14 May 2018

Week Nineteen

Do you follow the fabulous Busy Phillips on Insta?  If you don't, you should.  She gives me life.. 'YOU GUYS...' She listens to fab music which she shares with us, talks a mile a minute, loves her kids to bits and is generally a super amazing down to earth celeb who I love.  Busy and Anna Paquin are my absolute fave famous ladies at present. I almost comment on their hilarious posts but feel like a stalker.  

Why is that?  They're just sharing snippets of their lives like I do, but I don't know, creeping on people you don't actually know or haven't met before seems 'rude' or weird to me. 

I know!  I have ISSUES! 

Why am I talking about this?  Because I do share lots of my life online.  My health, my life, my job, my relationships and my kids.  I know that in this day and age that it's maybe not so wise.  I guess I'm feeling a little guilty about it.  My kids never gave me permission to share every thing they do with all and sundry.  I don't want my kids to grow up and see what I shared and be humiliated or embarrassed, or hate me for sharing things about their lives that they never consented in me sharing... 

Obviously all these things make me think twice about blogging in general and I'm now questioning what I've already written.  Things online never truly disappear so even though I could delete my blog but it wouldn't guarantee that it would disappear.  It would still exist somewhere, in the online universe, never really going away.  Which sucks.  

I know that teenage Jess would hate to have read online all about her shitting in her pants at 2 or eating bubblegum off the road when she was 4 years old, I'd be absolutely mortified.  But older Jess, Jess now, I love hearing those stories, I'd love to read anything my Mum wrote back then so I could hear how she coped, what happened, what her day to day was like.  Because now that I'm a mother, I'm interested and I can relate.  And time passing has this funny habit of removing all those shitty, mundane details so you can never really remember all the little things.    

So what should I do?  I have to admit that I never asked Juffin if I could write about him in this way too and whilst I don't share too much re our relationship, I do say some not so nice things about him from time to time.  I don't even think he reads my blog. 

It's too late to be asking these questions right?  Like duh Jess, probably should have thought about this shit 5.5 years ago.  Am I overthinking shit as per usual?  Not that many people even read my stupid blog so not sure why I'm even worrying about it.  Hardly going viral over here.  Just thinking about privacy and how I've been remiss, especially when it comes to the kids!

Is it time to shut this shit down?  Would anyone even miss it?! It's not really the point though because I like doing it, for me.  As my little online diary.  So I know what was happening at the time and I can go back and read it and laugh at myself.