18 Feb 2016

Gut Talking

I have a friend who's into body building... sort of. Mostly just loves lifting heavy shit and being SWOLE and stuff.  She's pretty hot.  Ok, she's very hot.  But she's also super dedicated and strong and awesome.  She worked damn hard to get to where she is and whilst there's no way I'm about to start counting macro's, or tracking my every bite, it got me to thinking about how people cannot shut up about other people's life choices.

See when my friend was prepping for her competition last year, people at her work could not stop making stupid comments.  Comments about her food, her appearance, her life choices...

'Are you supposed to be eating that?'
'Is that all you're allowed to eat?'
'Aren't you hungry?'
'I couldn't do what you're doing'
'I hate girls with muscles'
'Be careful, you don't want to get too big'
'Are you eating again?'

On and on and on and ON!

Seriously!  It's bad enough to be all judgey judgey about people's food, let alone call them out on it, draw unnecessary attention and make them feel bad in front of everyone! You wouldn't walk up to a fatty and ask them if they should be eating the KFC that they're shovelling in their face would you?  And if you would, and they're not a great friend who needs you to kick them up the arse for eating KFC, then that's NOT VERY NICE!  YOU ARE NOT A NICE PERSON!

Most people who are eating crap, know that they shouldn't be eating it.  They're eating it, because THEY WANT TO!  Like people who track their food, meal prep, and lift big arse weights, THEY'RE DOING IT BECAUSE THEY WANT TO!

In the last two weeks I have been told that I'm huge too many times to count.  Comments like: 'Wow, you still have eight weeks to go', 'Are you sure there's only one in there?' and 'You've grown so much!' are unnecessary and make me want to kill myself.  Of course I've grown idiot, there's a human being, literally being made inside me!

You could also stop staring at my enormous gut when talking to me and try to keep your eyes on my face.  Or my boobs.  Either is fine.  Just stop looking at my belly. I know it's huge.  I know it's fascinating.  But I can't deal with it any more.  Please.

And stop asking me how I am.  Every day with the how are you?  Stop.  I have bags under my eyes, I have hair growing out of my chin, my underpants are too tight and my vagina feels like it's been kicked by a mule.  How do you think I am?  I'm growing a person!  A real, live person who kicks the shit out of my insides 24/7.  I'm exhausted.  I am a mother to a toddler. I'm hungry and tired, all of the time.  I try and sleep but as I need to pee 77 times a day, I rarely get more than 3 hours without feeling like I'm about to wet the bed.

I then lay awake for hours getting kicked in the bladder that's never really empty and worrying about all the stuff that I haven't organised yet.

Or how much my next electricity bill is because it's 35 degrees outside and it's 2.47am and the air conditioning has been running flat out for weeks on end now.  

32 Weeks.  So pretty.
Eight weeks to go and then another hell will emerge and I'll remember this time fondly and think about how stupid I was to whinge about this.  

I did this to myself.  But I'm allowed to whinge about it.  Those are the rules.  You're just not allowed to call me out on it.  Or ask me how I am.  Or comment on how huge I am. Or talk to me at all without offering me food and a nap first.

Why did I do this again?!