Enter the rubbernecker, the gawker, the big starey hole. It started a couple of weeks ago. We were feeding quietly on the couch and I'm watching something on tv when 'Thawp....' and Mushroom has pulled himself off of my breast and has turned his noggin around to stare at the box. What a clever boy, I thought to myself at the time and gently guided his head back over to my breast where he started hungrily sucking away again. Then 2 minutes later it happens again. Only this time, Mr Clever Clogs has puts himself back on, after having a chat, and giving me gummy's. This is all super cute and I'm thinking how awesome he is and how's he's so funny and cute and clever.
Fast forward to now and as one of the girls on the babycenter forum said "it's like he's going out for a latte". Exactly. A buffet, a coffee date, a beer with his mates. Our feeding sessions now go like this:
"Wah wah wah WWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Yell at Mum cos obviously hungry, feed me already! I pick him and take him to the bedroom where we now have to do our feeds otherwise gets too distracted.
"Uh, ugh, nuh, ugh, NUGH!!" Mushroom is grunting up a storm, rooting around with his mouth, and punching me with tiny fists.. You can just hear his little brain saying where's the food already, damn woman?!
Finally manage to get squirmy baby onto breast correctly, hooray!
Then we have the humming, and the overly loud sucking noises whilst he feeds. "Mmmmmm, hhmmmmm, aaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmm" all the while feeding, feeding, feeding...
Then "THWAP" pull off (nearly removing my nipple in the process), swings head back and forth whilst having a chat, blowing raspberries and carrying on. He does some people watching (staring at Juffin if he's in the room otherwise have no idea who he's looking at as we're all alone), has a chat, goes back for another bite, pulls off again, smiles winningly at the waiter (me), feed, feed, pulls off for more people watching...
It's hard to tell when he's finished as he used to just pull off when he was done but now he wants to have a chat in between and even jump around on my lap for a bit, burp and have a little spew then continue.
This is also especially frustrating whilst out as I don't really want my whole breast out and exposed to all and sundry while he tells me what he did in the pram on the way here. I know Mushroom, I was bloody there remember?!
What had been a very efficient process, has now disintegrated into a shambles. Instead of the usual 20 mins, feeding now it takes over half an hour because of all the bloody rubbernecking and Chatty McChatterson's.
|Raspberry face from Chatty McChatterson|
At this point I just have to laugh. You can't help but smile at him when he's being so damn cute. Good thing I have nothing better to do hey?!