6 Apr 2016


I've probably jinxed myself by writing about this now but here goes.

The Mushroom has gone off the rails a little bit lately with his toilet training.  Yes.  He is still training at 3.5 years old.  I have no answers.  I'm not a bloody magical unicorn parent.  It's taken time and patience and lots and lots of pairs of jocks but I think we might just be getting there.

Let me be clear, it's not the weeing.  It's the pooping. We have been in jocks for a LONG time.  Long.  One day he just decided that he didn't want to wear nappies anymore and jocks were the way forward.  Great, massive sign of readiness is telling me that you are ready!  The potty worked well, the seat worked well, everything was working really well until it isn't.

And then it is.

And then it's not.

And then it is.

And then it's not.

I have no idea.

It was great.  For months.  Sure we'd have the odd accident but nothing major.  Nothing stinky.  None of this stand right in front of me and do your business rubbish.

At some point in the last 10 weeks, my darling son decided to shit his pants every morning instead of going to the toilet.  Pee is one thing, shit, on the other hand, is quite another.

I googled, I talked to friends, I spoke to daycare staff.. No idea, maybe because baby is coming?!  Common theme however is to remain calm, don't react, don't get angry, don't make a big deal out of it.

Yeah righto!  How do you not react when you have a three year old laughing in your face about his yucky poo bum (insert fart noise here)?!

It's quite difficult.  I'm not the calmest person.  Or the most patient either. In fact, pretty sure I'm a terrible mother, but having to clean up shit every fucking morning for weeks on end really does get to you.  Baby shit I can deal with.  Proper shit is just that, proper fucking shit.

Enter star chart.  And reward system.  And bribing child with lollies and chocolate.  And lo and behold, it works!

We have had limited success but if we give him a sweet treat, every time he poos in the toilet, it works.

No, I don't think that feeding toddlers sugar in the morning is a great idea.

No, I don't agree that rewarding toddlers with food is a great idea either.

No, I don't know how we will continue this into the future.

No, I don't really care what you think.

Here is my son eating his mango tango ice-cream today after reaching 10 stars on his star chart. That's some good pooping.

As another Mummy friend says, whose son has only just started going to the toilet to poo after being petrified of doing so, let's #prayforpoo and hope that our sons remain 'poo confident'.

The phrase 'Poo confident' did actually come out of a three year old's mouth.  You can't make that shit up.


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