wheels in motion. 

I looked up how much notice we needed, one month.  I googled celebrants.  I googled accommodation.  I googled my little heart out.

And can I just say here that this is why eloping is hard.


If you want to elope properly, which we sort of did, then you can't talk to anyone!  I'm a sharer, a talker. Keeping this fucking secret was HARD!

We booked a celebrant, we bought our rings, I bought a dress, we ummed and ahhed over locations.

In May we told our parents because we knew that we'd need someone to watch the kids for the weekend and whilst I thought my Dad would be ok if I told him I'd eloped, I'm not sure my Mum would have.  They were so happy to be involved, so excited to keep a secret.  Juffin rang his Mum and Step Dad and again, there was nothing but love. We're so lucky.

I booked accommodation, got my dress altered, kept looking for the perfect shoes.

On that home stretch I may have fibbed a little. I told people that we were going away on our own for a weekend, child-free to a wedding on the Tablelands.

I just didn't tell them that it was ours.

I didn't really talk about it at all as thought my face would give it away.

I told my friend we were going away on her birthday and she laughed and said we should elope. I thought I was going to die but managed to laugh it off.  I thought for sure that she knew what we were up to but she didn't say another word about it.

Juffin bought his suit, we finally locked in on a location, we wrote out vows, I decided to get my hair and makeup done and frantically looked around for someone to do it.

We were a week out and that's when I thought we might actually get away with this, it might actually happen.

I started telling random strangers.  When I managed to find the perfect shoes, I told the lady in the shoe shop that I was eloping on Friday.

When I got my legs waxed on the Tuesday before, I told the random 22 year old that I was getting married on Friday.

On the Wednesday night before we left, my mummy friend asked me where we were going.  I'd been vague, which is unlike me, and said we were going away to a wedding.  She outright asked me if Juffin and I were eloping, to which I just replied with laughing emojis.

I nearly had a panic attack.

I wanted to surprise everyone, yet wanted someone to share it with and Juffin was being a typical male who was like, yeah, it's great, what's the big deal?!


Then it was Thursday and we were leaving and it was actually happening.

We stayed in Cairns on Thursday night.  We met with our celebrant, the amazing Amy @ The Merriment Co Cairns  and had a chat about what we were hoping for, if it was any more casual, we'd probably all be asleep, lols.  Then we went out, had some Pho and saw Solo - A Star Wars Story.

I couldn't marry a man who'd never eaten Pho before.


And then it was Friday. Our wedding day. 

The hair and make up wizard came to our B&B in Cairns and made me look pretty before we left.  Danielle from Cairns Bridal Makeup was so beautiful and professional and amazing.  You can find her here if you need someone in that area...

We left Cairns an hour after we'd hoped, almost 1.30pm, and we'd been hoping to get to our location by 3pm, at this rate it would be almost 5pm!

 Me being me and Juffin being Juffin meant that there were a few hysterics and alot of nonchalant whatever's.

I'll let you guess who was doing what.

And then we got to our treehouse and it was magic.

We got dressed.

We hopped in the car and we drove to the Curtain Fig tree where we met Amy, and we got married.

I cried when Juffin read his vows.

I cried when I read my vows.

I cried so much that snot came out.

I wiped the snot off.

We had dinner in Yungaburra at an amazing restaurant.  Drank too much, ate too much, went back to our treehouse and pretended that we were childless for a few days.

And now that's how we eloped.

Married after ten and half long years.

And we both lived happily ever after.

The end.

17 Jun 2018

Weeks Twenty Two and Twenty Three

Well I didn't even make it halfway through the year before I missed a week.  And not just one week, two! 


I think that when I decided to blog weekly I thought that my life was more interesting.  Turns out, it's really not, and I'm not sure that me whingeing weekly about my life is as exciting as just sharing funny or exciting events on the blog.

Does that just sound like I'm trying to get out of blogging weekly?

Because I am.


Leading up to last weekend Molly and I had some little chats about no longer breastfeeding.  We were still having a bedtime feed, and I know that MANY people have things to say about breastfeeding past a certain age but I don't give a flying fuck.  My child, my business. 

I was going away for my sister's hens weekend in Brisbane and I think that she's too old for bottles, I wasn't going to express and frankly I was sick of it.  Breastfeeding a two year olds is hard work and she was starting to jump around and try and take me with her.  Um no.  Hell no.  So we had a few chats and then I did the bad mother thing and ran away.  For three nights. 

When I had a chat to Juffin about it, he said that she didn't notice.  She didn't ask about it, she didn't even mention it.  She didn't even seem to notice that I was gone. 


I got back on Sunday, bedtime as normal.  As was Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday... When I say normal I mean still a shit fight but absolutely no mention of breast milk.

Then on Thursday, she has an hysterical meltdown because she wants boobie milk.


A week later.

That afternoon, I'd listened to her kindy educator tell me how intelligent and clever she is.  Ummmmm, are we talking about the same child because clearly this girl is a little slow on the uptake.  I mean I get it, I wasn't around so she didn't notice, but I'd been home for over 4 nights!  Unbelievable. 

I was actually feeling sad that she didn't notice, now I just felt bad for taking it away from her.  But I didn't give in.  Because I'm a mean Mummy and breastfeeding two kids for two years each is enough.  And now it's over.  Forever.

Will never have to boob in the car again!

I left my kids for a few days and went to Brisbane.  On my own.  I drank alot, I ate alot, I managed to get my flight home and wasn't in some kind of death state.

The only selfie I took.. who even am I?!

A bad cold ripped through work and because I never get enough sleep, and I'm too busy trying to get everyone else organised, I ended up having a day off work as all the snot and the constant cough finally caught up with me.

Boo to bad health.

I've been very lax in the fitness department and bad habits die hard.  I wish I could say that I'd made mostly good choices but that would be a big fat lie.  I thought I'd be further along my journey by now, but sadly, I'm not.  No-one to blame but myself.

Mushroom has been doing much better at school and though his behaviour isn't exemplary, I love that he's a cheeky shit sometimes.  I'm not supposed to say that am I?  It's hard not to laugh when he's mimicking his father or myself.  The no picking up of toys is actually driving me insane though and today I nearly lost my shit and threw everything in the bin. I have to start enforcing the pack up before you move on to the next thing.  There's stuff everywhere!

Today I said that they could watch a movie, which is rare these days, and they ended up tipping the popcorn all over the damn floor.  So this happened:

I am over cleaning up other people's messes. It's not my job.  And I have to do this for at least 15 more years.  I'm not sure my head won't explode before then.

Can I just throw out all of our stuff?! 

28 May 2018

Week Twenty One

What a hectic week!  

Monday saw me finally admit defeat and I had to come home from work as my voice was barely audible, I couldn't make or take calls because people didn't need to be dealing with that squeak and my head was starting to get fuzzy.  I must have had an addled brain as I still exercised but barely being able to breathe is not cool.  Despite feeling like shit, I still did washing, cooked dinner, made up lunchboxes and generally kept up my usual duties.  

Like Mother's are wont to do. 

On Tuesday Molly and I took my broken glasses back to Specsavers and I was astonished when they said they're still under warranty, AND WILL BE REPLACED FREE OF CHARGE!  The hinge of the arm was broken, I thought they'd replace that, I was happy to pay for it, did not even think my glasses would be replaced.  Win!  We also went to the chemist where I picked up some new lippies for HALF PRICE and onto the park before coming home for a nap. 

Sadly our visit to the park included pee pants, a skinned knee and blood on my new dress and my favourite bangle breaking... after such a great morning, I couldn't help but feel like someone was having a laugh at my expense! 

Wednesday rolled around and Juffin started his descent into sick town as I was still pulling myself out of it.  

Is there anything worse than a sick male? 

Answer:  No. 


I upped my salad game, popped my vitamin c and ignored him. Sometimes you just have to rise above. 

When I opened my eyes on Thursday and squinted at the clock and it said 6.45, I immediately rolled over and punched sicky in the arm.  He swore and jumped out of bed and then proceeded to cough up a lung I told him to call in sick because no customer wants to be confronted with a spluttering, squeaky mess.  Eww.  He was adamant he was going to work but after 10 more minutes of that bullshit he gave in and made the call. 


Then I had to endure getting everyone and myself ready for kindy, school and work whilst he lay around feeling ill. 


Of course, he had to drop me off so he could have Shirley, just in case he needed to go somewhere AS THERE AREN'T TWO OTHER REGISTERED VEHICLES HERE FOR HIM TO USE. 

I made him go to the Doctor.  If you're that ill you can go to the Doctor. 

Friday is Molly and Mummy day and we always go to the fruit shop, get a baby cino, grab a steamed dim sim.... it used to be enjoyable until madam turned into a tantrumming toddler and now I need to bribe with donuts and stickers and she still turns into a nightmare. It's hectic and I can't believe that I actually forgot that this is what they're like at this age.  How could I forget?  It goes on forever too.  Then we got home and she refused to sleep.  Like flat out refused.  I have the builder here repairing the bathroom and I couldn't just leave her in her room to scream. Which I usually do.  Yep, mother of the year. So at 2.30 I gave up and we had something to eat and then went to pick up Mushroom. 

Amazing news!  Mushroom had made it to 'FABULOUS JOB' at school for doing exceptionally well in reading groups!  HUZZAH!  Maybe our hard line at home is working. Either way, stoked!  And glad that I'd thought to buy him a little lego set to put away for these small wins as a reward.  


Our weekend was hectic!  We had another birthday party, housework, washing, I let the kids paint and make a mess, hill on Sunday morning for me and some Daddy time for the kids. 

Over the last few weekends, at breakfast, we've had a very friendly, beaky visitor and this Sunday, he got a whole lot friendlier. 

Can you believe that shit?!  I spoke to a friend who has experience with the feathered folk and she believes that he must have been hand raised, as literally had no qualms jumping on Mushroom's head!  I don't know if he is a boy, but I'm just calling him him.  The kids don't have a name for our friend yet, and I'd just like him to fuck off forever as his beak is way too sharp for my liking and he landed on my head as well and I nearly died, but if he comes back I'll have to be nice to him for the kids sake.... 

After all that excitement, Mushroom was lucky enough to go over to the neighbours place to play for the rest of the day and Juffin took Molly to Bunnings and hung out with her so I could get my bake on and pull out this masterpiece. 


I didn't eat it, but traded it for a new pair of sneakers so feeling pretty comfortable with that exchange. 

If you have something I may want, I may be interested in a trade.. haha!  

Sadly my Sunday didn't end well and I gave in to a borderline migraine and hit the sack at 8.30.  Sometimes you just need to say fuck it and go to sleep and worry about getting shit done the next morning.  

Have a great week everyone!