2 Mar 2016

Crack

This post is not about my arse crack.

Or the front crack.

It's about my baby.  Who is clearly on crack because it's 11.05pm and I'm fricking exhausted and I've been trying to go to sleep for nigh on an hour and the STUPID BABY will NOT STOP MOVING!!

STOP MOVING BABY!!

I have tried talking to it, rolling back and forth, singing, different sleeping positions, it's still just bouncing around in there having a grand ol' time.

Or it has hiccups as a result of delicious ice-cream that I ate earlier but either way, it's annoying as all hell and I want to go to Bedfordshire.

I don't remember the Mushroom carrying on with this bullshit.

If this is a sign of things to come, I'm very, very concerned.

Screw you Baby Beet!  Mama needs to sleep!!

Bloody Beachball
In other news, today I read an article about a woman who masturbated during labour.  Yes, masturbated.  You can read Em Rusciano's hilarious take on it here.

I have to say that I'm intrigued, yet not entirely convinced.  Whilst birthing is highly intimate and personal, I'm not sure that I could cross THAT line and start fingering myself in front of my midwife mid-contraction.  Just sayin.

More power to you Ang.  You rock that orgasmic birth!

Ps, thanks to all the well wishers after yesterday's drama.  I'm all good now and obviously baby is still inside where it should stay for a few more weeks... I love me some drama.  Phew.