Hangover

On Friday I accidentally got stupidly drunk.

I know what you're thinking, how can a 37 year old woman accidentally get drunk?

Well, she drank lots of wine, didn't eat any dinner and forgot to drink water, soooooo...

I did this at book club.  Not wine club.  Book club.  We don't generally even drink at book club but hey, that didn't stop this dickhead.

My lovely friend gave me a lift so I could have a vino or two, or twelve, but who's counting? It wasn't me! 

I was actually having an amazing time, laughing, sharing, chatting about all the things and I remember thinking to myself, aren't I lucky to have all these wonderful women in my life followed directly by, you need to eat some more food and drink some water Jess. 

Then I woke up fully clothed on my bed at 5am and I thought I was going to die. 

So that was good.

I actually think it was mere moments after having the above thought that I shut my eyes at the table, everyone cottoned on that I was maggoted and my friend carted me home.

Because I can't remember.

The next day I apologised to all the girls and everybody said I was fine.

Thank god.

But fuck, I was not feeling fine.

I was actually ok until I had to move. And move I must.  My kids had a playdate and it had literally been months since we'd seen one friend as they've moved away and weeks since we saw other friend because life. 

And I love Mushroom that we were going to see his mates so yeah, couldn't get out of it.

I showered.  I drank some water.  I swallowed some paracetamol.  I pulled my shit together, got in the car (yes, probably shouldn't have driven, well aware, it was 12 hours later and I thought I was ok...) and drove to the Strand.

I had to stop on the way to dry retch.

I then bought coffee and gelato for the kids and lay on the ground groaning inwardly whilst my friends laughed at me and the kids had the best time ever.

And then comes my mother of the year moment, are you ready? It's good.

I vomited in public on the strand. 

It gets better, whilst I'm doing this, my two year old daughter comes over and pats me on the back repeating, "it's ok Mummy, it's alright" in soothing tones. I thanked her profusely whilst thinking that I'm probably the worst mother in the history of the universe, but also not, because I told her to get on the other side of me because it was windy and I didn't want to throw up on her.

Yep.

All time low.

I really am the best mother ever.

Finest moment in recent history and also my best angle...

PS do you ever really learn not to do this dumb shit?  Because it's been 20 years and I'm still a dickhead...

Photo credit to my GF Amanda. No birthday present for you!