1 Nov 2016

Nice

Remember that saying?  If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all?  I'm not that great at it.  In fact I'm pretty terrible and can be a total nasty pastie when I want to be.

But that's not my point.  My point is that I've not been feeling very positive lately and hence my lack of posting.

I honestly didn't want this blog to turn into a full on whinge fest, FML tumblr, insert crying face emoji here but fuck you guys! Life with two kids is BLOODY HARD!

I went to visit my fam, it was fab, but also shit because my daughter refused to sleep much while we were there.

I haven't heard from the hospital so still have giant protruding guts and no closer to getting hernia fixed.

Molly keeps waking up at night since returning from family visit so trying to teach her how to get back to sleep without a boob in her mouth.

I am trying to complete return to work paperwork but have no childcare organised for my daughter and no brain capacity to make things sound good when I'm actually exhausted.

I keep yelling at Juffin like our crappy problems are all his fault when they're not and he's actually working really hard and is quite helpful re doing dishes etc but yelling makes me feel better and he's there.

I could go on and on and ON but it's shite, and it's not, because first world problems, you know?

Anyway this morning I was making up my giant plunger of coffee and listening to my daughter scream her little lungs out for the 30th straight minute and silent tears just started tracking down my face.  Exhausted and emotional, I just stood there staring blearily at the plunger whilst the tears fell, wondering how I was going to face the day.  And then I felt a sticky hand on my leg.

"Mummy," wide, hazel eyes look up at me, "Mummy what's wrong?  Why are you sad?  Are you hurt?  Did the coffee burn you?"

"No darling.  Mummy just feels sad because she's tired and doesn't think she's doing a very good job lately."

"Well I think you are Mummy.  I think you're the bestest Mummy in the whole world."

And then he hugged me and squeezed my face and said "I love you Mummy.  Now drink your coffee so you don't have to be cranky anymore."

Maybe I'm not doing such a bad job.