12 May 2016


Let's talk about post baby bodies.

For some reason the media thinks that we care about celebrities who got back to PRE-BABY FABULOUSNESS in less than 2 HOURS post partum.  Clearly a minor exaggeration, but you feel me right?

The thing is that, we really fucking don't.


It's shit.

So stop doing that please media juggernauts, it's making mother's everywhere feel shithouse, cheers.

I have never had, what anyone would call, a fabulous body.  But I will go with the standard, it's pretty fabulous because at some point or another it carried three babies and it's currently keeping one of those baby's alive.  On it's own.  With the milk that my body produces.  In my boobs.

See, that's awesome.

But that still doesn't help me feel better when I go to try on breastfeeding shirts (see previous post) and it's not my boobs that are the problem for once, but my protruding, swollen, hideous, guts.  It's like I'm still pregnant.  I'm only 4kg away from pre-pregnancy weight but I feel like I'm so much wider around the middle.  I don't remember being this swollen after having the Mushroom.

I've only had the courage to look at my scar once and it made me feel sick so I haven't since then.  We don't have full length mirrors, praise Jesus, so it's easy to avoid looking at it.  But there's like a shelf there now.  It's bloody horrendous.

My boobs are saggier than ever and hang down by my waist, despite wearing a bra 24/7.  My feet are all dry and crusty because I'm barefoot at home all the time.  I have permanent black shadows, hairy armpits and my brows look like Ernie's.

Let's be honest, I probably feel bad about this because I see pictures, in the media, of women who weigh 47kg, looking amazeballs mere moments after having children and I just wanted to remind myself that it's total bullshit.

We raise our hairy brows to your post-baby body bullshit!
I have a daughter now. I want to instil some good feelings about her body.  I want her to focus on being strong, and smart and funny and kind.  Because these things matter, not how fast you can get back to your pre-baby body.  Who gives a flying fuck about that!

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