It's become clear to me today, when I want to vent about something or someone, that I can't. Because I share this blog with so many people, and inevitably, whatever I write here, will eventually come back and bite me in the sizable arse. This means that I just have to suck it up and shut up. At the end of the day, it's just bitching anyway so I'm actually being a grown up and not saying anything at all because I can't say anything nice. Those who know me well will know what I'm referring to... and in the words forever immortalised by Forrest Gump, that's all I have to say about that.
Juffin does not read my blog. As he shares my life, and the experiences we have with Mushroom, I don't think he needs to read it. In his words, he gets to hear my hilarious take on life all day everyday, a constant stream of jibber jabber. I'm sure he'll read it someday but he's using his computer time to read the atomic website (tech website for supernerds) and look for car parts on ebay... that's my man.
According to trusty blogger stats, my blog has had over a 1000 page views. Wow! Upon seeing that my thought process went something like this....
"Can I get in trouble with the powers that be if I describe a particularly shitty day with the Mushroom and mention fleeting moments of violent hatred towards my child? Is that allowed? Can I talk about intimate moments with my little family or does that make them less intimate? Should I be posting photo's of my son on a website that can be viewed by anyone, any time, anywhere? Is this any different to facebook, because I'm pretty sure the only people reading my blog are people that I actually know? Isn't a blog supposed to be about sharing your life and experiences? And if that's true, which parts of your life do you keep private and which parts are a free for all? Is that a lot of page views for a blog? Am I over thinking things again... I'm pretty sure that nobody gives a shit about any of this crap Jessica! Snap out of it!"
Did that little insight into my brain freak you out just a little bit? It freaked me out! I'm a nutter and the majority of those page views were probably made by me every time I log in to do a post! As per usual, letting my imagination run wild. I'm just going to post about whatever and hope that I don't upset, hurt, embarrass or horrify too many people... famous last words!
This morning my Dad and my brother came to visit. They took me out for a coffee date, which we enjoyed and then we had a tiki tour around as they're closing the level crossing near my house and allegedly there is a back road out of my estate but it doesn't actually exist yet. In all our driving around, we somehow ended up at the pub. Before 12pm. Because we could and that's what semi bored Coleman's do. I justified it by pointing out that it was well after 2pm in New Zealand.
Mushroom was a very good boy until we got to the pub then he chucked a nany. So far he loves the car which is a bonus. I'd probably have an accident if I had to drive with a screaming child in the backseat! Obviously hungry and having only attempted to breastfeed in public once before, I had to try and feed the Mushroom somewhere. Thank god I am breastfeeding, how much bloody stuff do you have to carry around with formula feeding? Damn!
The only option I could see was the toilet as thought better of sitting in the garden bar trying to do it. Luckily there was a little bench in there so I didn't have to sit on the actual toilet. I think if I was smaller chested then I'd just breastfeed in public and to hell with what other people think, but because of the ginormous boulders on my chest, I'm a bit embarrassed and scared of confronting people. I feel like everyone's looking at me to see how I'm coping with a baby (see previous post re this here) and I'm not sure the two older gentlemen and the elderly couple having an early lunch would have enjoyed seeing my engorged melons and my son's tiny head sucking on them. To make matters worse it was at least 35c in the loo and we were sweating it up big time, Mushroom grunting and sucking and carrying on, and me with a snake of sweat trailing down my neck... delightful.
When we returned sweaty but semi-victorious, my Dad asked the poignant question of why there are no air conditioned toilets and we had to have a ponder on this as I couldn't think of one place where I've been in air conditioned comfort whilst doing my business, aside from the big shopping centres, and only recently has this been the case. My brother advised that you should plan your day around your bowel movements and I pointed out that sometimes it was an emergency. You can't possibly plan your entire day around your shit schedule. Literally. You can see why beer was definitely in order. Mushroom only tolerated the consumption of one beverage each so it was back in the car and homeward bound for us. And for all you Judgey McJudgeholes out there, I only intended to have one and I had a light beer after had I fed my son, so there!
That was our morning. We got home in time to make Juffin some bruschetta for lunch, have some tear free tummy time (I made sure that he was well fed before attempting and it seemed to be a success, hooray!) and get the nappies all washed and on the line. A day in the life. I will now attempt to get a nap in whilst the Mushroom is snoozing... fat chance!
|"See Mum! I can totally do it without crying!"|