I know you're all laughing as my posts are sporadic at best but c'mon, humour me please! A girl can try.
First, my kids continue to amaze and infuriate me in equal measure.
Mushroom is currently obsessed with his penis and gets it out whenever the mood strikes him.
Which is frequent.
He has just been given a pair of boyleg fancy jocks that have the 'pocket' and he now pokes his penis out of said pocket and waves it in mine and Molly's faces. We are unimpressed. I don't know how many times a week I yell "Please stop playing with your doodle/penis in the (insert common living area name here). If you want to play with it, please go to your room!"
My neighbours love me.
On Tuesday evening he managed to lock us out of the house and I had to turn the gas off at the wall and wait for Juffin to get home and break in. I was a bad mother and called him an idiot. I apologised afterwards but shit, I was frickin mad! I still feel bad. Hashtag Mum Guilt.
|Classy cup ladies|
It wasn't a totally shitty day, I spent the afternoon with my lovely GF watching the Cup and eating yummy food. It was good but next time we think we'll ditch the bloody kids and go somewhere air conditioned where we don't have to cook OR clean up... Too much noise and not enough bubbles!
Molly has had yellow snot pouring from her nose all week and now looks like she's been on a 5 day coke bender. She's scabby, and grumpy and honestly, I feel like the terrible two's have already arrived and I don't know if I can live through this shit again! She is already throwing herself on the floor and yells "NO WAY" whenever I ask her a question or offer her a food she doesn't like. Which is anything that isn't cake. She's already dictating to me what she will and won't wear ("NO WAY") and says things like "Mummy farty" and runs away.
If you don't laugh you'll cry.
I attempted to braid her hair for the first time yesterday and I described it on facebook as 'trying to wrestle an octopus with fluff for tentacles'. Her hair fell out within in the hour because it really is, just fluff.
Juffin was recovering from tonsillitis and/or the flu aka I'm dying, please fawn over me endlessly. I'm a bitch and not at all sympathetic so was mostly just annoyed that I had to do all the washing up as well as the cooking which is crap. He seems to have recovered but one can never be too sure re relapse.
I made a particularly good batch of Zucchini Slice which lasted the entire week, rearranged my baking shelf and gave it a good wipe out, ordered groceries, finished my bookclub book, got a Strand walk in and a playdate and got the enrolment forms for Mushroom's OSHC sent off. I also scored a fancy hair curler on Gumtree for $25 and have been spending lots of time in the bathroom damaging my already colour-damaged hair beyond repair. Huzzah!
I have 4 loads of clean washing piled up in the lounge room ready to fold and my floors haven't been mopped in 10 days as my mop bucket died and I kept forgetting to buy another one. I might have to do something about these things tomorrow...
AND today, whilst at bookclub, I noticed my first white eyebrow hair in the tea rooms bathroom. I guess the light in my bathroom is shitty and the mirror is too far away but there was, glaring back at me in all it's white shiny glory.
I got home this afternoon and promptly took a selfie.
I guess this means that I have white pubes now too... Literally firs thing that popped into my mind after seeing it.
I'm not game to check!
Ps scuse my brows, waxing is low on my list of priorities at the moment!