9 Sep 2013


On Friday the Mushroom spent his first night away from his Mum and Dad. 

I was nervous, the Juffin was nervous, the MIL was nervous... Mushroom wasn't nervous cos he had no idea what was going on. 

Breastfeeding has proved overnight stays away from the Mushroom a little difficult up until now.  I stopped night feeds about six weeks ago when I realized that it was more habitual rather than actual hunger.  It took a few days but he's mostly sleeping through til about 5am now at which time I do feed him because settling at 5am is not up on my list of fun things to do.

Despite this little win, the last month or so has been pretty bad as teething has caused the little one an insurmountable amount of drama.  Men. 

All of this lead up is just my way of justifying having a night off.  It was the Juffin's birthday, I had managed to stockpile a little milk and we had booked the movie and bought some drinks.  It was happening.  A night off.  I don't know what I was more excited about, the movie, the drinks or the prospect of an uninterrupted night's sleep!

During the movie and all the way home, I didn't think too much about the Mushroom.  I mean we'd been out for dinner and a movie before, so that was nothing new.  It wasn't until we got home and I went into his little room that it hit me that he wasn't there!  It was such a strange feeling, like wanting him there and needing to rush off and pick him up but also thanking my lucky stars that he WASN'T there so we could have some much needed quality time (read sleep).  You feel guilty that you are loving your alone time but sort of wish you did this more often, then feel even guiltier!  You know what I mean?  Anyway, I managed to shake off the weird feeling and get on with it.  It helped that the Juffin received a text message from the MIL advising Mushy went to bed no worries, sleeping well now... hmmm. 

You can guess what happened next, a youngish couple, first night off in months, bourbons in hand, one thing led to another and... yep, you guessed it, nothing at all.  That's right.  Nothing.  I mean we had some dinner, talked a bit, had a few cuddles on the couch.  I had two drinks, total and was feeling awesome until I fell asleep on the couch and had to be dragged off to bed by an equally tired Juffin. 

Ahh, bed, sleeepppp.  Uninterrupted sleeepppppppp.  God I love sleep... Hang on, what the hell is this?  Why am I being shaken awake, what time is it, what the hell is going on?  Is Max ok?  It's still bloody dark outside.  I'm met with a douchebag, sorry, man, towering over me asking me where the headache tablets are.  Are you fucking serious?  Do I take headache tablets?  Did you not have some last week?  Where the hell did you leave them after you took them?  It is FOUR AM!  FOUR!  My first night off in 11 months and you wake me up because you have a headache and you can't find the headache tablets that you are the sole consumer of? There is no emergency with our son, just douchebaggery at it's finest. 

After that I toss and turn for three hours silently fuming and regretting my choice of life mate.  At 7ish I finally admit defeat and get up to watch the news.  I'm actually just biding time so I can go and pick up my less annoying, younger male family member.  It's strange not seeing his little face first thing and I'm really missing him now.  Especially considering I got no bloody sleep anyway so he could have just been here! 

When I get to MIL's.  Alone.  I'm to discover that my shitty sleeper is not so shitty after all. Lo and behold, the boy slept just fine at his grandparent's house.  He woke up once (!) or twice (!!) but settled straight away with a cuddle and back into bed.  When I do that he just starts screaming again when I put him down...  I then had to listen to a barrage of how awesome he is from MIL and basically that I must be overreacting or doing something wrong re the sleeping.... I won't get into it here but it was long, and annoying and I was annoyed and tired.  And in no mood to deal with it.  Especially considering that everyone in that room has had more sleep than me! 

As my MIL is talking Mushroom is climbing all over me and babbling away with a big cheesy grin on his face, so happy to see me.  I can imagine the inner monologue, "I'm so glad you're back Mum, I like your chest where the milk comes out, why don't you break those out?  Come on, break them out, break them out, break them out, whoa, what's that noise?  Look!  I have a finger!  Look!  I can stick my whole fist in your mouth Mum! Guess what Mum? I can't wait to keep you up tonight as I'm so well rested from sleeping over at Meme's house"  Yeah I bet you can't you little turd...  I'm thinking maybe my little boy is a bit of a douchebag too?! 

Mini douchebag?!