14 months ago I had a bit of an epiphany re my fatness and decided to do something about it. We'd been trying to conceive for 12 months at that stage and still nothing. I guess at that point I realised that my health was probably an issue.
I started training 6 days a week, cardio and strength. I cut back on my intake. I tracked my food using an app, gave up sugar and started paying attention to how much I was putting on my plate and, in turn, going into my mouth.
I made progress.
By February I'd lost nearly 12kg. That's the first photo. There's only 1.5kg difference between February and April but I think the picture speaks for itself. It was just happening so SLOWLY! How can you go from couch potato to motivated molly and only lose 13kg over 6 months?! It was frustrating as fuck! So then I did what I always do. I gave up. Not totally at first but I started slipping. Bigger serves here, a few chips there,... I celebrated my friends 40th and my own birthday in June and had a bit of a blow out. I ate lots, drank lots, cake, cocktails, lots of bread... yay for birthday's! I fit into an awesome dress and felt really good about myself for the first time in ages. I could do this. I'll stick with this. I'll be a fit, healthy person.
The day after my birthday I found out I was pregnant.
Two days after that I wasn't pregnant any more.
I won't go into it in this post, as that's a WHOLE other story, but the emotional eating definitely kicked in and my motivation slowly dried up.
I don't know why I couldn't maintain my drive. I don't know why I reverted back to eating too much and doing too little. It all just seemed to hard and I was just so sad.
I haven't put all those kg back on, but it feels like I have. And now that I'm pregnant, and it's all going ok this time, I feel like such a failure because I worked so hard and I was getting so fit. I feel huge already and I have a long way to go...
I'm not sure what the point of this post is. Maybe as a reminder that I can do it, that I will get there again, that there's nothing stopping me except me.
Weightloss is 100% a mental journey.