28 Jan 2018

Week Four

This week saw me lose my shit over the neverending washing and go off at the kids about their constant food wastage and mess.

I can't help myself, I get stupidly angry and yell.  Alot.  I'm a bit of an arsehole if I'm honest, but fark!  I repeat myself over and over again and literally nobody listens to a damn word I say. 

I have tried being calm.  I have tried to keep my shit together.  I have tried speaking at an acceptable volume and asking nicely.  Nothing seems to work.

I use cloth nappies, this is not news to anyone, and I don't love washing and I use them anyway.  But doing washing sucks balls and for some reason I am the only person who does the goddamn washing.  Who decided I did all the washing?  I don't remember having a team meeting?  I don't remember being nominated!  I don't remember the part where Juffin said, hey babe, you do the washing and I'll mop the floors.  I wanna mop the fucking floors!  (Incidentally we did the floors twice this week which I'll talk about later but you get my drift). 

I've even considered going on a washing strike and only washing my own clothes but I still have to do the kids.  I mean I tried to get Mushroom to hang clothes out but he's just too short.  He can't actually reach.  So it's pretty redundant if I'm washing 3/4 of the clothes and leaving that one's out.  Vindictive much?  

We've had fights about it.  And he does heaps around the house.  He very rarely does the washing unless I command it.  And it shits me. I don't know what the solution is but Juffin if you're reading this, hang the washing out/bring the washing in/fold the fucking washing!!  

We have tiles.  Which is great.  And shit.  At the same time. 

The kids have snacks in the lounge room all the time.  The joys of open plan living right?  FARK!  There is food all over the place, ALL THE TIME. 

I have tried to enforce an eat at the table only policy and it just falls the fuck down.  I cannot maintain it. And it's futile anyway with an almost 2 year old waving her hands about and showering food in a 5 metre radius around her.  I mean she's practically in the lounge room anyway!  

I had the week off work whilst Mushrooms settled into school.  On Wednesday I did the floors, vacuumed and mopped, did under the couches, put all the toys away.   Putting the damn toys away and picking up all the food scraps literally takes 45 minutes.  

4 5 M I N U T E S!!!

WTF?!  

There was an apple core under the TV table that wasn't there last week when I did the floors and it was nearly unrecognisable. 

You guys think I'm gross now don't you? 

Whatever.  Judge away. 

So on Saturday morning, Juffin decides to do the floors again.  

My kids were at school and daycare on Thursday, they have literally been home on Thursday afternoon and Friday and the floors were an abomination.  Usually we can get away with doing a sweep out but they needed to be vacuumed and mopped ALL OVER AGAIN. 

I tried not to get upset and take it personally that I had done them only days before and he was doing them again but when he started pushing the couches out of the way and tsking I had to leave the living area.  

Like do some washing dingus! Fold some clothes!  Mow the lawns!  Don't tsk at my apparent half arsed attempt to do the floors.  I felt like I shouldn't have even bothered on Wednesday! 

Yesterday they decided to raid the leftover pizza in the fridge and eat that at 7am.  I don't know how many pieces they ate, but there was pizza all over the damn house. 

At 8 they were complaining about being hungry so I offered to make porridge. 

Me: Does anyone want porridge? 
Kids: Yes.  Yes!  YES!!
Me:  Will you eat porridge? 
Kids: Yes Mum!  Yes! 
Me: Are you sure you want porridge? 
Kids: Yes! 
Me:  I'm not making porridge if no-one eats it.  I'm serious. You have to eat it.
Kids:  Yes we want porridge.  We'll eat it.  We promise Mum. PORRIDGE!  PORRIDGE!  PORRIDGE! 

Can you guess what happened?  Can you?

NO-ONE AT THE BLOODY PORRIDGE.  THE PORRIDGE SAT IN BOWLS TILL THE PORRIDGE WENT HARD AND COLD.

Juffin threw the porridge out after it sat there uneaten in their bowls for over an hour and then Molly said

MUM!  WHERE MY PORRIDGE GONE?

ARGH!  

I'm back to work tomorrow so I'm now going to prepare the lunches and pack the bags etc so I'm not up at 10 tonight doing it. Being organised just makes life easier but I don't like it.  I think I spend hours each week baking, packing lunch boxes and washing up tiny reusable containers.  

Mum life is awesome. 

Laying on the floor after cleaning them


PS Adulting!  We went out, had burgers and saw a band!  Like pre-children days!  It was a great night with friends, and Philadelphia Grand Jury and Art Vs Science were awesome.  The kids slept over at their grandparents house and Juffin and I slept in till 9.30!! AMAZING!

PPS Yes.  I just used excessive exclamation points but that shit rarely happens.  It was totally amazing.