4 Jan 2013


I was going to post about the DVD I watched called Dunstan Baby Language which was pretty damn interesting but I did something totally selfish today and thought I'd write about that instead.  I went and had a 3 hour pamper session at the beauty therapist and holy, what a load off!

At my baby shower some of my lovely work colleagues put in and bought me a gift voucher for a local beauty joint.  I know that people love buying stuff for the baby as baby shower gifts but honestly, this gift was like the best thing ever.  After the last two weeks of me swinging between sanity and full blown mania, constantly wanting to kill Juffin, drug Mushroom and myself and/or take up the cigarettes again, it was totally time to use it!

Juffin had his last day of work today and the voucher was only valid for another month. What better opportunity?!  I had intended to use it before Mushroom was born but just ran out of time... alright, that's not entirely true.  In my pregnant state I got totally addicted to this terrible TV show called Teen Wolf that my gay bro (shout out) recommended.  Whilst being utter crap, the boys are unbelievably cute so well worth it.  I've now admitted that and will endure the eternal embarrassment of mentioning it here. Honestly, pregnancy makes people do stupid things, but while we're at it, I still love Dawson's Creek and that has nothing to do with pregnancy.  Pacey forever!!!

I dug up the voucher from the bowels of my nappy bag, and decided to give them a call, on New Year's Day.  When they were obviously closed.  Yes, I'm crazy.  I have no concept of time now that I'm at home all the time and Juffin is usually my clock but he's off work as well!  It's so bizarre, used to live for Friday night and now have no idea what bloody day it is!  Now that I'd decided to use the voucher I was being a negative Nelly and thinking that they wouldn't be able to fit me in that late in the week.  Someone also made the comment that they just rush you through when it's a voucher as well, which totally bummed me out... see negative Nelly!

Cut a long stupid story short, made appointment, expressed a gazillion mls of milk and toddled off this morning leaving the Mushroom in the capable hands of Juffin's Daddy Daycare.

Even though half of Townsville has seen my box now, (not because I'm a ho, but because I had a baby!) I still don't like being naked in front of strangers but obviously had to for full body massage!  I just kept thinking to myself thank God I put on my one pair of decent knickers and not the giant preggo nanna knickers that I've been getting around in still!  Before leaving to let me to nude up, Magic Hands told me to jump up on the table when I was ready... except I'm really short and that table was quite tall and there's no little step to help me out.  I start panicking that she was going to come back into the room and see me fartarsing around so I jump up on the table with bits wobbling all over the place and try to snuggle down under what could only be described as a mountain of fluffy towels, or without exaggeration, as a molehill of fluffy towels.

Magic Hands re-enters and we begin.  The usual 2 min blah blah chat commences and I'm just like, shut the hell up and get on with it lady!  Oil is applied, lights are dimmed (THANK GOD) and I am whisked away by magical fairy forest music to a heavenly land where baby's don't cry and boyfriends hang out the washing... ahhhh!  That first 40 minutes was like heaven.. bliss on a giant fluffy brown towel.  Then I realised that my bladder was getting uncomfortably full and because I've been on my tummy for nearly 45 minutes  my boobs/nipples are on fire from being squashed underneath my generous person.  We finally flip over and I pray that the lights are dim enough that she doesn't see my lack of bikini maintenance.  Sorry, you guys didn't need to know that, that was probably way TMI!

I am rubbed all over.. ALL OVER with beautiful smelling oil.  My feet are then soaked in a herbal spa thing, whilst my face and d√©colletage are cleansed, steamed, ex foliated, masked and moisturised.  After my feet have soaked they are scrubbed and masked, toenails clipped, filed and painted and my feet are then massaged and moisturised all over again.  I'm like having the best time ever, except for that nagging full bladder but I'll be damned if I ask to go the toilet!  I'm not interrupting this serenity for anything!

During the 3 hours that I'm lying there I think often of the Juffin and the Mushroom, I know I'm not supposed to but seriously?  I'm even left alone in the room for twenty minutes 'to relax' and nearly jump down and get my phone out of my bag to make sure everything is alright but give myself a lecture and talk myself out of it.

After being massaged within an inch of my life, I leave smelling like heaven, a giant smile on my face and rush to the toilets where I pee for 3 minutes continuously. On the mad dash to the bathroom, I check my phone and the Juffin has informed me at 9.15am that the Mushroom went back to sleep and all is well, he is still sleeping when I call back from the toilet stall at 12pm.  Yes, I called Juffin from the toilet.  I am a mother now and I was worried.

I have spent the rest of the day floating happily on cloud 9.  Mushroom has had two more good sleeps today, we went splashing in the paddling pool and had lots of smiles and cuddles.  I haven't been that relaxed since probably before I found out I was pregnant!  Moral of this blog is I am so buying gift vouchers for beauty treatments as baby shower gifts.  It's not something that you would buy for yourself very often, if ever, (I know I never would) and when done well, like today, you feel like a million bucks.  So worth the cost.  Mummy's need time away to feel special.  Best gift ever!

Mushroom chilling on his towel 

  Next time: Say it with me - Every baby is different!