20 Mar 2016


Last night I went out.

In a dress.

That was entirely too small.

Which you have to do when you're 36 weeks pregnant.

It's still fucking 33 degrees in my town and honestly, I feel like I am cooking internally 99% of the time.  It is hell.

It was the local election and I dragged myself down to the school to vote and there was a million people there.  A million.  The thought of standing there, with people, in 33 degree heat, was really, really offensive to me.

Can I also just take a moment to say that it is 2016.  How is online voting not a thing yet?  I believe in compulsory voting, I believe in democracy.  I DO think we need to make a few changes.  Online voting needs to happen.  ASAP.  And maybe they could not make it compulsory to vote until you're 25.  So you can register and vote if you want to, you just don't HAVE to until you turn 25...

Anyway, I went and got a frozen coke instead and came home to my empty house, the boys were out, and I put the air con on and I looked at the washing and watched Netflix for three hours.  Ok, 4 hours.  Then I realised that I was supposed to get ready and go out and I spent 40 minutes rushing around like a lunatic.

I had to squash my enormous boobs into a proper bra, squeeze into a pair of granny pants, as they're the only ones that go over my belly without cutting me in half, pour myself into a dress that didn't even fit me before I got pregnant and try to apply makeup to my red, swollen face without it melting off almost immediately. I way overapplied the eyeshadow and instead of trying to remove it I thought fuck it and just left it.

I felt really attractive.


Despite it being hot, my arse needing a wide load sign, and I'm wearing more eye make up than Ru Paul, I'm excited.  This is my last evening outing before Baby Beet comes!  I get to eat food that I didn't prepare!  I won't have to wrangle a three year old and yell at a 35 year old to get out of the toilet.  Woo!

I got to speak to adult women, I listened to music, I ate jalapeno poppers, I drank a fruity drink that looked like it should have had vodka in it but didn't.. and despite having sweat dripping down my back and pooling underneath my boobs, I had a fabulous time.

Let's not get carried away. I was home by 10.30.  But I went out.

Go me!

I forgot to take a belly shot so you could see the wideload

Ps I also managed to vote before I went out.  I'm a good law abiding, democratic citizen.

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