23 Aug 2016


This post is a bit of an update post because my daughter is already four months old.  Four whole months!

Huh?!  Four Months!!  

Even worse, the Mushroom is turning four in October. That's four YEARS old!!

It seems ridiculous.  Unfathomable even.  Time is literally evaporating in front of my face and my kids just keep getting bigger.

Molly moved into her own room over the weekend.  Unlike the Mushroom, there was no decision made.  There was no discussion, no umming and ahhing.  I just put her in there for day sleeps to see how she went and when that was successful, decided to pop her down in there one night and that was that.  She's gone from two wake ups to one.

I haven't taken the hammock down yet.  That seems too final.

Unlike Mushroom, I am not keeping track of the time as closely.  I think little Miss is 19 weeks tomorrow.

Molly has started rolling.  When she can be bothered. And loves laying in the middle of the lounge room, nappy less, kicking herself around so she can see what her brother is doing.  You know, pushing up with her legs and wiggling along on her back.  She's pretty fast too.

She likes chewing her fingers, her rubber fish, blankets, Mummy's clothes.... She drools a lot but there's no sign of any teeth just yet.

Sleeping is hit and miss.  We swing from 3 hour day sleeps to 40 minute power naps, and there's no rhyme or reason with how the day will go. We have learnt to just go with it.  You may remember some stress on my part regarding sleep with my son and while I worry that she's not getting enough sleep sometimes, she's  generally a very happy little girl.  Ahh the lessons I have learnt!

We have lots of smiling but still no laughter.  Juffin, Mushroom and I are trying our very hardest but all we can muster is a squeak.  She's very, very close!

Unfortunately for Juffin, I think Molly is going to be just as chatty as Mushroom and myself.  If I leave her line of sight there is major attitudal squawking, and as soon as I return, big cheeky smiles.  She burbles and gurgles to herself non-stop and loves yakking away with Mushroom who likes telling her big bullshit stories.

No idea where he gets that trait from...

We haven't started solids yet and probably won't for another month or so. We did baby led weaning with the Mushroom and I'd like Molly to be able to support herself sitting before we try real food. She seems very interested in dinner time and we make sure she is right next to us so she can see what's going on.

I'm still breastfeeding exclusively and we haven't tried a bottle yet.  Stupid I know but it felt like there was plenty of time to try and now we've entered the 'fuck it's going to be a shit fight' stage so too hard basket.  I know that she'll take one if she's really hungry... We've also been too broke to go anywhere anyway so really no need to attempt bottle feeding, hah!

At her four month check up last week Miss Molly weighed in at 5.25kg, and measured 58cm in length.  Only 100cm more and she'll be as tall as me!  We're still in 000 for clothes but not sure we will be for much longer, especially over her cloth nappy bum.  Can you say teletubby?!

So here we are, two kids, both in bed sound asleep, me in bed, not far from sleep, a kitchen which needs cleaning and a partner who's focused on his maths homework...

Sidenote; Juffin commenced university study a while ago and is fucking killing it.  I'm so proud of him.  He's the bees knees when it comes to maths and science!

This guy!  Heart eyes!
Anyway, I knew that life would change going from one to two kids, but I didn't realise how much.  I thought I would have time to study, to exercise, to play.  But it seems that I don't have much time at all, despite not working.  The endless cycle of cooking, cleaning and washing doesn't seem to stop.  My attempts at exercise have been feeble at best and walking with a 4 year old on a balance bike who likes to stop dead in front of you every 20 seconds is frustrating as fuck!!

Molly's face!
I barely speak to my partner without little ears listening these days and most of the time we end up texting each other during the day so we don't get interrupted, or I try to stay up late so we can have a proper adult conversation.  I know you're supposed to make time for each other for the sake of the relationship but that seems nearly impossible at this point. We're doing okay though, and even though I miss him a little bit, I know that he's working hard for our future.

If I'm not preparing food, I'm cleaning up after the eating of food and then preparing food for the next meal.  I shit you not.

We do cloth nappies, which means there's always washing.  Hanging, taking off the line, folding, putting away... Molly is a bit of a chucker so there's her multiple outfits everyday and my spewy tops.  The other day she spewed on my shirt and because of the angle it wasn't anywhere near my face where I could smell it, so I just didn't bother getting changed.  I wore that spewy shirt for the rest of the afternoon.  That's real life right there.  At least I've trained the Mushroom to put his clothes away now, that's one male in the house who does....

So life is a bit hard of late, and the money thing is stressful.  I worry that I don't play enough with the kids, that I yell at Mushroom too much, that I give in too easily when faced with coffee, chocolate and/or tantrumming three year olds, but I know that we're lucky and that's all that matters.

Where it all started... 

15 Aug 2016


Sometimes you have to admit defeat, and today, was one of those times.

Mushroom has been going to swimming lessons since he was 13 weeks old.  That's 3.5 years of swimming lessons, and since having a new sister, he has lost the fucking plot.

I have to force him into his swimming togs, on a Monday morning no-less, whilst he whinges about how he hates swimming and doesn't want to go. I talk it up, how fun swimming is, how Mummy loves it, how the pool is nice and warm (probably full of pee...) And he gets in the car without complaint.  He even jumps out and walks to the lesson without complaint.  It's only when we get poolside, that's when the drama starts.  He hides behind my legs, he cries, he screams, he won't get within a metre of the pool's edge.

Last week I just put him in as I had to go to the toilet and I could hear him screaming from the bathroom.  Cuddle cuddle Mummy, cuddle, CUDDLE!

If I force him to get into the pool he has a complete meltdown.

If I sit on the side of the pool and put him in front of me, meltdown.

If I just walk away and ignore him, bigger meltdown.

My son  has gone from swim school superstar to total shit that no-one wants to deal with.

To be honest the instructors at the swim school have been pretty pathetic about it and I'm left standing by the side of the pool wondering why the fuck I wasted a hundred odd dollars on lessons where my son refuses to get in the bloody water.

This morning I did the whole routine and then thought fuck it, grabbed our shit and walked out.  It was only 9.07.  I was sick of the sympathetic shrugs from instructors and all the other parents looking on as I try to wrangle 15kgs of hysterical boy child and a new baby who should be going down for a nap right on the start of his lesson. Being on the verge of tears and feeling pretty fucking angry every Monday morning is not a great start to my week.

After we'd gotten him out of his semi wet togs and into clothes, I had calmed down enough to ask the front desk to see what we could do, maybe I could get my money back.  

Guess what, no-one had even fucking mentioned that Mushroom was having a hard time!  The booking guy was astonished and asked when this had started.  I said it had been going on for months and he was genuinely surprised.  I tried not to get too annoyed and he gave me a few options for a different day or time.

Now I was sick a few weeks ago with a migraine and Juffin had to stay home, and guess who went to swimming and had a fabulous time?!  Unbelievable!  That's right!  Goes with his Father and has a stellar lesson, smiles all round and Juffin thinks I'm full of it.  So we have booked in for Saturday morning and Juffin and Mushroom can have a Daddy Son swimming date.

We came home and I made a plunger of coffee and a batch of cheese scones, of which Mushroom and I ate too many of, and breathed a sigh of relief.  No more rushing around on a Monday morning and dragging a baby who needs to sleep out of the house and a pre-schooler who hates being there with me.

Please let this be the end of the drama and my son go back to loving the water.  We live in a house with a pool for F's sake.  He has to like swimming.  No if's or but's about it!!

Our day started nicely....

12 Aug 2016


Every Friday we visit a local park with my two Mum friends and their boys.  I met these women just after having the Mushroom and I now consider these two ladies to be my closest friends.  We've been through so much together on our Motherhood journey and we are still seeing each weekly almost four years on.

When we visit the park we let our kids roam.  We visit gated playgrounds for a reason.  Once we're in the gate, they're off.  They have their bikes, their scooters, sometimes trucks.  We go to the park so they can expel their neverending stores of energy and we sit and drink coffee, sneak pieces of cake and intervene when required.  These boys, never stop, but they can mostly work out their dramas on their own.  If they can't we step in. 

This morning we were chatting away happily and supervising the three youngest who were all on the mat with us.  I had just put Miss Molly in the pram for a sleep when we were approached by an angry woman holding a small boy. 

"Is this child yours?" she asked the group in general. No hello. Just an angry woman eyeballing all of us.  

Mushroom and his gang were lined up next to her looking sheepish. 

I said smiling, "Yes they are. Why what's happened?

"This boy" she said, gesturing angrily to my son, "just pushed my son off the turning thing and he won't say sorry."

Mushroom at least had the good grace to look at the ground. 

"Max, did you push this little boy off the turning thing?"

Mushroom looked at me with a half grin but he could see from my face that this was no laughing matter.  He looked back at the ground. 

Angry Mum is getting really indignant now.  

"He just pushed him off and didn't say sorry.  I know kids are kids but you know, he should say sorry don't you think?" she continued to look at me accusingly.

At this point I'm thinking wow.

"Max," I say, "please say sorry to this little boy.  We don't push our friends, we don't push anyone.  Pushing is not okay." 

He mumbles something into the ground and is looking really dodge but no sorry escapes his lips. 

Angry Mum continues to eyeball me.  I'm standing there in awkward silence.  Is this really happening?  I can feel my friends horror at the situation unfolding.   

Angry Mum shifts her weight from foot to foot, She's not giving up. 

"I think he really needs to say sorry,  He should say sorry.  I know kids are kids but he should say sorry I think.  Don't you think?!"

I start panicking a little. She keeps repeating herself.  This woman is genuinely angry and Mushroom will never fucking say sorry. Especially when he's forced.  He's a total shit.  He's almost four.  I'm wondering how I'm going to deal with Angry Mum who clearly wants some sort of resolution and obviously thinks my parenting skills are severely lacking.  Are we going to have to throw down?  Am I going to get into a confrontation with a woman wearing active wear and thongs in the park?

I look helplessly at my son who looks defiantly back at me.  

I look at Angry Mum, standing there, waiting for me to do something and I'm at a loss. 

In my head the following monologue has started.  Please my headstrong, aggressive, pushing of small children son, PLEASE SAY SORRY so I don't have to deal with this stupidly angry woman and she can go away and leave me in peace.  Bribery, bribery has to work!

I walk over to Mushroom and pick him up.

"Max.  Please apologise."


"Please say sorry. We don't do the pushing.  We don't push our friends.  We don't push anyone."



Angry Mum is still standing there.  I'm wondering what will happen if he won't.  I pull out the big guns.

"If you don't say sorry right now for pushing, I'm packing everything up and we're going home."

He must sense my desperation because he looks over at Angry Mum and mutters "Sowwry" in her general direction. 

It's not much but I'm taking it.  HALLE-fucking-LUJAH.

I turn towards Angry Mum about to speak but she cuts me off.   

"Thank you" she says looking pointedly at me.  "I mean I know that kids are kids, but they have to say sorry if they hurt someone."  And just like that, she stalks off.  

Let's be clear, her son wasn't crying.  There were no injuries to speak of. First Aid was not required.  Ambulances were not called.  I don't know what happened.  I didn't see it, I can only take Angry Mum's word for it and I know that my son is a bit aggressive sometimes.  I mean, he's almost 4, but yes, it's not an excuse.  I'm not saying that my son didn't push her son off the turning thing, (what the f is the turning thing?!) and yes that was a shitty thing to do, but I also know that I would never approach another Mother in the park and make her feel like piece of shit who can't parent her children.  

My friends and I just sat there flabbergasted. 

I've seen kids push my kid over at the park.  I've seen them hit him, I've seen them try and push him over to take his bike.  I've never ONCE gone over to that child and asked them where their Mother is, followed them to the parent and then forced them to make the child apologise. 

I was so embarrassed.  Other Mum's were looking.  I've not been having a very good time of it lately and when you're already questioning your abilities as a parent, something like that only cements those feelings of uselessness.  I just stood there, like a big lump, pushing my daughter back and forth hoping Angry Mum would go away so I could melt into the grass. 

Thank goodness my friends were there with me, otherwise I probably would have packed up and left.  I know I'm not winning any parenting awards but they assured me that I'm not a crappy Mum, because far out, that's how she made me feel!  

Am I overreacting?  

Was that a totally normal thing for a parent to do? 

Is my son really a horrible monster and I'm a terrible mother who just lets him run riot?  

I don't think so, deep down, not really.  My ladies confirmed that I definitely CAN parent my children, that I'm not a crappy Mum, that my son is not an aggressive child beater.  They were astonished that he did actually apologise as generally all of our boys button up like clams if forced and getting them to say anything remotely resembling an apology is an absolute miracle.  Thank goodness!  Mushroom must have been feeling suitably remorseful otherwise what would she have done if he didn't?!  

Molly finally went to sleep so I ate another piece of cake and lay down on the blanket while my friends proceeded to make me feel better about myself and my crappy parenting skills.  

Writing about it now, I don't want to say that Angry Mum was wrong but I think she really went about it the wrong way.  She could have been friendly, instead she was indignant and aggressive. If she'd approached our group, said hello, told me what happened calmly, I would have been able to speak to my son, instil a little discipline and ask him to apologise to the little boy.  

I understand that she may have been angry but her son wasn't crying, he didn't appear hurt in any way, he was just a bit put out as a bigger boy had pushed him out of the way.  

Maybe she was having a bad day. 

Maybe her son gets pushed around a lot at the park and this was the last straw.  

Or maybe she is right and I'm a shitty parent, either way, one things for sure, we won't be visiting THAT park again for a while....

Friday Boys Club