4 Feb 2013

Crazy Person

So I'm a fatty.  And this pregnancy was really good for me because I finally realised how much of a fatty I had become and then it made me start freaking out about the future and being a Mum and the Mushroom being ashamed because he has a fat Mummy and all that jazz.  I know.  It's not all about me all the time, but this blog kinda is, so there.

Miraculously, through daily exercise and unexplained phenomena, I only put on 7kg during pregnancy.  Amazeballs.  I was feeling pretty excellent about myself.  Following the birthing, I was back to pre-preggo weight immediately.  Awesome.  4 weeks later I was 5 kg down on that weight.  Even more awesome!  I'm jumping around singing breastfeeding's praises to all and sundry.  Getting my high horse all nice and high and thinking that my body has finally decided to shed itself of the excess weight...

Now we come to today and something has clearly broken because the scales are going back in reverse. As in kilos are going back on and there's no reason for it whatsoever.  I have been walking daily.  In face melting heat, with the poor Mushroom sweating it up inside the pram in sympathy!  Poor little Mushroom.  It's that hot inside his pram that I bought him a pram fan.  It arrives next week.  I digress...

I've been making better choices.  Having healthy snacks.  Yes, my portion sizes are probably too big, but I'm so damn hungry by dinner time and I'm sorry for the immodesty, but I'm a seriously good cook... I'm still breastfeeding all day and the Mushroom is getting all the good stuff, but not my fat!  Argh!

I'm clearly nutso in body and mind.  I mean honestly, who puts on weight after the damn pregnancy?!  What's wrong with my crazy body?  Why can't it just expel the fat and be done with it?!  I talk to it everyday.  I tell the fat that it's ok to leave me, I comfort my body and tell it it's ok not to be fat anymore.  Obviously a crazy person, but the walking everyday has stopped working, the ridiculous face melting heat of late isn't working and I'm pretty sure that telling my body not to be fat anymore isn't working either.

I'm not really sure where to go from here, just wanted to have a vent really.  I can't go back on the low carb diet I was on before Mushroom as you have to eat carbs whilst breastfeeding, you can't make good healthy baby milk without them.  I'm going to make a concerted effort to cut down on the size of my dinner serving (bread and butter plate!) and I recently gave up on the coke.  Yes.  The devil's drink.  I'm not doing sugar free either cos that shit is major poison.  It's full sugar or nothing at all and my ass is saying nothing at all.

Extreme circumstances call for extreme measures so when this ridiculous heat subsides I am going to tackle the hill.  With my boy.  Strapped to my back or with the pram.  Probably with the pram so I can work out my humongous tuckshop arms as well.  Heaven help me and say a prayer to whichever deity you worship cos I'm going to need it!  I will keep you posted!

Sans shirt in the pram... too hot Mum!