17 Jun 2018

Weeks Twenty Two and Twenty Three

Well I didn't even make it halfway through the year before I missed a week.  And not just one week, two! 


I think that when I decided to blog weekly I thought that my life was more interesting.  Turns out, it's really not, and I'm not sure that me whingeing weekly about my life is as exciting as just sharing funny or exciting events on the blog.

Does that just sound like I'm trying to get out of blogging weekly?

Because I am.


Leading up to last weekend Molly and I had some little chats about no longer breastfeeding.  We were still having a bedtime feed, and I know that MANY people have things to say about breastfeeding past a certain age but I don't give a flying fuck.  My child, my business. 

I was going away for my sister's hens weekend in Brisbane and I think that she's too old for bottles, I wasn't going to express and frankly I was sick of it.  Breastfeeding a two year olds is hard work and she was starting to jump around and try and take me with her.  Um no.  Hell no.  So we had a few chats and then I did the bad mother thing and ran away.  For three nights. 

When I had a chat to Juffin about it, he said that she didn't notice.  She didn't ask about it, she didn't even mention it.  She didn't even seem to notice that I was gone. 


I got back on Sunday, bedtime as normal.  As was Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday... When I say normal I mean still a shit fight but absolutely no mention of breast milk.

Then on Thursday, she has an hysterical meltdown because she wants boobie milk.


A week later.

That afternoon, I'd listened to her kindy educator tell me how intelligent and clever she is.  Ummmmm, are we talking about the same child because clearly this girl is a little slow on the uptake.  I mean I get it, I wasn't around so she didn't notice, but I'd been home for over 4 nights!  Unbelievable. 

I was actually feeling sad that she didn't notice, now I just felt bad for taking it away from her.  But I didn't give in.  Because I'm a mean Mummy and breastfeeding two kids for two years each is enough.  And now it's over.  Forever.

Will never have to boob in the car again!

I left my kids for a few days and went to Brisbane.  On my own.  I drank alot, I ate alot, I managed to get my flight home and wasn't in some kind of death state.

The only selfie I took.. who even am I?!

A bad cold ripped through work and because I never get enough sleep, and I'm too busy trying to get everyone else organised, I ended up having a day off work as all the snot and the constant cough finally caught up with me.

Boo to bad health.

I've been very lax in the fitness department and bad habits die hard.  I wish I could say that I'd made mostly good choices but that would be a big fat lie.  I thought I'd be further along my journey by now, but sadly, I'm not.  No-one to blame but myself.

Mushroom has been doing much better at school and though his behaviour isn't exemplary, I love that he's a cheeky shit sometimes.  I'm not supposed to say that am I?  It's hard not to laugh when he's mimicking his father or myself.  The no picking up of toys is actually driving me insane though and today I nearly lost my shit and threw everything in the bin. I have to start enforcing the pack up before you move on to the next thing.  There's stuff everywhere!

Today I said that they could watch a movie, which is rare these days, and they ended up tipping the popcorn all over the damn floor.  So this happened:

I am over cleaning up other people's messes. It's not my job.  And I have to do this for at least 15 more years.  I'm not sure my head won't explode before then.

Can I just throw out all of our stuff?! 

28 May 2018

Week Twenty One

What a hectic week!  

Monday saw me finally admit defeat and I had to come home from work as my voice was barely audible, I couldn't make or take calls because people didn't need to be dealing with that squeak and my head was starting to get fuzzy.  I must have had an addled brain as I still exercised but barely being able to breathe is not cool.  Despite feeling like shit, I still did washing, cooked dinner, made up lunchboxes and generally kept up my usual duties.  

Like Mother's are wont to do. 

On Tuesday Molly and I took my broken glasses back to Specsavers and I was astonished when they said they're still under warranty, AND WILL BE REPLACED FREE OF CHARGE!  The hinge of the arm was broken, I thought they'd replace that, I was happy to pay for it, did not even think my glasses would be replaced.  Win!  We also went to the chemist where I picked up some new lippies for HALF PRICE and onto the park before coming home for a nap. 

Sadly our visit to the park included pee pants, a skinned knee and blood on my new dress and my favourite bangle breaking... after such a great morning, I couldn't help but feel like someone was having a laugh at my expense! 

Wednesday rolled around and Juffin started his descent into sick town as I was still pulling myself out of it.  

Is there anything worse than a sick male? 

Answer:  No. 


I upped my salad game, popped my vitamin c and ignored him. Sometimes you just have to rise above. 

When I opened my eyes on Thursday and squinted at the clock and it said 6.45, I immediately rolled over and punched sicky in the arm.  He swore and jumped out of bed and then proceeded to cough up a lung I told him to call in sick because no customer wants to be confronted with a spluttering, squeaky mess.  Eww.  He was adamant he was going to work but after 10 more minutes of that bullshit he gave in and made the call. 


Then I had to endure getting everyone and myself ready for kindy, school and work whilst he lay around feeling ill. 


Of course, he had to drop me off so he could have Shirley, just in case he needed to go somewhere AS THERE AREN'T TWO OTHER REGISTERED VEHICLES HERE FOR HIM TO USE. 

I made him go to the Doctor.  If you're that ill you can go to the Doctor. 

Friday is Molly and Mummy day and we always go to the fruit shop, get a baby cino, grab a steamed dim sim.... it used to be enjoyable until madam turned into a tantrumming toddler and now I need to bribe with donuts and stickers and she still turns into a nightmare. It's hectic and I can't believe that I actually forgot that this is what they're like at this age.  How could I forget?  It goes on forever too.  Then we got home and she refused to sleep.  Like flat out refused.  I have the builder here repairing the bathroom and I couldn't just leave her in her room to scream. Which I usually do.  Yep, mother of the year. So at 2.30 I gave up and we had something to eat and then went to pick up Mushroom. 

Amazing news!  Mushroom had made it to 'FABULOUS JOB' at school for doing exceptionally well in reading groups!  HUZZAH!  Maybe our hard line at home is working. Either way, stoked!  And glad that I'd thought to buy him a little lego set to put away for these small wins as a reward.  


Our weekend was hectic!  We had another birthday party, housework, washing, I let the kids paint and make a mess, hill on Sunday morning for me and some Daddy time for the kids. 

Over the last few weekends, at breakfast, we've had a very friendly, beaky visitor and this Sunday, he got a whole lot friendlier. 

Can you believe that shit?!  I spoke to a friend who has experience with the feathered folk and she believes that he must have been hand raised, as literally had no qualms jumping on Mushroom's head!  I don't know if he is a boy, but I'm just calling him him.  The kids don't have a name for our friend yet, and I'd just like him to fuck off forever as his beak is way too sharp for my liking and he landed on my head as well and I nearly died, but if he comes back I'll have to be nice to him for the kids sake.... 

After all that excitement, Mushroom was lucky enough to go over to the neighbours place to play for the rest of the day and Juffin took Molly to Bunnings and hung out with her so I could get my bake on and pull out this masterpiece. 


I didn't eat it, but traded it for a new pair of sneakers so feeling pretty comfortable with that exchange. 

If you have something I may want, I may be interested in a trade.. haha!  

Sadly my Sunday didn't end well and I gave in to a borderline migraine and hit the sack at 8.30.  Sometimes you just need to say fuck it and go to sleep and worry about getting shit done the next morning.  

Have a great week everyone!  

22 May 2018

Week Twenty

I'm getting later and later with these bloody posts.  First it was Sunday, then it was Monday, and now here I am on Tuesday night thinking shit, I didn't post my blog yet.  I am clearly committed.

Last week marked our second in a row of no TV. 


We stopped turning on the TV.  Even on the weekend.

The kids have actually been fine.  It's beautiful weather here in sunny NQ and they've just been playing outside, drawing, making lego messes and generally entertaining themselves.

To say I'm shocked would be an understatement. 

I thought we'd have major issues and so far, none. 

They did watch a movie on Sunday after we got home after an outing on Sunday
 but compared to the months past, where the TV was on more and more, it's a vast fucking improvement.

BUT what about their behaviour I hear you ask?

WELL Mushroom's teacher did remark that he was very much improved!  There are a few other changes that we've made, sticker charts, removing items for bad behaviour and basically increasing our position re discipline and what's expected of him and it's been pretty good.  Like I don't feel like a shit parent 99% of the time, maybe only 70% now, so woo! 

We've had a few hairy mornings where all the boy's stickers have been removed from the chart and he's had to start from scratch but once he knew that we meant business, he's been much better!  Not sure that the 2 year old understands what is going on but she seems to like putting stickers on the chart and the threat of no stickers has succeeded thus far.  It may be too early to say it's been a total success, I mean let's not count our chickens, but there's been a marked improvement.  This parenting gig is fucking hard work.

This also happened....

Yes!  We got a new car!  Well new for us.  Juffin went to the auction and picked up a bargain.  We're a bit stoked.  It's older, and has more kms than we wanted but it is SCHMICK and it's a vast improvement on my old bomb so huzzah!  And I tell you what the best thing ever is!  Listening to my own tunes and rocking the F out!!  I can STREAM from my phone!  It's amazing!  I can now listen to podcasts on the go and do the bluetooth thing.  Feel like I've been jettisoned into the 21st century and have no idea what any of the buttons do like a proper old person but whatever. 


Molly had her first haircut as well!  It was a big week. I took her to my beautiful hairdresser and she's just the best.  Molly was good for the first 4 minutes and then I had to utilise Peppa Pig via you tube to get it done.  Still has fluffy tentacles but at least they're not hanging in her eyes and hindering her toddler vision, which is shit at the best of times.


Other things of note to record from last week include eating too much at stupid work morning tea (zero self control these days!), starting and finishing book club book, rediscovering my love of dancing in the kitchen, the royal wedding and being really and truly happy for Megs and Harry, mastering the lemonade scone and our first little outing in Shirley the pearly girly! 

How's the serenity?