First I underestimated how much money we had as I had some unforeseen expenses so funds were low. Despite this, I still think that Father's Day is more about the gesture, rather than the gift itself, so didn't want to go too crazy anyway, but it was like I was being punished or something.
Confident in my choices, I went to the bookstore to get the next book in the saga of books that the Juffin is reading, no go. Hmmmmm, don't really want to get a different book as once he starts a series he likes to finishno other book stores in this centre so we'll just move onto the next choice....
Head to gift store for a 'World's Greatest Dad' mug as he has been breaking all his mugs lately,except there are no suitable mugs. Holden mugs, Ford mugs, beer mugs, alcohol branded shit but no 'my Dad is kickass' mugs. Like anywhere. What the hell?! Is there a conspiracy that I'm unaware of? Did people just suddenly decide that the world is just too cool for a cheesy 'My Dad Rocks' mug? What kind of world are we living in when there are NO CHEESY DAD MUGS FOR FATHER'S DAY?!
I run into my boys and I can tell that the Mushroom is getting shitty but the Juffin is shittier as he just loves hanging out in shopping centres doing nothing. What am I doing to do? I give the Mushroom a quick breastfeed whilst frantically thinking of things to buy in my head.... Ok. Deep breaths. I tell them I will be another half hour, tops. The look on Juffin's face is not good but what can I do? I cannot give him nothing for his first Father's Day!
All is not lost. I have come up with a couple more back up ideas. He has run out of his American Crew man hair and body wash so I'll just go to the Hairhouse Warehouse and get some of that. Except when I get there there is an empty spot where the 3in1 is supposed to be. I race to the counter where they inform me that there must be some sort of mistake as there were a few bottles there just yesterday... but there it is. An empty spot which can only mean that they DON'T HAVE ANY! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! The girl in the hairdresser is glad to be rid of me as I have that manic look in my eye.
After all these disappointments I don't even know why I bother looking in the surf shop. There are no size 11 Pacman thongs, nor size 34 boardies in the only pair that he would have been caught dead in.
Dejected and defeated, I have reached end of my tether shopping mode, usually reserved for the day before Christmas. In a blinding moment of sheer desperation and genius I run into the trusty old supermarket. I buy two giant mugs, one blue, one grey. I buy copious amounts of chocolate. I race around the corner, running like a mad thing, and see the fancy tea shop. My man loves tea. Tea it is! I buy some of the most expensive tea known to man (I mean seriously, is there crack in that tea?) and I shove it all in my handbag.
Moral of this story is, don't leave things to the last minute. Or Stockland sucks balls. Either way, the Juffin didn't give two shits what we gave him for Father's Day. The Mushroom did a painting for him at daycare so he's happy with that, and my man ain't fussy. There's tea and chocolate so he's suitably chuffed. Even more reason to be chuffed when I say he can stay in bed whilst we go to swimming without him, sleeping is the best present ever! Upon returning home I cook up a giant breakfast of eggs, bacon, beans and sausage, hash browns, mushrooms and tomatoes and feed him until all he can do is roll to the couch.... he's winning and it's only 10.30.
I won't tell you about the rest of our day, as that's just boring. There was cupcakes and a I deboned a leg of lamb and made a kickass curry so he was thoroughly fed and watered making the Juffin a very happy man.
|Story time with Dad|