28 Aug 2013

Before Mushroom

When you have a child, things that used to be easy, are now hard.

Fuelling up the car
Filling the car with petrol on the way home was no biggie.  Now I have to time fuelling up with whatever is going on in that AHR Meridian in the back seat.  Great filling up times are: after drop off to daycare, after leaving work on the way to pick up child. If these times aren't convenient then you can definitely try when child is awake and co-operative, child is very asleep so able to be moved successfully, or partner is in the car also.  Other contributing factors include: is there enough money in the bank account, mobile reception so can access money in bank account, purse in vehicle, able to locate purse in cavernous nappy bag.... exhausting!

I know, I know everyone says it but goddamn!  My boy is still not sleeping through and we've had a couple of tough weeks lately.  It's amazing how little sleep you do need to adequately function.  This is exponentially increased by your access to hot water as you always feel more active after washing your lack of sleep away. What I wouldn't give for 7 uninterrupted hours.....

When you're single, or childless, you can eat whatever you want.  If you want to eat popcorn for dinner, you can.  If you're too lazy to cook, you can get takeaway.  When you have a child, you can't do either of these things.  Which sucks.  I mean you can get takeaway for the adults to eat but you still have to provide your child with a healthy, nutritious meal to fill his tiny tummy.  This usually involves cooking so you may as well cook yourself and your hubby a nice meal anyway.  And FYI this doesn't mean that you lose weight.

Going to the Toilet
I now have an audience when I go to the toilet.  Enough said really.

Dashing to the shops
There's just no such thing really.  Any outing is an expedition.  Nappies, wipes, bottom balm, change of clothes, dummy, toys, chew ring, food, bib, hat, sunscreen, sippy cup, tissues to wipe snotty nose.  And then there's my stuff!  Purse, keys, green bags, shopping list... inevitably I will leave the shops with everything but the one thing that I went up there to get and have to turn around and go straight back.  Today I went to buy lettuce and left $40 poorer and still no lettuce!  Still waiting for someone to open up a drive thru convenience store so you can just drive thru and get your bread and milk without waking the child in the back seat!

Before Mushroom I could do all these things, and more, with relative ease.  I could also read lots of books, watch lots of mindless tv, bake and cook without an 8.5kg obstacle dogging your every move, hang out with the Juffin and sleep until 11am, smoke cigarettes and drink lots of beer and vodka.

Life was pretty boring and predictable, and I guess it was easy.  Now, every day something exciting happens.  The Mushroom has added technicolour to our lives.  And though I miss being able to sleep in till 11, I wouldn't trade the Mushroom for any of those things. Not even the sleeping, or the vodka.  And I really like vodka.  And sleeping.  In that order.  (insert smiley face here!)

Mushroom - 10 months