I have all the routine stuff going on; my epidural is still in, the catheter that you have to have when you have an epidural, a cannula feeding me God knows what and, as an added bonus, a lovely drain as I was bleeding quite a lot so they've left that in my 'wound' as it shall henceforth be known as. I have bags of undisclosed liquids hanging all around me. At the risk of sounding like a teen, it's pretty gross. To make matters worse, shit is starting to hurt. Like a lot. I have a button that I can push that will release more drugs but I don't wanna dose myself up, pass out and miss cuddles with Max.
I think it's around 6.30pm or so as it's dark outside but we're still allowed visitors on the ward. Enter my Mum, sister, niece and bff. I realise then that I must look like a damn horror show. I have been up for over 24 hrs, hair sticking out all over the place, eyes glued together, puffy skin and general disgustingness. Poor Max is probably thinking 'what the hell did I do to receive a mother who looks like that?' My family and friends are so excited though and if they're horrified by my appearance, it's not mentioned out loud! My niece is pointing at things and asking what's this, what's that, whilst my sister tries not to freak out if she touches anything. Max is given lots of cuddles by his new Auntie and Grandmother and Juffin gets to dress him for the first time. Thank God my friend gave me some 0000 grosuits because I only bought 000 ones! They kept telling me that I was having a big baby, I think I said that already, but obviously they confused belly fat with actual baby cos this little guy is not 10 pounds!!! As Juffin is trying to dress our tiny son, my lovely little niece, Miss R, is on hand to advise him on how to do it. Cute alert! My visitors don't stay long, only half hour or so, which I'm grateful for, and further concretes the fact that I look like hell and they're all thinking holy shit Jess, get some sleep gf! What a bunch of stars!
Night is marching on and visiting hours are nearly over, when the woman in the bed next to me vacates. I'm now flying solo in room 9/10 Maternity Ward. I can't help but cross my fingers that it'll stay like that, at least for tonight anyway. This is the part of the hospital stay that I've been dreading, as I've heard through quite a few people that it's shit, quite frankly. I haven't seen any evidence of crapness yet, aside from the being sent home for the second time at Birth Suite but let's just try and put that behind us. Everyone so far has been extremely lovely. The ward staff are on hand to check me every half hour, they take my blood pressure, temperature, check all my various tubes and coo over the mushroom. Apparently he's gorgeous and I advise them that I'm really not that stupid to think that they don't say that to all the new Mum's!
It's past 8 o'clock and my Juffin has to go home. I'm getting really nervous as I can't even move properly to attend to Max if he needs me and I'm a bit lonely and scared. I've never been in hospital before, let alone had an operation, so the hormones start going wild. I'm a little teary as he cuddles me goodbye and I don't think he wants to go either. We toss up hiding him under the other bed but as my obs are being done every half hour we're not sure that we'll get away with it... a midwife comes and checks on me again and says gently to Juffin that visiting hours are over.... it's time to go. My poor man also looks like death warmed up and could do with a shower and a good night's sleep, though, because he's wonderful and perfect, he assures me that this will be impossible without me by his side. What a lovely, lovely man. I watch him go and then I stare at my son in the tiny crib next to me and think holy fuck, I'm now a mother. This is actually happening!
|Mushroom looking at me from his hospital crib!|