14 Dec 2017

You GUYS!!

I had my follow up ultrasound on Monday and guess what?! 

My cyst has gone!

It's GONE!

That means no fucking surgery!  WOOOO HOOOO!

My GP said today that ultrasounds are hard to read so cyst may have been run of the mill ordinary variety and resolved itself OR it ruptured and didn't cause me any grief.  I'm not sure that that's entirely accurate but whatever, I'm so happy.  The thought of having another fucking surgery was making me want to curl up and rock in the corner.

I'm now being pro-active and have booked a consult to get checked out for the mirena. Bring on IUD contraception and hopefully minimal issues.

I wish I could say that I freaked out for nothing and that I feel silly but I've been this way for 36 years and that shit ain't about to change now! I live for the melodrama!  Not really, but I'll never stop overthinking things.  It's just me. 

In other news, I have baked up a shedload of Christmas treats and managed to control myself, which is amazing, let me tell you.  I have literally been through 4 dozen eggs in the last fortnight.  My fridge is heaving.  I love feeding the masses. 

The 5 year old has turned into total shitbag and 20 month old just copies whatever her brother does, so also total shitbag.  Threats of no presents and Santa not coming have fallen on deaf ears and I feel like a shithouse Mum as never manage to follow through on threats and bloody kids run rings around me.  Or, in turn, I'm super tough and then their Father just bends straight away.  It's frustrating as all hell.

I'm afraid that after taking 37 mins to ride just under 8km, I have decided that bicycling is so not my thing and I won't be doing it for exercise again unless under extreme duress.  People can fucking run faster than that.  I can only imagine what my wideload arse looked like from behind but I felt like I needed a sign on my back warning people of the slow moving tank up ahead.  Still.  I'm making progress and I wasn't sitting on the couch. Surely that's a win?! 

And despite being a little more organised for Christmas this year, ie kids and Juffin, I'm still not completely sorted gift wise. 

I'm not at all worried..... 

Tomorrow I will attempt to make sour dough, from scratch, for the first time.  I've been feeding my starter daily since Sunday and it's pungent and frothy.  I have no idea what I'm doing but it feels like the holy grail of bread making and pretty sure I'm in way over my head.  I will keep you posted.

I'm making the children wear ridiculous Christmas outfits
24/7 #BestMumEver

1 Dec 2017

Weekly Wrap 1/12

It's December 1st!  Huzzah!

In news this week...

Juffin managed to procure himself a VR playstation headset.  He is now the biggest nerd Earthside. He has stayed up far too late most night's this week waving his arms around the lounge room and yelling enthusiastically for me to come and watch.

I tried it but it made me queasy AF so I'm out.

He looks cool.

Said no-one ever.

I had a pity party earlier in the week but then got over it.  I do that.  I mostly use this blog as a way to vent and it helps me feel better so thank you to those who reached out and sent me some love.  It's so appreciated.

I signed up for the Casserole Club I have to go through a Police Check yet but can hopefully start sharing our meals with some elderly neighbours who need them.  I need to send some good karma out into the world.

Miss Molly continues to be a destructive whirlwind and nothing is safe. There are too many shenanigans to name, but tonight she managed to get into the sudocrem and spread it all over the coffee table.  I was on the phone and Juffin had his back turned for 2 seconds.

She's a menace.

Mushroom was never into shit like she is so we're definitely having to step up our toddler proofing game.

I went and saw Bad Mums 2 (I refuse to write Moms #sorrynotsorry) on Tuesday with some gal pals and ate popcorn and laughed my arse off.  I love laughing raucously in the cinema with abandon.  It's good for the soul.  It was a silly, ridiculous movie, but there was a heart moving moment and like the emotional fool that I am, I shed a tear.  Who can help themselves?  I've always been a wimp in emotional scenes.

I bought the kids some Christmas gear last weekend to wear to kindy over the coming weeks and Mushroom whinged and moaned about having to wear them but then cracked up when they were in the wash and he couldn't wear one!


I'm such a good Mum that I'm yet to capture them both in all in their cheap Christmas glory but we have the Kindy Christmas Party on Monday so I'll flood you with cheesy pics then.

This week I also put my baking hat on and made our Christmas Cake, some choc salted almonds and an Orange Almond Cake for Juffin.  He's complaining that I never bake him anything which is totally untrue, but I had some oranges that were overripe so I thought I'd shut him up.  Honestly, luckiest man alive!

We had a productive day today.  I got the fruit shopping done before 9 this morning, and I got a little bit excited that I was able to buy the bags of lebanese cucumbers again.  Healthy eating has got me consuming those suckers in record time so I was glad to pick them up in bulk for cheaper. It's so good to get in and out of there so early, we missed most of the rush and despite a few meltdowns over strawberries and kiwi fruit, it was mostly pain free. Sometimes the mornings just work.  Not often.  But sometimes.

They were cuddling nicely until I tried
to take a picture...

I got all the washing folded this afternoon whilst Molly was sleeping and have two loads ready to hang tomorrow provided the weather is clear.

I have to hit the shops some time over the weekend and get Mushroom a plain red polo or similar for Monday and get a 5th birthday pres for his mate's party on Sunday.

I've completed my Christmas shopping for Juffin and have to finalise the order for the kids.  Juffin is in charge of getting the Mushroom's big pres and I'm still undecided re Molly's.... but I've never been this organised for Christmas before guys!  It's totally unbelievable!

We put our tree up tonight and Mushroom serenaded us with We Wish You a Merry Christmas over and over again as Spotify wasn't connecting so there were no real carols to listen too.  I suspect that Juffin sabotaged in some way as he hates the carols but I will loudly sing them unaccompanied, so bah humbug to him!

I may have overdid it somewhat....

ANDDDD to make my week I managed to score a bunch of a Tupperware at a fraction of retail price so I can 'Tupper' up my pantry!  I'm so excited!  Modular Mate heaven!!!

Hope everyone had a good week and are all gearing up for a safe and happy holiday season.  Bring on the prawns! 

27 Nov 2017


I just spent 45 minutes crying over my phone because my body is fucking stupid and can't get it's shit together.

On Thursday last week I opened a letter from the Townsville Hospital saying that I have been assessed and placed on a Category 3 Wait List. 

For an appointment. 

Within 365 days.

That's a fucking year.

If I'm then seen for my appointment and they deem, again, that I'm still a category 3, then I will go on a surgery waiting list, and be seen for surgery, within 365 days. 

Another year. 

I could literally be waiting for two years to have this stupid cyst removed, in which time I will suffer ridiculously painful periods, bloating, random painful attacks and increased emotional stress because my body is shit and there's nothing I can do about it.

Best case scenario at this point is that it will probably burst and I'll have to have emergency surgery.  Which is always heaps of fun. 

I had this grand plan.  I thought I could go and see a Doctor in Brisbane and have the treatment privately but after doing some pretty thorough research, it looks like none of the Doctors in Brisbane participate in health fund schemes either so I'm literally screwed.  I may as well stay here and pay the exorbitant fees because at least I'm supporting the local economy right?


I'm so upset and disappointed with myself.  Disappointed with my useless fat body. 

I feel like this could have somehow been avoided, like this is my fault.  That I've brought this on myself for being fat and lazy and it's caused my stupid girl organs to malfunction or something.

Like I'm being punished for 18 years of laziness and poor food choices. 

Does being fat make you more susceptible to ovarian cysts?

Does being fat make your periods painful and awful and heavy?  So much so that your iron is so low and you're exhausted most of the time? 

Is it because I smoked cigarettes for years?

Is it because I binge drank anything and everything all throughout my twenties?

Is it because I lied to my parents when I was a teenager?

Is it because I have an unhealthy addiction to the popcorn?

Juffin has just said that we'll get a loan to cover the gap fees for the procedure and I'll just do it in the new year.  We just don't have a few thousand dollars for emergencies.  We just don't have a few thousand dollars.  This is our reality.

In the meantime, I'll just try not to wallow and dwell on how shit my stupid body is.